Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Was That a Compliment?

OK, so the other night I was in my daughter's bedroom saying goodnight and she was telling me about some adventures she'd had that day. (Elizabeth loves to talk and would do so non-stop, given the chance. Which is why I laugh at parent-teacher conferences when her teachers tell me she's quiet. My daughter???)
It was getting late and I still needed to say goodnight to the boys so I said something like, "OK, honey. That's all the time we have for the story. Would you like a song tonight?"
Elizabeth said I must not have been that interested in her story. Well, honestly, I really wasn't. And I admitted as much.
Then Elizabeth said, "Mom, you're really good at making people think you're interested in what they're saying, even when you aren't."

And I wondered, Was that a compliment?



KelliGirl said...

Yep, that's a compliment!

Kelly Combs said...

Aww, I don't whether that is a compliment or not, but I know what you mean. I have a little 5 yr old talker that tells stories about EVERYTHING.

Hope you & yours have a great Christmas time!

luvmy4sons said...

I think it is testimony to your little girls perception and the fact that she is growing up! LOL! That is great!

Patricia/NYC said...

Hmmmm, I think I would have asked the same question as you! I don't know if it was a compliment or not, but it gives me insight as to what to expect in a few 5yr old is quite the chatterbox/storyteller too!

The other day she told her teachers that I used to be in the circus & walk a tightrope!?!? No wonder I was getting some strange looks at pick-up time!;)


Irritable Mother said...

Kelli - Yes. Elizabeth confirmed a few days later that she was, indeed, meaning to say something nice. Don't know if she could tell I was wondering, or not, but she said, "Remember the other day when I said that thing about you being good at making people think you're interested in what they're saying? I meant that's good thing!"

Kelly - It's a good thing we have TWO ears to take it all in. Amen? *grin*

Leslie - Yes. Elizabeth is perceptive. And the next day as she was going on and on about a story from school, and I was doing my best to use my active listening skills and stay engaged, I wondered, Hmmm. Can she tell I am really NOT interested in this topic of conversation??? LOL!

Patricia - Well, you live in NYC - isn't that close enough to being in a circus??? *grin*

2Thinks said...

ah yes, sometimes I am guilty of pretending to be interested when really I am not so much- is that okay, though? I mean, are there times when that is just okay? I'm interested in the person, in general,of course, but not always in what the person is saying. I think it's okay. And if you're good at making a person feel interesting and important, well, that's nice, isn't it? :) "Build each other up..."

Irritable Mother said...

Heidi - I absolutely think it's OK. That's why I try so hard to ask questions and stay engaged in the conversation. I may not be interested in the topic, but I can still be interested in the person.
Yes. I fully agree with you.

Edie said...

I think that is a compliment with a lesson attached. :D

What I really love about this is the way your daughter analyzed the situation and you. She *caught* something about you through this experience. That might be an indication of a *skill* that God is developing in her. Maybe she will be good at reading people or seeing their individual strengths. Hmmm.

Love you!

Edie said...

Okay I just went back and read the other comments. (I must not have enough to do today.) After reading that she came back to reassure you that she meant it as a compliment, I am almost certain she is using a life skill. Encourage her in it and help her to develop it. :)

Okay I'm going to go clean up the house now.

Irritable Mother said...

Thanks, Edie. I will encourage her in that life skill. She really is a perciptive girl.
Happy cleaning. Come over when you're finished and we can get started here. *grin*

Amanda said...

Sounds like you have a wise girl there! And an honest one too... I hope she holds on to that for a long time! :) Blessings!


On Purpose said...

Oh girl this could so be a little message all in itself... :) WHy? Because it spoke huge to my heart brought me some peace and reminded me to slow down and savor some very important moments...thank you!

Angie Muresan said...

I would say so. Actually, I'm impressed with both of you. You actually listen even if uninterested in the subject, and she is so perceptive.

Irritable Mother said...

I do, Amanda. And I love her to pieces!

See, Nichole? God knows what we need and He speaks. So glad you have an open heart!

Angie, you are too generous. I do try to listen. But too often my attitude is that of, Can we move on, please???
Trying to move closer to thinking more of others and less of me. It's a long road...

God's girl said...

LOL:) Ah...kinda' cute, yet "tweaking" all at the same time:) Makes us think! Thanks for sharing:)

Leah said...

Compliment...not so much! Wake up call for all of us....definitely. I am so much better at talking than I am at listening. Thanks Elizabeth for the reminder to listen more than i talk...and to really, really listen.


Irritable Mother said...

Heaven - I have been thinking more since she made that comment, and my attitude has certainly been tweaked. In a good way. *grin*

Leah - I find it makes a HUGE difference when I stop what I am doing and LOOK at the person talking to me. I can listen better when I am not trying to do something else, too.