Thursday morning I am flying to Wisconsin to speak for a MOPS group in the evening. Some of you may recall my post from yesterday mentioning Brian is out of town this week and, being the concerned women you are, you may be wondering who is going to watch my kids while I'm gone. This afternoon I was wondering that same thing.
I had made arrangements for someone to be here when the kids got home from school, and to stay with them until another friend is coming over to spend the night with them. I was so pleased at how it all came together. Yesterday I called to confirm these arrangements and when I finally spoke with the babysitter today I learned she is unable to be here after all.
I panicked.
I had already gone through my list of relatives for help with child care and no one was available. Now I didn't know what I was going to do. OK, I knew enough to cry and pray. Oh, did I pray! Lord, I know You know what I need to do. I know You know who will stay with my kids Thursday afternoon. I know You can work this out. I know You are able. I know it will all be OK. Father, please show me what to do!
And He did. I called my new neighbor who had welcomed me so kindly to the neighborhood, and who told me, "If you ever need help with anything, just ask!" Her son and daughter walk with Elizabeth to the bus stop each day and she was happy to step in for me Thursday afternoon. Whew! Crisis averted!
Needless to say, however, I was on the edge emotionally by this time. Plus, the unplanned time I spent trying to figure that situation out set me back on dinner preparation. Tonight was Curriculum Night at the boys' school so we needed to eat a little earlier to get to school on time. Great, I needed more pressure.
Dinner time brought its own stresses. Then, as we were walking out the door to go to school, I was looking in the mirror to make sure I had successfully wiped away the mascara which had been running with the tears down my cheeks. Elizabeth assured me I didn't look like I was crying. She's so sweet.
When we got home from Curriculum Night and I was saying goodnight to the kids, (and was looking at the dirty table and dishes I'd left behind in an attempt to get to school on time...) Brian called. I hadn't been crying for awhile, but I let it go with him. He prayed for me and the Lord reminded me of what is True. He IS bigger than my troubles. He WILL carry me through them. And one day He's coming back and He WILL remove me from them completely! This time the tears were happy tears.
So why am I calling this post "In Expectation"? Because I am reminded of previous times when I have been on the verge of a speaking engagement and it seemed like everything was falling apart, but then God did a wonderful work in the hearts of moms who are overwhelmed and broken just like me. I am expecting Him to do it again.
As I was writing this out tonight I thought, Man, I sound really pathetic. Guess what?
I am! I am a broken woman. I am absolutely hopeless without my Savior. But I am trusting Him to take this broken vessel named Karen and to use her to minister hope and healing to other broken moms Thursday night. Please pray with me to that end!
And I don't know if Becky (the coordinator of the group to whom I'm speaking Thursday) reads my blog, but if you are reading I hope I'm not freaking you out. I am going to be fine and we're going to have a wonderful evening. To God be the glory!!!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
In Expectation
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8 comments:
I pray that Father speaks through you, that his anointing flows through you. May he uplift and prepare you, may he take you to a new place in the Spirit. May you see more victories in the personal and in the group setting. Lord go before Karen, watch over her children whilst she is away and her husband, be her rearguard and a hedge of protection also in Jesus name. Amen.
Could've written any part of this myself... :)
Things are going to be great and God's going to speak through you... He does it all the time... :)
Thanks so much for sharing that. I needed to be reminded of those truths. He is bigger and He will carry me. And, things seem to fall apart just before a speaking engagement because Satan just hates what God does through you at those events. He's been working overtime. But you just gave God even more glory through how you handled his attacks! Amen. :)
I began a speaking class in April (that I hope to finish in the spring - LONG story there...) and one of the things our instructor said right off the bat is that we can always expect opposition and extra stress and problems right before important speaking engagements. She cautioned us on how to schedule them, saying that if we already knew it was going to be a stressful time with 'other' life things not to book a talk somewhere because everything would be multiplied. (I know you know all of this from first hand experience!!) I pray that you will be blessed with multiplied blessings for persevering through the stress to get where you needed to be. I praise God with you for answered prayer, for his concern about the details of our lives, and for such a wonderful loving husband who could speak into your situation and take the crazies away (at least for a bit). I'd love to hear you speak sometime. I know the Lord must use you in powerful ways (maybe that you aren't even aware of). Bless you and your ministry!!
just so you all don't think I'm the perfect husband: Karen left out the part the night before where I made her cry because I challenged a decision she made in my absence.
that's my confession.
-Brian
Hi Karen! Wow, it sounds like you really had your hands full to overflowing! Praise God He always intervenes on our behalf. I know your speaking engagement is going to go amazingly well!
Oh Karen, your post made me cry! I love how honest you are about your need for the Savior. How wise to recognize the set backs as the enemy's attempt to thwart what God wants to do.
By now you are probably getting ready for your evening. Know that I am praying and waiting expectantly with you to see what the Lord will do tonight. I know it will be something big! Can't wait to see how He uses you my friend to pour into the lives of those Michigan mommies!
Now I'm tearing up! I would have cried then, too. But, God works everyhting out. If only I could learn not to panic in my own life.
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