Thursday, January 07, 2010

What Did I Do to Deserve This???

OK. It's confession time.
Time to confess the not-at-all-like-Christ attitude I was harboring recently.

In one evening:
Brian asked me to make granola for his clients as a Christmas gift. He wanted me to get the ingredients, figure out packaging, and put it all together. And I was thinking, Are you going to ever THANK me for all the things I do for you? Why do I have to do this stuff?
Joshua had a hole in his sweatshirt and wanted me to sew it up. And he wanted the shirt washed. In time for him to wear to school the next day. And I wondered, Am I your slave? Why do I have to answer your every beckon call?
Matthew was walking down the stairs with me, carrying his basket of laundry. He was "eeewww"ing about his smelly laundry, and I was thinking, Yeah. And I'm the one who gets to sort and wash and fold it. What did I do to deserve this?

Oh, how quickly Jesus put my attitude in check!
I remembered the grace He has given me through salvation. He lived a sinless life and took my sin upon Himself when He died on the cross, that I might be reconciled to God when I confessed my sin and asked Jesus to be my Savior.
I remembered the grace He gives me every day. He is my Strength when I am weak. He gives me courage to do the right thing when I am afraid. He comforts me when I am sad. He forgives me again and again when I go my own way. He is so patient with me while He is teaching me His way.
I remembered that His grace is sufficient. He knows all my needs and meets them perfectly, as He knows best. God never takes His eyes off me. He never leaves me alone. He is my Protector, my Provider, my Redeemer, my Best Friend. His grace is amazing, and He pours it out on me.

And as God renewed my understanding of His grace - in the midst of my pity party and sour attitude - it was as if He dared me to ask the question of Him. God, what did I do to deserve this?


I did absolutely nothing to deserve the grace of God in my life.

Yet, He gives it freely. Every day. Oh, Lord, my God, thank You for Your amazing grace in my life. I am so in need of it! Please help me each day to extend grace to this family with whom You have blessed me.



Proverbs 27:19 said...

Girl, yes!


Irritable Mother said...

Back atcha, Larie!

Mary said...

Seems like we run on the same wavelength. ;)

Great post and I'm right there with ya! Have a wonderful day!

xxx M.

Leah said...

SOOOOOOO often I find myself having that same attitude with my husband. Then God yanks me up by the hair of my head and gives me an attitude adjustment!!

When will I learn??


My ADHD Me said...

You hit home with this. Especially with the "need it the next day".

I suppose it is normal to have those "what did I do to deserve this" feelings. Maybe Jesus even felt that way when he was praying at Gethsemane.

I am so thankful for God's grace and am so thankful that He doesn't give us what we DO deserve.

KelliGirl said...

I soooo need to be reminded of this. Maintaining a servant attitude is not my strong say the least.

I, like you, am so thankful for his grace. New mercies every morning.


Irritable Mother said...

Mary - It sure does. Maybe that's why I like you so much. *grin*

Leah - I'm a slow learner, too. And so very thankful for God's patience with me!

My ADHD Me - If I got what I really deserve? That would be horrific!
Have you heard the statement about grace and mercy? Grace is getting what you DON'T deserve, and mercy is NOT getting what you DO deserve.
I am so thankful for them both!

Kelli - Glad this spoke to you where you needed it today!

Patricia/NYC said...

Great reminder!! I love the line in your comment above:

"Grace is getting what you DON'T deserve, and mercy is NOT getting what you DO deserve."

Writing THAT one down!!

Have a great day!

luvmy4sons said...

Jesus said that the greatest among us are the servants. And nothing like realizing this as you serve. It is so hard to do! You are not alone. Thousands of moms every day have those exact same thoughts. Thank you for your transparency and for pointing to Jesus. We must work as unto the Lord not as unto men! Hugs!

gianna said...

I was just thinking the other day about how much i still care about MYSELF. yes, i work hard for my family, BUT it's not happily and it's ALWAYS with the attitude of i-deserve-something-nice-for-myself-and-i-am going-to-whine-until-i-get-what-i-want.
i love your honesty. and i am also ashamed of my selfishness. i'm glad i'm not the only one who struggles with it, but being a wife and a mom is ALL about selflessness. we need to tell people that before they get married and before they have kids.

AmberRay said...

Thank you for this. I will keep myself in check too. I have felt this way before too.

Irritable Mother said...

Patricia - It's a good one to remember.

Leslie - It is ALWAYS good to know we are not alone. You have been such an encouragement to me in that department!

Gianna - Yes! That should be on the application we all fill out before we consider marriage or parenthood.
Actually, there are a number of secrets that we should tell unsuspecting "pre-mothers." LOL!

AmberRay - You're quite welcome. Glad you stopped by!

Angie Muresan said...

This is why I like you so much, Karen! You have such a sense of humor mixed in with that grace.

P.S. Guess what I found in hubby's glove compartment box??? Why, the giftcard enclosed card, of course! I am so very embarrassed! I will get it out in tomorrow's mail. Sorry!!! And I did ask myself: what did I do to deserve this?

Beth@Not a Bow in Sight said...

Amen! I've gotta remember that it is a privilege to serve my family...but that's hard to keep in mind sometimes :)

Edie said...

Guilty as charged! That is a strong conviction too. :)

Mari said...

Such a great reminder! I find myself falling into those pity party moments (or days!) and I will remember this to combat those times!

Irritable Mother said...

Angie - The funny thing is, I wondered if I should ask you about the giftcard. Cuz, ya know, it's a gift. And it just seemed weird to say, Where is it???
Don't be embarrassed. Remember, I'm all about grace. *grin*

Beth - It IS a privilege. And it IS hard to remember sometimes.
Amen, sister!

Edie - Forgiven by the blood of Jesus!

Mari - Yeah. Sometimes it's DAYS for me, too. *sigh*

gianna said...

karen, i LOVE how you respond to each person so "personally" (i know a bit redundant, but it's late, please forgive me)
i can see your heart in just that fact alone. you are such a caring person! and funny! okay, so when you come to mn, i gotta shake your hand. no! give you a hug. it may be difficult with this gigantic pregnant belly, but i am sure going to try!

Irritable Mother said...

Gianna - I forgive you. *grin*
And, yes! Only a hug will do. Difficult, or not.
I am soooo looking forward to meeting you. Tell that baby to "hang in there" until after the 13th!