I Want to be Special

Continuing on my little journey of self-discovery...

In addition to realizing I want to be known, I recently concluded I also have a desire to be special.

When Brian and I were on our cruise last month, we had the most delightful waitress. Her name was Lisabeth, and she was from Chile. I looked forward to dinner every night - not because I was hungry (Because, really, who gets hungry on a cruise? There's food everywhere!) - but because I was happy to see Lisabeth. She was charming and sweet and funny and cute, and she always made me smile. She was perfect for her job, and she really *made* the cruise for me.
And the thing is? I wanted to be a blessing back to her. I wanted to shine a light for her - like she did for me. I wanted her to be as happy about that 8:00 seating as I was. I wanted to make a difference in her life. To be special to her.
However, in the weeks following my vacation, I've lost that hope. I tried unsuccessfully to find Lisabeth on Facebook. Thought it would have been fun to stay in touch with her, and hopefully build into her life that way. But that isn't going to happen.
And I've realized she may well have forgotten me by now. She's had five weeks' worth of cruises since I was on the Serenade of the Seas. She's been busy delighting other travelers - suggesting appetizers and dinners and desserts, and telling her silly stories to bring laughter and joy to lots of other people. Hopefully, they have also been treating her kindly and making her feel like the treasure she is.
I'm sure in the midst of all that interaction with other people, Lisabeth has pretty much forgotten about "Karen from Michigan". I suppose I was special to her during the week of my cruise, but other people have taken on that role since then.
Hey, they've paid for it, and they deserve it. *wink*
Still, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little sad at the thought that Lisabeth probably doesn't remember me with fondness anymore. And admitting that sadness to myself is what made me realize that desire deep within me. The one which cries out, I want to be special!
And I don't mean a selfish kind of desire to be special - because you want to be the center of attention, or something. I mean the kind of special which makes a person glad they have known you. The kind of special that makes another person smile when they think of you - because you're a treasure to them. That's the kind of special I want to be. Are you with me?

C'mon back tomorrow so I can wrap these reflections up with the assurances God has been putting in my heart over the past several days.