Seeking HIS Heart

Have you ever really considered how broken you are?
Even when you know you're a sinner, saved by grace - able and willing to admit it - seeking to be re-made by the One who can restore you, but then finding yourself with a certain level of pride in knowing you're broken-but-being-made-new?
I mean, that's some serious messiness right there.
And it's on my mind as I continue studying Ezekiel, and particularly verse 27 of chapter 21.

"A ruin, a ruin, a ruin, I will make it. This also will be no more until He comes whose right it is, and I will give it to Him."

I came across an incredibly insightful and thought-provoking treatise on this verse, and God is using it to stir my heart and mind. The "article" is really long (and I haven't finished reading yet) but I highly recommend it to you.

The more I consider the layers of sinfulness in me - the aspects of brokenness which don't show up until the first and second and third layers are peeled away - the more I become convinced I need this verse in Ezekiel to manifest in my life. I need to be made a ruin, three times over (and more!), until I am fully given to Jesus and transformed completely into His image.
The thing is, there are times when I recognize my desperation for Him and I surrender anew to His refining work in me - and it all seems good. But then sin crouches behind me and whispers lies which I believe, and I fall right back to where I was before. Or near to it, anyway. Not the same place. Sin always manages to find a new level of brokenness for me.
And I must be ruined once again.

So that's where I am today.
Seeking God's heart and His hand.
Needing His grace to carry me.
Asking His Spirit to lead me.
Trusting His goodness in all things.