Monday, August 11, 2008

Meeting with the Physician

A few days ago I was meeting with our Physician.

The GREAT Physician, that is.

I was talking with Him about my children. My friend gave me a list of 31 Biblical virtues, and every day I talk with the Physician about one of those virtues as they relate to my kids. On this particular day, we were focusing on mercy.
As I do every day, I told the Physician how much I love my children and how great my desire is for them to grow up and become young doctors, walking in His footsteps. Then we started talking about this "mercy" issue.
See, my children are pretty good at being merciful to small animals, and cool bugs they find outside. They know when their friends are in need of kindness and they're able to be merciful toward them. And my kids sure have a handle on understanding when they, themselves, should be the recipients of someone's merciful ways.

But when it comes to showing mercy to one another? Oh, they are desperately lacking.

It is much more common for them to cut each other down and tear one another apart with unkind words. Words which show no sign of mercy. And it hurts my heart when I hear them say these things.
It really makes me sad, and as I talked with my Physician about the sadness in my heart, I nearly started crying. I told Him I know it is more than just the words coming out of their mouths which needs to change. I understand it really is a heart issue, and I asked Him to change their hearts. I asked Him to give them new hearts which spring forth mercy and kind words, which build each other up.

At this point, the Physician was quiet and looked at me with gentle eyes. Though His look was full of love, it pierced right through my heart. And I got silent for a moment.
I just looked at Him.
And He kept staring at me with a shocking love and a look which told me He could see right into my heart.
I asked Him, "Why are You looking at me like that? I'm here to talk with You about my children!"
But He simply kept looking at me.
So I stared back. And I couldn't get over the look of love in His eyes. He wasn't trying to be more stubborn than me. I knew He was trying to tell me something.
But He wasn't talking about my children, and that's what I didn't understand. He knew that's what I was there for. I had made an appointment to talk about my kids, and I fully intended to keep it.
But in time, His love won me over and I began to hear what He was saying. And as soon as I heard Him, I knew He was right. The Physician told me that He will work in my children, but He has also given them me. And the Physician reminded me that I am to be a model of mercy to my children. He told me I was right - in that they need their hearts to be changed - but they also need a model of mercy to follow, and that is one of my primary roles as their mother.
"Oh, Yes! You are so right! You are! You are! I will be that model for them. Yes, I will!"
And I thought we were finished. I was ready to hug Him and be on my merciful way.
But then His eyes caught mine. He had that look again. The piercing one which went right into my heart. Only this time His gaze was moving back and forth from my heart to my eyes, and from my heart to my mouth.
I wondered what on earth He was doing now. Hadn't we reached our conclusion already?
And I rolled my eyes.
That's it! Do that again. No. Wait. And He put a mirror in front of me. Now do it.
So I did. I might have been a little too expressive with the eye rolling the second time around, but I was losing my grasp on patience.
Thankfully, the Physician had lots of it. Yeah, patience and patients! But at the moment, I had His full attention, as if there were no other patients on His mind except me. And without even a trace of the love leaving His expression, He began to talk.
Karen, that thing you just did with your eyes? You did it because you were not being patient with Me, didn't you.
As if He needed to ask.
It didn't look very nice, did it?

Of course, He was right. Again.
Darling, do you realize that is the same look you give your children when they are asking you for help, and love, and attention all day? Many times when these precious ones just want you to love them, when they need some mercy, you roll your eyes at them because you think you have something more important to do. Why is that, dear one?
I lowered my eyes and replied, "Uh. I don't know. Because I'm busy?"

When I glanced up, He was still looking at me. And that love was still there.
And He opened His mouth to speak again. Come closer. Let me have a look at your mouth. Oh...This is not good. My child, you have allowed harsh words to come out of your mouth. When your son was too busy playing to remember to use the toilet, you got upset with him and made him feel bad. Why did you do that, sweetheart?
Again, I lowered my eyes and replied, "I don't know. Because he should know better?"
Precious, Karen. My beloved child. I want you to model mercy for your children. They need to see it coming from you so they know how to show it to each other.
This time, I looked right at Him. And with tears running down my cheeks I said, "You're right. I know You're right! And I'm trying, Physician. Believe me, I'm trying! But I can't seem to get it right. No matter how hard I try, I lose patience and I say unkind things. I am so sorry. You've got to believe me! I just don't know what to do!"

And then He did the most amazing thing. The Physician reached out and took hold of my right hand. With His other hand, He wiped the tears from my eyes. He looked upon me with that love, and He spoke. My child, do not fear. I will help you. I am going to work in the hearts of your children. I promise. But first? Come. I need to do some work on yours.

For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13

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11 comments:

JanMary said...

Amazing and wonderful. Thanks SO MUCH for sharing.

And thanks for the mail too :) A lovely surprise!

Amanda said...

KAREN!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Could you have been writing that about me? YES!

Wow. Here is where I lost it:
"So I stared back. And I couldn't get over the look of love in His eyes."

I had written on compassion and mercy recently..but I think I missed this part. This ESSENTIAL part. How patient and compassionate He is with me!

Thank you for the wonderful reminder of our AWESOME and compassionate and loving God.

You are so good for my soul!

Many blessings-
Amanda

luvmy4sons said...

Sweet precious post. And so so true. More is caught than taught. And God will perfect US and He will perfect our children. And our children learn a lot too from our failures and our ability to be humble and apologize when we do.

Mrs. Sidney said...

WOOOOW, do you have a camera crew following me? I needed this today!!

Thank you!!
Ronel

Cristina said...

It's amazing how your blog always speaks right into my life! I was just talking to my husband last night about showing our daughter more mercy while we are both sick and short on patience.

I wanted to add too that sometimes when my daughter deserves discipline for making a wrong choice, we will talk to her about mercy and tell her we are choosing mercy this time. It is a great way for her to understand the mercy that Christ showed us.

mamajil said...

This was so awesome great post it spoke volumes to me!! Thank you!!

screamofcontinuousness said...

Beautiful Karen. Beautiful.

Anonymous said...

WOW!!!! This spoke right to my heart...at this moment, I REALLY needed this!! THANK YOU!!!!

Patricia

a woman found said...

oh man! that was...amazing. Motherhood keeps me on my knees for sure.

sheila

Geoff and Caron said...

Hi,

What a beautifully written post! I am not a mother, (yet - God willing), but I am a teacher... and I know how hard it can be to always lead by example!

Thank you for illustrating the point so well with your parable.

xxx
Caron

The Redouteys said...

Thanks for sharing your intimate moment Karen! That really spoke to me. You write so beautifully!

Love, Amber