I'm Desperate!

Does that sound bad?

It's true!

I have just finished going through Kathy Troccoli's book Live Like You Mean It with my friend. The last chapter is called "Be a Desperate Woman," and in this chapter Kathy talks extensively about our need for God and His ability to do anything. She writes, I am completely desperate without Him. I sink without Him. Is that weakness? Yes. I am so weak without Him and his presence and guidance. I must get up every day and hold on to hope. Being desperate is something to celebrate because of the position it puts me in with the tender, generous, romantic Lover of my soul. Living a life of passion, romance, and adventure is about panting for God out of sheer desperation so He can satisfy my deepest longings.
And oh, how deep are my longings! God made me a hungry, thirsty, needy woman. He made all of us that way so that we would seek out His richest fare, as if our lives depended on it - because they do. (p. 170-171)
Since Amber and I discussed this chapter the other day, I have been intentional in my thinking about the fact I am desperate. I need Him every moment.
And, as if my own efforts to think about this reality weren't enough, my kids nailed it for me yesterday. Sometimes (OK, a lot of the time!) I am at a loss for what to do with them. I want to raise them well, and train them on the right path. I want to teach them to be respectful and honorable. I want to instill in them the importance and value of obedient behavior. I want them to grow up to be self-controlled, responsible adults. I also want to remember they're kids and it's OK for kids to be loud, and goofy, and obnoxious (a little!) and, well, kids!
Finding the balance between these two worlds (training them and still letting them be kids) is really hard for me. So as I was making my way through the day yesterday I was praying a lot, admitting my desperation to God and begging Him to lead me as I raise these children. I so want to do it right. More and more I am aware of the fact I'll never get it right on my own. I need Him every moment.
Finally, this morning in church we sang Breathe. Perhaps you're familiar with it, and you know the chorus...I stood there in His presence declaring the very thing that's been on my mind the past couple of days. I'm desperate for You!

That's the truth. I'm desperate. I'm a desperate mother and, yes, a desperate housewife! And I am not ashamed to admit it because I know He made me this way - to need Him - and because His power is made perfect in my weakness.