Seeking PEACE Outside of the Quiet

I love my "alone" time.

I love being in the quiet when I can talk to God and ponder life. When I am able to lay my concerns at His feet. When He reminds me He is GOD and I can trust Him. When I come to a place of total surrender, believing what God has told me and receiving the PEACE that only He can give.

Oh! I love those moments!!!

But the other day - while I was enjoying one of those quiet moments - a question popped into my head. Why wasn't I feeling like this yesterday when I was stressed about work and family responsibilities? Why do I only feel this PEACE when I'm in the quiet?
I know God is good in every circumstance. I know I can trust Him in all things, and at all times. I know this! So, Why? I wondered, Why do I let the stress drown out the PEACE?

Most of my life doesn't happen in the quiet, but I long for that PEACE all day. So this is my prayer today. And every day.
FATHER, oh, Lover of my soul! Thank You for Your presence in every moment of my life. Thank You for the quiet moments You give me when my heart can hear You clearly and my spirit is in line with Yours. Thank You, God. I LOVE those moments! And thank You that the peace You give isn't reserved for those moments, alone. Today as I go about my daily things, as I experience stress and am surrounded by noise, Father, will You help me remember I can trust You? Will You speak through the noise and assure me You are good, even when my circumstances are not? Yes, LORD, will You help me know PEACE outside of the quiet? Thank You, JESUS!

A Piece of Quiet

In light of what I wrote about yesterday, I thought today it would be appropriate for me to share a quiet moment I had last week.

It had been an OK day, but a very stress-full evening.
*Gathered the kids together after school to run up to church to take pictures for the new directory.
*Rushed home to get dinner ready - to get Matthew to soccer practice on time - which he ended up skipping because he 'didn't feel well.' (There was a BIG scene involved in that one. *sigh*)
*Tried to support Brian as he dealt with an angry Joshua.
*Took Elizabeth to the store so she could spend her gift card. (She is very particular, and though I tried to be patient - wow! - was that ever a loooong shopping trip.)
*Turned my phone on to find out what time it was (And maybe encourage Elizabeth to make a buying decision. *sheepish grin*) and found out I had a voice mail. From the secretary at school. Telling me I needed to make some phone calls to round up help for an activity at school. But I didn't want another 'thing' added to my To Do list!
*Finally made it home after a stop at one more store, and went downstairs to read to Elizabeth while she took her shower. (Because she asked the right question.) But she wasn't ready yet.
So I slipped my hand in my pocket and felt a piece of paper there. I took it out and read:

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

And I sat down on the steps, leaned against the wall, and let my tears flow as I responded to that verse. I prayed, Lord, I KNOW You are with me, and You are mighty to save. Please take delight in me. Please quiet me with Your love. Please rejoice over me with singing!

And for just a moment, I had a piece of quiet.

I sat and let my Father hold me.

And when I heard, "Mom! I'm ready!" I stood up and went in to read to my daughter. Knowing God was with me, and trusting Him to quiet my anxious heart with His love.

Let's Put an End to 'Quiet Times'

Ah, did I grab your attention?

Are you a little concerned for my relationship with God, based on the title of this post?
Thanks. You're a good friend.
But there is no need to be concerned.

It's just that recently I have been having more conversations with moms, and I am convinced that mothers of young children just can't have 'Quiet Times.' Unless they get up really early, and then they're prone to being grumpy all day. And what good is that?
Anyway, early rising doesn't always mean quiet and uninterrupted time.
Mommy? Is that you? Can I get up now, too?

Been there?

I listened to a very discouraged friend bemoaning her lack of quiet times the other day. But we talked about the fact that God loves us and can speak to us - even when our surroundings are noisy. We can enjoy His presence - even in the midst of chaos. We can hide His Word in our heart (or our pocket!) and meditate on it anytime.
It doesn't need to be quiet, and we don't need to be sitting alone on the couch in order for our time with God to be meaningful.

And that's when I decided I wanted to encourage moms to quit having 'Quiet Times.'

Let's call it 'Fellowship with God' and let's do it all day long!

