Me: (as Matthew is picking up the fruit bowl for a second serving) Uh, make sure you leave enough for Josh to have some.
Matthew: (groaning) But he isn't here.
Me: Leave enough for Josh.
Matthew: He doesn't even have to know we had any.
Me: Matthew, if you were the one at work and Josh was going for the rest of the fruit, wouldn't you want me to stick up for you?
Brian: Yeah, Matthew. What would Jesus do?
Matthew: (shrugging) Make more fruit?
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