tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34025405.post2582548775787799489..comments2024-02-13T03:44:32.683-05:00Comments on Surviving Motherhood: What I'm Still LearningKaren Hossinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18049412644792482270noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34025405.post-36682470789749507002010-07-29T11:58:29.772-04:002010-07-29T11:58:29.772-04:00Sara - "I don't think we really know our ...Sara - "I don't think we really know our own hearts very well at that age." I think you're right. And that gives me hope.<br />The kicker for me is that I want to and need to love Joshua <em>in the moment</em>. It is so tempting to hold out for 'some day' and hope I'll be peaceful with him then. But I don't want to miss out on the days between now and then - and risk losing the 'then' because I wasn't present and loving in the 'now'. Know what I mean?<br />Thanks for your encouraging words!Karen Hossinkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18049412644792482270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34025405.post-51833039091196013232010-07-28T09:57:36.097-04:002010-07-28T09:57:36.097-04:00Aw, Karen... I'm sorry to hear about your hard...Aw, Karen... I'm sorry to hear about your hard day on Friday with your son. It's not easy choosing to hold your son accountable to his commitment to mow, when you know he's going to balk and be angry at you for it. I do believe, though, that someday he'll be saying, "My mom always insisted we stay faithful to our commitments." And he'll be glad.<br /><br />And even though he seems to think he prefers his friends over his family, I don't think we really know our own hearts very well at that age. Sure, friends are fun, but are they as loyal as the day is long, loving unconditionally, like his family does? Again, someday he'll get it. Maybe sooner rather than later! ;) wink<br /><br />Love you, Karen!<br /><br />Gianna -- that was really profound -- thank you for sharing that!Sara K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00252931749088878610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34025405.post-989880080043811692010-07-27T22:13:25.881-04:002010-07-27T22:13:25.881-04:00Gianna - I LOVE YOU!Gianna - I LOVE YOU!Karen Hossinkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18049412644792482270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34025405.post-37325602302301884242010-07-27T16:14:50.377-04:002010-07-27T16:14:50.377-04:00I hate when people say, "you are such a great...I hate when people say, "you are such a great mom." They are trying to encourage you, but that means nothing when you are going through moments/extended periods of time of failure. When they are yelling at you for being the worst mom ever or when you realize you have just SQUASHED your oldest's creativity AGAIN because you were impatient with her (this never happens to me!), those words mean nothing. And you know what? They shouldn't have any meaning. I am NOT "a good mom." I am a forgiven mom who has the power of Jesus Christ living in me. It's not about what I do at all. It's about being chosen by God to parent this child and about being faithful to that calling. And ONLY by his grace, and not how good of a mom I am, will our children grow. <br />Joshua is trying to hurt you and hurt you badly! But it's not up to YOU to change him or convince him that his family is important. YOUR role is to be faithful to God's calling as his mom and run to God when he is being so hurtful (after you explain to him that his words are hurtful, of course).<br /><br />I love you Karen, and I hope that didn't sound like I know everything because I totally don't. I just think that people should stop calling me a good mom. Because it's not about ME being a good mom. It's about God being a good God and not letting my failures ruin my kids.<br /><br />And Joshua doesn't know what he's missing when he's trying to "destroy" his relationship with you. He could be enjoying time with someone who loves him so deeply. Oh, well. One day he will understand!giannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745654173969916703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34025405.post-3715756905883989612010-07-27T11:25:15.954-04:002010-07-27T11:25:15.954-04:00Leslie - I was *this close* to hunting down your p...Leslie - I was *this close* to hunting down your phone number last Friday so I could talk this through with you. I knew you would understand.<br />I waver between 'This is a phase. He'll grow out of it, and one day he'll thank me for everything I did.' and 'I can't let him grow up this way. I have to give him guidance now or he'll be ruined as an adult.'<br />Trusting in the Lord with all my heart. Not leaning on my own understanding. <em>And thankful for friends like you who encourage me!</em><br /><br />Patricia - "Opened my Bible, cried & asked for wisdom" Yes, indeed. We are often at the very same place - because I have been right there so many times! But I know that is the only place I can go in order for all of us (my kids AND me) to survive this thing we call motherhood.<br />I love that we can all share our thoughts and feelings here. It's good to be in this together.Karen Hossinkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18049412644792482270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34025405.post-52737151321928582672010-07-27T10:42:26.458-04:002010-07-27T10:42:26.458-04:00Oh my, Karen, it seems that you & I are often ...Oh my, Karen, it seems that you & I are often at that very same place. Although my daughter is young yet for the "friends" thing, it has been such a rough go of it with her lately & just yesterday I felt so down about it all. I felt like the world's worst mom and last night, I opened my Bible, cried & asked for wisdom...not sure if I got any just yet, lol, but today is off to a better start at least.<br /><br />Thanks for your honesty & for this safe forum to express our thoughts & feelings. This motherhood journey is chock full of bumpy roads, that's for sure!!<br /><br />Hugs, my friend!!<br />PatriciaPatriciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09662206547720030431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34025405.post-58954291608710782842010-07-27T09:26:26.388-04:002010-07-27T09:26:26.388-04:00Heavy sigh. Why? Because I know. Or at least re...Heavy sigh. Why? Because I know. Or at least reading your post it sounds all too familiar. You are more grace filled than I am though. I usually just quietly remind them that life is made of difficult choices and sometimes we have to do what me must not what we want. <br /><br /> I have one son in particular who seems to be more oriented to being with friends than his older two brothers were at his age. It can be quite hurtful. But having gone through transitions with his older brothers I am just remaining quiet, praying a lot, asking for wisdom-just like you. Once again wish we could sit down and talk over a cup of joe. *wink* <br /><br /> Great big hug to you sister. One day you just might get him to tell you how great you are. My eldest has done that a few times since he has left home. He will be 21 in September. So it takes a bit of time before they see it! LOL! Hug.luvmy4sonshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10261302721883036680noreply@blogger.com