When the baby is crying, when the dog is barking, when the kids are arguing, when the dishes need washing and the floor needs sweeping - in every moment of every day, whether we can hear the crickets chirping, or not, let's enjoy the presence of our heavenly Father. Let's seek to hear His voice through the noise, and let's allow Him to love us wherever we may be.

Having said that, I must also say that I understand the very real need for times of silence and solitude. (And I don't mean only when you're sleeping!) God often tells us to be quiet and rest in Him. Because He knows we need it.
BUT, if you are in a season when the majority of your time is noisy I want you to be encouraged to know your fellowship with God does not need to come to an end. He has not changed. He is still good. And He is still present.
May you find hope in these truths today.

How Are Your Noisy Times?

"How are your Quiet Times?"

That is a question I used to hear frequently. Friends and spiritual mentors would check in on me - wanting to hold me accountable for spending time with God daily, wondering what God was teaching me, and generally looking out for my spiritual well-being. And somewhere along the way I acquired the belief that God's love for me and the quality of my relationship with Him was directly tied to the frequency, duration, and noise level of my daily time with Him.
Is it any wonder becoming a mother put my spiritual life in a tailspin? The quiet times to which I had become accustomed were virtually non-existent and I was under the impression it was impossible for me to grow in my relationship with God.
How could I spend quiet time every day reading my Bible and praying, when I was surrounded by needy, noisy children?
How could God speak to me if the only quiet time I had was when I was sleeping?
How could God love me when I wasn't able to devote an hour to Him every morning like I used to?

Last week I came across something I wrote several years ago. I was with a group of friends and we were talking about "Quiet Places." Re-reading what I wrote allowed me to remember how troubled I was at that time.

Quiet places, huh?
Lord, I feel discouraged, even a bit depressed. A couple of times lately quiet places, quiet times, a "special spot," or a "prayer room" have come up. These ideas sound great, but I don't see it happening for me. The when and the where seem to evade me.
No. They seem impossible.
I don't think I have the space in my house. I can't imagine truly quiet and uninterrupted time. My heart aches and even yearns for such as these!

Remembering where I was at that time in my life makes me so sad. I know now that God had not stopped loving me, but at the time - because I wasn't having "quiet times" - I basically put my relationship with God on hold. It didn't occur to me that God could love me and speak to me, and that our relationship could continue to grow, in the midst of the noise.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Have you been there, too?

Are you there right now?

If so, may I suggest to you that God is just as near to you, He is just as holy and loves you just as much when you are changing a messy diaper or mopping up spilled apple juice as He is when you find a quiet moment to read a verse or two from your Bible?
And would you believe me if I told you that God can speak to your heart through the noise of a fussing baby or a ranting fifth grader, just as clearly as He can through His still small voice when you happen to find yourself alone in a quiet place?
I didn't mean to, but now I realize that when I was struggling so much to find quiet time, I was confining God to quiet times.
And He cannot be confined.
God has shown me that He can use any situation to speak. He is not afraid of noise, or messes, or tantrums, or even long lines at the grocery store. God is present in each moment. He is loving us. And if we are listening, we can hear Him speak.

I do not mean to say that we do not need to seek quiet time to be alone with God. On the contrary, I treasure the quiet times I have with God and I encourage every one of you to find a way to have them, too. But maybe you are at a place in life where a daily quiet time isn't going to happen. Maybe you need to arrange for child care and can only have an hour or two alone with God a couple times a month.
I don't know your quiet time situation, but I do know that God is holy and good and loving in the noise, too. He is not confined to the quiet. God speaks, even when it's loud.

So my question for you today is this: How are your Noisy Times?

Quiet Times and Motherhood - Wrap up

Last week I did a series which I'm wrapping up today. Here are the previous posts:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
It was my goal to keep the posts "short-ish." So if you missed any of them, I don't think it will take you long to catch up...Go ahead. I'll wait for you!

OK, as promised, now you can see me wrap this thing up.

Quiet Times and Motherhood - Part 5

If you need to catch up...
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Praying on all occasions and carrying scripture in our pockets are two things we can do to meet our needs for fellowship with God and spiritual growth.

