Maybe God Sees COVID-19 Differently

I watched a bit of my governor's COVID-19 Update from last Friday, and it got me to thinking.
Governor Whitmer invited some religious leaders to attend the daily conference to "offer prayers for unity" and something one of them said made me wonder if God might be looking at this situation differently than we are.
He prayed, "We know You do not wish this terrible evil upon us...We know that You encourage the efforts of our brilliant researchers in looking for treatments for the symptoms and a vaccine for the virus." And somehow, claiming to KNOW those things just didn't sit right with me.
Because, to me, the implication of knowing that God does not wish for us to be in this circumstance and knowing that He is rooting for smart people to come up with a solution is that God is neither powerful nor in control. Or, maybe He is powerful and in control, but uninterested in helping us - opting, instead, to "encourage" scientists to find a solution to our problem.
So, maybe He's weak.
Or maybe He's withdrawn.
Or maybe we need to look at our present circumstance in a different light.
What if the God of the universe - the Creator of the world and everything in it - what if He, Himself, could put an end to COVID-19 in the blink of an eye just by willing it to be gone? What if He doesn't need anybody to come up with a vaccine or treatments or any other thing? What if He isn't looking for us to rely on ourselves and new normals and safe practices and mitigations and all those other buzz-words we're throwing around these days? What if God in His holiness and wisdom and perfect authority has allowed COVID-19 to become a pandemic among us (not necessarily a "terrible evil upon us") so that we would be brought to our knees in recognition of the fact that we can't rely on ourselves? What if He has allowed a tiny virus to devastate us - to strip away our confidence in our selves and our things - so that we would surrender our wills and our lives to an almighty God who is the only One worthy of our trust?
What if God is more concerned about our hearts and our relationship with Himself than He is in bringing an end to COVID-19?
What if COVID-19 is a tool He intends to use to bring the world to Himself?

I mean, maybe I'm way off in my wondering, but I believe God is good and powerful and in control.
And if He didn't wish for us to be going through what we're going through I believe He would end it here and now.
But He hasn't.
Instead, He's allowing it. And I think we would be wise to seek to understand why, and to respond obediently in accordance to His ways.

My Offering

OK, so I've been going through this thing with the LORD.
With regards to this blog.
I mean, at times I wonder if I should keep on posting.
That is, I love writing about the things of life, the ways God is speaking, and the lessons He's teaching me. So many times He speaks to me as I write - clarifying thoughts in my head and convictions in my heart, as I seek to put them into words which someone else might understand. And I delight in the thought that what He is working in me might be something He would also use to bless another human soul.
But, here's the rub.
Sometimes I let low numbers discourge me. Oh, only 12 people opened that post?
Sometimes I let page hits define my worth. Ooooo! This one is getting attention! I guess I did something right.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm making a difference at all. Should I put in the effort to prepare a post for tomorrow? Will anybody read it???
So one day recently I sat in front of my computer, and I didn't type a single word.
Instead, I prayed.
I just prayed, and I asked God what HE wanted me to do.
And the converstaion which ensued between the two of us (Between HIS heart and mine.) has lasted for a couple of weeks.
It began with Him reminding me (again!) that my worth - and His pleasure in me - is not measured in numbers. Particularly, not the number of people who read what I've written, and not the number of comments or "likes" left here or on Facebook.
And then?
Then the Master and Creator of my heart got down to the business of speaking to my heart in a way that was at once difficult, but ultimately freeing. That is to say, as His Spirit spoke to my heart and dug through the reasons I was giving for wondering if I should keep writing, HE revealed my pride.
The "need" I thought I had for validation - you know, wanting to know someone had been touched by something I shared.
Even though I was telling myself it was honorable (Wanting to make a difference for the kingdom. Putting forth my best effort, praying for God's leading, and asking Him to speak through my words to the hearts of everyone (anyone?) who might read.) the Holy Spirit let me see it for what it really was: My ego wanting to be uplifted by knowing I had done something wonderful. Though I tried to justify it as being about Him, HE let me see it was really all about me. Writing those words feels ugly. But if I try to phrase them in a way that puts my self in a better light, well, pride wins again. And I am so done with losing that battle!!!

Yeah. So that was the difficult part.

Then the LORD asked my heart a very pointed question.
HE took me down a road I had not expected to go.
Karen, am I enough???
If I were the only One who saw what you wrote, if I were the only One who had the chance to look into your heart, if nobody but Me was ever going to see what you posted, would you still care to do your best? Would you still pray, would you still seek My heart, would you still be faithful - if it was only for Me?
I sat with those words for a while, not having realized my pride would have caused my God to feel second in my heart. Oh, it was never my intention to be held captive by the praises of men. Yet, there I was: Sensing that my Lord wondered if I would be willing to write if HE was my only audience.
As His words pierced my heart, I humbly apologized for losing sight of what matters. Then, with joyful conviction and a sense of being restored, I surrendered to Him one more time and said, "Yes, LORD. Yes. I will do this all for You. I will do this for only You. You are more than Enough!!!"

