Friday, September 30, 2011

Lessons From the Edge

Sometimes it's hard to face another day.

I talked to B this week and saw this lesson in full color. He was in the hallway looking lost, so I stopped to ask if he needed any help. B looked up at me and said he didn't want to be here anymore. And I knew the "here" to which he was referring wasn't his wheelchair, or the hallway, or even Edgewood. He told me he doesn't know where he is half the time, and he's lonely because his family hardly ever visits, and he's tired of the aches and pains. I've heard him say these things before, but this time he seemed more sure of his feelings. The fact of the matter is, B is tired of living here on Earth.
I knealt down in front of B, grabbed his hands, and said, "Let's pray."
B thanked God for his many blessings, and I prayed for B's heart. I asked God to bring him peace, and to buoy him with hope for the day when the confusion, the loneliness, the pain, and every tear will be no more.
Sitting there with B, seeing the tears running down his cheeks, I realized I cannot understand the extent of his feelings. I cannot comprehend what it must be like - feeling trapped in a body that hurts, and which cannot do the things it used to do. I can't imagine not wanting to wake up to live another day.
It's beyond me.
But that's right where B was sitting.

Sometimes it's hard to face another day.

Yet, we still have hope. Because there will come a day when all the confusion and loneliness and pain and EVERY tear will be no more.



Leah @ Point Ministries said...


God placed you right there for such a time as that. God bless you for taking the time to minister to B. The older I get (and I'm not all that old) the more I understand what B means. God bless B.

Irritable Mother said...

Leah - I trust He did.
My grandmother turned 94 two weeks ago and told me she hopes it is her last birthday. Seems like a sad perspective, but I'm learning to understand. Praying their HOPE stays alive!

TheUnSoccerMom said...

You are right where you need to be.

My Ma Gibbs wanted to live to be 90 and it's like after her birthday, she done and over it and wanted to be in heaven. She was excited about it. I just pray that after I've lived my time on earth, that I'm just as excited to start my life in heaven.

Irritable Mother said...

Jodi - Thanks for the affirmation. :o)