Even when our times aren't quiet.

But - as I see it - the third need we have which Quiet Times fulfill, can only be met by God, Himself. We need Him to cover us with His love, and that is something over which we have no control. It is completely up to Him to do it.
I can point to many times when I have been reading my Bible and God has shown me something so delightful, I get the sense He just gave me a big kiss. And there are times when I have been praying about something and when the answer finally comes, it's like God is embracing me in a tender hug.
I simply love it when these events occur.
But an even greater delight for me has been the realization that I don't have to be doing "spiritual" things in order for God to pour His love into me. He'll do the pouring whenever He wants to. He is present in every moment and never wastes an opportunity to show Himself. I just need to be paying attention so I don't miss Him.
And do you know what I have noticed? My children give God lots and lots of opportunities to show Himself! It makes sense, doesn't it? As mothers we're with our children more than we're with anyone else, right? So who better for God to use to demonstrate His love to us, than our children?
I am absolutely convinced God uses my youngest child, Matthew, to hug me and kiss me and tell me He loves me. And the things God has shown me about Himself through the every-day interactions I have with my children are a treasure to me. I could write them all out for you here, but that would make for a very long post...And I've already written about them in Finding Joy!

The point is, God loves you and He is telling you about His love all the time. Look at the blue sky. Look at the orange and yellow and red leaves lining the sky. (My apologies to those of you who don't see this picture when you look out the window. You have your warm winters. I have my beautiful autumns!) When I see this display of God's handiwork I am convinced again of His love. If He didn't care about us, why would He create such a glorious view?
And this awesome God who loves you so much is constantly revealing Himself to you - in the beauty of His creation, and even in the busy-ness of His creatures. Watch for it, Mom. In the midst of the noise, in the times that aren't quiet, even in the struggle - God is using you little noise-makers to love you. Don't miss Him!!!

And please come back Monday when - if I get my act together - you can see me wrap up this series.

Quiet Times and Motherhood - Part 4

Please read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 if you haven't already done so.

OK. So we've established that we can pray all day, right? No need to sit in the corner with eyes closed and hands folded. God can hear us regardless of what we're doing and how much noise is surrounding us. And, in so doing, we can have fellowship with God - all day. That's a good thing.

But how are we supposed to grow spiritually if we don't sit down in a quiet place to study the Word of God for an extended time? We need to be in the Word, don't we???
Yes. I sure think so! And I am so thankful to be at a place in my life where most days I can have uninterrupted time to read my Bible. I am so thankful!
But it hasn't always been like this for me, and I know for many moms there are only big chunks of time to study the Bible in her dreams. So what is a person to do who wants to be in the Word, but for all her best intentions she just can't see a way to do it?
First, remember that nothing is impossible with God! And second, get creative. Hey, God is creative - why shouldn't we be, too?
Think for a minute about your wardrobe. Do most of your pants have pockets in them? Then I have a great idea for you!
Write down a Bible verse on a small piece of paper and carry it with you in your pocket. Whenever you put your hand in your pocket, or touch the outside of your pocket, or do anything which reminds you that verse is in there, take it out and read it.
Almost every day you will find me with a Bible verse in my pocket. And if you were to follow me around you would see me reading the verse many, many times throughout that day. When I'm waiting in the line at the store, or when I'm waiting for water to start boiling on the stove, or when I'm waiting for anything else - I'll just take that verse out of my pocket and read it. I read it, I think about it, and I pray that God will speak to me through His Word.
And I have found He speaks just as clearly through one verse on a little piece of paper, written by my little hand - as He does through that same verse written in my big Bible, which I could never fit into my pocket.

This practice of carrying a Bible verse in my pocket has been a major blessing to me. God has used these verses to speak to my heart all day long, and I love it. As I said before, I treasure the time I do have to study my Bible. But I am convinced that God can get His Word into our hearts very effectively when we are grabbing little bits of time throughout the day to read and reflect on one precious verse.

So if you are struggling to find time to be in the Word, please give this practice a try. Again, your times don't need to be quiet. God will use your willingness to get His Word into your heart!