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men...
It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Colossians 3:23-24

Who Will Stand in the Gap?

If you've been reading here with any regularity over the past month, you likely know I am studying the book of Ezekiel with my Precept class.
You've probably also noticed this book is affecting me in significant ways.
And, wow, it just keeps going.(!)
That is to say, I have just finished the lesson over chapter 22 and I think I have now read the saddest verse in all of scripture.
Check this out:

"I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one."

~Ezekiel 22:30

OK, so I have had a cursory awareness of the phrase "stand in the gap".
I vaugely remember it being the theme of Promise Keepers 22 years ago. (Thanks, Google, for that piece of information.)
What I mean to say is, I've heard the phrase used in the context of Christians praying.
But seeing the phrase in the biblical context - from which it has been taken all the other times I've heard it used - absolutely wrecked my heart!
Let me set the scene for you.
The first 29 verses of Ezekiel 22 call for Ezekiel to pronounce judgment on Jerusalem because of all her abominations. That is, the first two verses make that declaration. The following 27 give detail to the lewdness which had defiled the city. The abominations are all laid out which were done by the rulers of Israel, the slanderous men, the prophets, the priests, the princes, and the people of the land.
It's a long list!
And then comes verse 30. I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one.

What is God saying there???

If HE had found somebody who was praying for Jerusalem, who was agonizing over her wickedness and begging Him for mercy, would He have really spared the land?
(See Exodus 32:11-14 and Psalm 106:19-23.)
As it is, He found no one.
And then we get to verse 31.

"Thus I have poured out My indignation on them; I have consumed them with the fire of My wrath; their way I have brought upon their heads," declares the Lord GOD.

The sadness of this circumstance consumes me.
The LORD was looking for someone who would stand in the gap before Him. Someone who would agonize over the sin of the land and beg Him for mercy, so He would not destroy it. HE was looking for someone who cared!!!
And He found no one.
No.One.
Oh! Does that fact break your heart like it breaks mine?
And does it stir your heart for the United States like it stirs mine?
If we were to record the ways our rulers have despised the things of God, the lewd acts done by our slanderous men, the lives destroyed by present-day false prophets, the violence done to God's law by our "men of the cloth", and the dishonest gain amassed by our fine young men *ahem* - I fear the list would be very, very long.
But if - per chance - God still has an ounce of mercy in His heart for us, if He hasn't come to the end of His longsuffering patience toward us, if He will still forgive and is searching the land for someone who will build up the wall and stand in the gap?
Oh, LORD, here I am!!!
Please hear my cries for this nation.

It's Time to Turn

So, this was on my mind yesterday and I posted about it on Facebook:

One friend posts about the atrocities of the New York decision to allow babies to be aborted up to birth - and I am reminded how wicked we are as a nation.
Scroll down a couple posts.
I see another friend asking for prayer for our soldiers, federal employees going without paychecks, understanding from landlords/bankers with first-of-the-month payments soon coming due, end to the turmoil so many are facing right now - and I am reminded how desperate we are as a nation.
Wicked.
And desperate.
Not a good combination, if you ask me.
We shun Him, but we need Him!
America, wake up!
We need to humble ourselves, pray and seek God's face, and turn from our wicked ways. Holding on to wickedness is not going to ease our desperation!

The thing is, we have people so eager to seek God's help in the midst of our suffering - but not so many recognizing our need to repent and turn to Him in humbleness of heart. And the more I think of this paradox the more I realize: we simply cannot have it both ways.
Our world today seems very quick to make the need known and expect it to be met. Whether it's praying for furloughed federal employees, asking for physical healing, or seeking comfort in the midst of sorrow - people seem quite adept at wanting God's help. Even if they may not necessarily believe in or look to Him in other times.
(Please know, I am not saying it is a bad thing to seek God when we are in need. He knows we need Him. We were made to need Him. He is not afraid of our needs. It isn't bad to seek the fulfillment of our needs in Him. Hang on with me to process the whole thought...)
However, our world today also seems very slow to acknowledge God as more than an answer-er of our prayers. For the most part, we go after what WE want. We do the things that please US. The things which make OUR lives convenient or comfortable or care-free. Rather than worshipping the One who gave us life, we worship life and all it's pleasures - sacrificing hope at the altar of SELF. We have lost sight of
(or never had it to begin with) God's holiness, and the response to Him we ought to have - of reverent fear and awe.
And I cannot help but wonder, Why? Why would a holy God answer the prayers of a people who disregard Him - His righteous standards, who openly and proudly mock Him with their laws and policies, who profane Him with their words and actions, but who seek Him when times are troublesome? WHY???

Friends, God's grace is amazing.
His love is eternal.
But we have to surrender to Him and His ways if we want to receive that grace and love.
We cannot have it OUR way if we want HIS blessing.
It's time to turn.