The Need to Get Away

Ahhh, tomorrow at this time I will be in Cleveland, Ohio settling into my hotel room and getting ready to enjoy attending the Women of Faith conference on Friday and Saturday.
Two years ago my husband was at a conference for work and somehow he managed to find himself in a hotel room all by himself for three days. When he called to tell me about it, he was actually disappointed at the lack of a roommate. I, on the other hand, thought my husband was the luckiest person in the world! As I considered his situation further I began to think, Hey, if Brian can be gone and in a hotel room for a few days by himself, why can't I? And I began to do a little research on the Internet.
I discovered the Women of Faith conference was coming to Michigan in five weeks. I checked out the details of hotels and costs, and when Brian got home I presented him with my proposal. How about I go away by myself for a few days, Honey??? I had just served on a jury (for a triple murder case. Eewww!) and had a garage sale, so it was easy for me to say how I'd pay for the conference. Brian agreed right away and I began the count down.
I had such a great experience at the conference and I have such a wonderful husband, that we decided I could make the Women of Faith conference an annual "Me Time" event. Women of Faith hasn't been back in Michigan since 2005, so last year and this year I'm attending in Ohio, but I don't mind. It just means more "Me Time" while I'm traveling!

So I've been looking forward to this event, at times reminding myself it's coming just so I can make it through particularly stressful situations at home. Like last Saturday.
I was deep in the trenches of mothering - with kids who wanted to sell snacks during neighborhood garage and yard sales. My kids and the neighbor kids set up shop at my brother's house two blocks away and I was there to monitor and make sure they didn't kill each other. (Which I fear they may have if I hadn't stepped in a time or two.) They started off really cute and were having fun. But as time wore on and the temperature rose, so did their tempers with one another. They got competitive and bossy. The little guy was annoying the bigger kids. One group didn't think it was fair that the other group had a certain table. The quarrelling escalated and they kept wanting me to resolve the fights. I wasn't biting.
Needless to say, after three hours when they had finally sold out of treats, I was more than ready to pack it up and bring every one home. But when we got home, my adult neighbors weren't home so I continued to have the responsibility of all the kids. And the kids continued with their bickering. Grrr.
When my husband got home I said, "Brian, I am ready to cry, and I'm not even PMSing!" He asked if I needed to leave for awhile. I think I was gone before he finished asking the question! I didn't get anything accomplished while I was out. Tried on some shorts and a few shirts, but didn't like anything. It didn't really matter to me, though. More than new clothes (which I really could use!), I just needed some of my own air to breathe.

That evening after we put the kids to bed I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items I needed for Sunday. As I was driving along and breathing deeply, enjoying the peace and quiet, I began to feel awful. I realized how relieved I was to be away from my kids, and I felt terrible for feeling so good. These children are gifts God has given to me. They are His creation. He loves them. I love them! How could I feel so good to be away from them? It was a terrible feeling and I was in tears by the time I got home.
Brian and I sat down to talk about it. He is a voice of reason for me and I am so thankful to God for my husband. As we talked Brian reminded me we're all adjusting to school being out for the summer and it was perfectly reasonable for me to be stressed after the day I'd had with all the kids. He reminded me I'm human - imperfect and needy in my own ways - and it's OK for me to enjoy time alone. I felt so much better after we talked.
A conversation I had the next day with my sister-in-law helped an awful lot, too. She suggested perhaps God uses these situations to alert me to my need to get away - to focus on Him, and enjoy His presence alone. I love how He speaks through my family to me!

So tomorrow I'm going away for a couple of days. I fully expect to be refreshed and renewed. From past experience, I know I'll be missing my family by Saturday afternoon and will be anxious to get home and hug them and tell them of the goodness of God I've seen while I was at the conference.
Yes. I need this time away for awhile. It is going to be a good thing, and I am going to enjoy every minute of it!