Tomorrow we're going to talk about our need to have God cover us with His love. Please come back!

Quiet Times and Motherhood - Part 3

Please read these first:
Part 1
Part 2

If the first of our quiet time needs is to have fellowship with God, how do we accomplish that? Well, how do you have fellowship with anyone else? By talking with them, right?
I think that's how we accomplish fellowship with God, too.
Through prayer.
We talk to Him, and He talks to us.

But I don't think this time of prayer needs to occur in a 10-15 minute window early in the morning before there is any noise in the house. I have become quite confident that God is perfectly able to hear our prayers when our surroundings are not quiet. Yes, He can hear you even when your children are screaming. And if you work on it, I believe you can hear Him, too - even when your children are screaming.
AND, I have become equally confident that God can also pay attention to our prayers even if we're doing some activity besides sitting in a corner with our eyes closed and our hands folded.
In fact, I am becoming more and more convinced that God made women multi-taskers so mothers of young children could have fellowship with Him. Though it took me a while to understand I could do it, now I pray all the time.
When I am walking my boys to school, I'm praying for them.
When I am doing laundry, I pray for the person whose clothes I'm folding.
Whenever I think of my husband, I thank God for him.
When the kids are getting loud, I ask God to help me deal with the noise.
And when I am getting frustrated with them about something, you better believe I am begging God to calm my heart and to give me wisdom.

As I have adopted this practice of praying throughout my day, even when my times aren't quiet, I have enjoyed sweet fellowship with God. I have become increasingly aware of His presence and have surely grown in my love for Him. It has been a very good thing!

Come back tomorrow so we can talk about growing spiritually.

Quiet Times and Motherhood - Part 2

If you haven't read Part 1 of this series, please read that post before getting into this one.

So, what are quiet times?

I was taught that a quiet time is a portion of your day which you set aside to sit quietly before the Lord, to read your Bible, pray, and maybe spend time journaling. People often had suggestions for the amount of time one should spend on each of these components - the longer, the better, many would say.
And for some reason, it seems this "quiet time" was most frequently prescribed for the morning hours - which, for most mothers of young children, means very early morning hours.
So, I'm wondering. Who made up these "rules" for quiet times? And who decided on the time limits? If I don't read my Bible for 15 minutes, does that mean I haven't met with God?

And why do we have quiet times, anyway? What's the purpose? Does God need this time with us?
No. We are the needy ones!

I have thought about why we have quiet times, and I think I can boil it down to three things.
* We have quiet times because we need to have fellowship with God.
* We have quiet times because we need to grow spiritually.
* We have quiet times because we need to have God pour His love into us.

But, do we have to have 30-45 quiet minutes of Bible reading and prayer, and maybe some journaling, to accomplish those goals? Each of those components is a good thing, I encourage you to engage in them. But for all you mothers of young children, I want to offer you a different perspective on quiet times.
Because as a mother of young children I am willing to bet most of the times at your house are anything but quiet. And the hope I want to hold out to you is this: Even if you don't have "quiet times" you can still have fellowship with God. You can still grow spiritually. He can still cover you with His love.

Come back tomorrow and we'll talk about fellowship.

Quiet Times and Motherhood - Part 1

I became a Christian when I was in college and quickly became aware of this phenomenon called a "quiet time."
I was taught that I needed to spend time every day reading my Bible and praying. Although no one explicitly stated it, I had the distinct impression that God's love for me was directly tied to the frequency and quality of my quiet times.
Over the course of the next five and a half years, I rarely missed one. OK, during exam week I might have missed a devotion or two, but I'm sure I felt bad about it!
And if I felt bad about missing one or two during exam week, you can only imagine my angst after I had my first baby. You can imagine it, right? I mean, I'm guessing you might even know exactly how I felt?
With a new baby, nearly sleepless nights, and rarely a quiet moment during the day, I was not sure if I would ever be able to have a quiet time again. I was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt. In addition to often feeling inadequate as a mother, I was feeling like a second-class Christian. I felt like God probably didn't love me as much because I wasn't having quiet times. I felt like I was letting Him down.

