Sunday, September 10, 2006

He loves me

God was speaking again this morning.

We’re starting a new series at church – four weeks about recovery from our hurts, habits and hang-ups – and today was the first sermon. As my pastor pointed out, we all have need of recovery in some way and if we think otherwise, we’re probably in “denial.” And he was quick to point out “denial” isn’t just a river in Egypt.

Anyway, there were post-it notes in our bulletins which we were to use to write down whatever God may lay on our heart as something from which we need to “recover.” We were instructed that at the end of the service we could put our note on the windows in the atrium, along with the hundreds of others (thereby remaining annonymous). So I started thinking, “What, Lord? What do you want to lay on my heart?” And then there was a drama presentation in which people spoke, either out of a state of acceptance or denial, of their “issue.” While the ones in denial sometimes made me laugh (because their issue and denial of it was so obvious!), they also made me do some self-evaluation.

Yes, I have my own “issues” and need for recovery. As I listened to the character on stage getting frustrated and yelling, I recalled the past few days around my house. I wrote down on my post-it note, “I don’t want to be so up-tight and controlling.” (So much for annonimity! Oh well, I’m willing to be open with you in the hopes it will encourage you to know you aren’t alone in your struggles.)

After the sermon we celebrated Communion together. As I held the bread and the cup in my hand and listened to the band, I thought about the times this week I’ve blown it and yelled. I recalled the times I have not been the woman and mother I know He wants me to be. And I sat amazed and thankful that He loves me anyway. Jesus died so I could be forgiven for each time I fail, for each time I let selfish, self-centered me take over and rule my day. With tears in my eyes I thanked Him again for His unfailing love.

Do you realize this love is for you, too? No matter how many times you’ve blown it. No matter how many times you’ve said, “I’m sorry. I’ll never do that again,” and turned around and blown it again. God still loves you. How wonderful is that?!

I pray He’ll speak His love to you through these words today.


Stephanie said...

I checked out your website! Impressive. I'm so proud of you. I look forward to keeing more in touch with you through your blog. Hope the book selling goes well. I might have to ask Ted if he'll get me a copy. It'd be fun to read stories from someone I know.

Anonymous said...

Greetings from Gaylord!
Congratulations on the launch of your site. It looks great. You are a wonderful writer. I can totally relate to your mom issues!
If one more well intentioned older woman in the check out line tells me, "they grow up so fast" , I am going to scream! =)
Look forward to meeting you in person! Tami K.