I was not in a good place.

Then an older woman who had "been there," told me it was OK that I wasn't able to have a quiet time every day. She told me God understood, and I shouldn't feel bad about it.
If I wasn't a Type-A freak, her words probably would have been just the grace I needed. But I had a tendency to operate on an all-or-nothing basis. Since I couldn't maintain the rigorous quiet time regimen to which I had become accustomed, I essentially threw the whole thing out the window.
If God "understood," if He wasn't upset with me for being a busy mom, if it was OK that I couldn't manage to have quiet times every day, I figured I had permission to put quiet times on hold until my times were quiet again. Of course, this wasn't a conscious decision - I can only understand it now because of hind-sight. The point is, I had an incomplete understanding of quiet times and because of that confusion I missed out on spiritual growth and fellowship with God over the next several years.

Because He is patient, because His grace knows no bounds, because He loves me more than I deserve, God waited for me during those years.
I didn't walk away from God. I never stopped believing in Him. There was no crisis of faith for me. But I wasn't engaging with Him in fellowship like I could have been.
Yet, He waited.
And I'm sure He was speaking. I'm sure He was calling me. Though I wasn't listening, I am sure God was telling me that I could have delightful fellowship with Him in the midst of motherhood. Oh, how I wish I would have been listening. How I wish I wouldn't have missed those years with Him.

How thankful I am that God never gave up on me!

When I finally started paying attention, God opened my eyes to some truths about quiet times. He showed me ways that I can be near to Him - even when my times aren't quiet. And I discovered that I can, indeed, have delightful fellowship with God in the midst of motherhood.

Come back tomorrow for Part 2!

Ahhh, That's Better!

In my last post I was mulling over whether or not I should continue to wake my kids at 6:00 on school days because they were interrupting my quiet time for reading my Bible and praying. Thanks to those of you who shared comments and encouragement with me!

I decided to tell them they needed to stay in their rooms quietly until 6:40, so I could have this much-needed time alone. Elizabeth's response to my decision was quite funny, though I was honestly trying not to laugh at the time. (She is almost eleven and her hormones are starting to surge. I know this is true because she cries at the tiniest thing these days.) So when I told the kids I wanted to have that window of time from 6:00 to 6:40 alone and quiet downstairs, Elizabeth got wide-eyed and started crying. She said she needs to come down and eat her breakfast because she is starving every morning and can't possibly wait until 6:40 to eat. (I have a thing about them not taking food up to their rooms. We've had ants, you know, I just don't want to go there again!) She acted as though the world would end if she couldn't do this early rising thing. But we were able to convince her since she doesn't eat that early on Saturday and Sunday, she probably won't wither away on any other day. She agreed to try.

So yesterday I came downstairs alone at 6:00 and sat down to pray. The words Thank You, Lord for this time alone and quiet with You had so much more meaning after the struggle I went through to acquire the time. They were just as rich this morning.
And I'm reminded of one of the ways God works in my life. He builds desires in me, moves in me to want something, allows me to struggle so that "thing" is just out of reach and I'm really hungering for it, and then He works things out and the "thing" I've been desiring (in this case, time alone with Him) is sweeter to me than it was, or would have been, without the struggle.
In the midst of the struggle I'm too often frustrated, thinking, "Woe is me!" When the time is right, He works it out and I see He was there all the time orchestrating life and using the trials according to His good purposes. Then I am able to thank Him for the hard times. I want to grow in my faith and be able to thank Him during the hard times, too.
I am a work in progress - aren't we all? - learning to trust Him more each day, learning to surrender my will to His, and filled with joy that He is so patient with me. Isn't He good???

To Wake or Not to Wake?

I became a Christian when I was a freshman in college. The next year I got involved in a Christian fellowship group and learned about something called a "daily quiet time" or DQT. (Since we had an acronym for everything!) I then got into the habit of spending time each day reading my Bible and praying. It was a good thing.
I continued with this practice through college and into my married life, until I had kids. Then it pretty much went out the window. Oh, I tried, but I was tired and overwhelmed with baby stuff and just couldn't seem to bring myself to manage fitting DQTs into my life, too. So for years, my "quiet times" were probably monthly, or semi-monthly at best.

God is so gracious, though. I love that although I wasn't making time for Him, He never let up on His love for me or His desire for me to know Him. Over time, I came to understand His love for me is not dependent upon my performance, or my keeping of spiritual disciplines. Nothing I ever do will increase or decrease His love for me. He loves us because He chooses to love. With that understanding, my gulity feelings for not having quiet times faded and my desire to have those quiet times grew!
While the desire was there, I still couldn't imagine how I could make it work. Then I was at a TimeOut for Women! conference and one of the speakers, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, gave us a "30-Day Challenge." Nancy had been talking about God's desire for intimacy with us and closed with a challenge for us to spend some time alone and quiet with Him each day, for the next 30 days. She gave some practical suggestions on how we could do it (like getting up earlier, but I don't want to get up earlier!) and that was the push I needed. I accepted the challenge and began a new leg on my journey with God.

It has been about a year and a half now that I've been getting up (most days) at 6:00 and spending time praying, studying God's Word, and enjoying His love for me. Though I realize that window of time from 6:00 to 6:40 is no more holy than any other time of the day, God is no less present to me the rest of the day, and He doesn't love me any more now than He did two years ago when my "quiet times" were nearly non-existent, I have come to cherish and even crave these times with Him.
That brings me to today and the question pressing on my mind. It used to be that I got up at 6:00 so I could have these peaceful moments with God before I woke the kids at 6:40 to get ready for school. One day Elizabeth got up at 6:00, too, to have extra time in the morning to play a computer game or work on an art project. That wasn't a big deal. She was pretty quiet.
Then Joshua started asking me to wake him up at 6:00 so he could play computer games, too. And my quiet time started getting a little noisier. Now Matthew has become a regular part of the 6:00 bunch and I'm thinking I need to take the word "quiet" out of the time I spend with God in the morning. (As well as the concept of "alone.")
This morning I "pulled Elizabeth out of bed" like she asked me to, to make sure she would get up. Then I half-heartedly wakened Joshua and told him he could get up if he wanted, though I was hoping he'd say he wanted to stay in bed until 6:40. Matthew didn't need any help. He just got up. (This does leave me wondering why I have to work so hard to get him out of bed at the times when I really want him up...)
I came downstairs, settled into my chair and began to look at Psalm 34:7. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. Then Joshua settled down next to me to play a computer game, and I asked him if he would please take it into the other room. He agreed reluctantly, but at least he agreed. Soon a conversation began between Joshua and Elizabeth, but I tried to tune them out and just imagine the angel of the Lord encamping around me.
Just then Matthew stood before me with a bowl full of oatmeal. Turning on his charm, he said, "Mommy, would you be nice enough to make this oatmeal for me?" I wanted to say/yell very sarcastically, "No! I'm trying to meet with God here! Would you just leave me alone?!?!?!" I knew that wouldn't be a good response, so I got up and made his oatmeal. I noticed, though, that I had become quite grumpy in the opening minutes of my "quiet time." "Grumpy" is not the behavioral disposition I'm hoping to obtain each morning, and I started getting teary as I considered what was going on inside of me. So I put Matthew's oatmeal on the table for him and went up to Elizabeth's room to journal and pray and try to sort things out with God, while echos of the kids' voices resounded from below.
Part of me thinks the kids shouldn't come downstairs before 6:40. They don't need more computer time. They could use the extra sleep. I could use the peace and quiet.
Then I wonder, "Am I just being selfish?" Selfishness and I have a long history with each other and I'm trying to break things off with it, so I question my own motives a lot. I'm wondering, is it selfish for me to want the kids to leave me alone for this 40 minute window of time? Am I just spiritualizing my own selfishness?
I want to delight the heart of God by the things I do and say and by the person I'm becoming. I believe that starts by me spending this time with Him each day. It delights my heart to be in His presence this way. But something isn't working now and I'm not sure what to do. Anyone have some words of wisdom and experience to share with me???