Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Oh, but I DO Understand!

Do you remember being a kid?

I do!

But I'm pretty sure my son thinks I went right from the womb to adulthood. Because he keeps accusing me of not understanding. Usually his accusations are regarding the parent/pre-teen struggle. But lately they are also including his disappointment with football.
See, his coach isn't playing him very much in the games. When he is 'in,' he isn't seeing much action. And he is very disappointed. He sulks and complains, and when I try to encourage him in some way he brushes me off with another You don't understand comment.

Really?
Give me a minute to think about that.
Just kidding. It won't take that long!
Yeah.
*In fourth grade, I was the ONLY ONE on the basketball team who didn't make a basket for the entire season.
*In seventh grade, I was the ONLY ONE on the basketball team who didn't start a game.
*In ninth grade, my two best friends wrote me a really mean letter and...yeah.
*During my freshman year in college, I was the ONLY ONE in my vocal group who didn't have a solo in a concert for the entire year.

I could keep going, but I think that's enough.

Yes, my son. I DO understand disappointment. I understand feeling let down. I know what it's like to not feel 'good enough'. I've had my heart broken and my hopes dashed. I know it hurts.

And even though I have gotten over those disappointments, I've discovered adolescent disappointments can still hurt me. That is, it hurts this mom to see her son feeling let down and down-hearted.
Praying the One who created my son - the One who loves him even more than I do - will give me the words and the wisdom to share my hurts at the appropriate time. Praying He might use this circumstance to bond us closer together.

Karen

7 comments:

TheUnSoccerMom said...

I blew Christen's mind once after she told me: "you don't understand!". After she exclaimed that, I told her about a similar experience and how I felt and how it all worked out. She doesn't say "you don't understand" that much anymore. :o)

I know God gave me Christen for a special reason and I thank Him everyday.

gianna said...

It just hurts so much that it's hard to believe that anyone else could be going through the same thing (or went through the same thing!)

And HE doesn't understand what his blowing off his mother feels like!

O Mom said...

Ohh it does hurt to see our kids go through hard things, especially when they are things we remember ourselves going through. keep encouraging him, because sometimes they are listening even when they act like they're not!

mamajil said...

Oh this is so tough!! praying for you to have the wisdom and compassion to minister to your son and for your son to be comforted and strengthened through this experience

LisaShaw said...

Karen, I'm praying for your son even now and for your Mother's heart.

I "do" understand.

Love you.

Deirdre said...

Karen,
in SEVENTH grade Basketball I was the only one who played less than ONE minute. the whole season.

oh...and some news - I lost my job today.

Deirdre

Irritable Mother said...

Jodi - I remember thinking my mom didn't understand, either. May our children know that we really do remember!

Gianna - Yes. It is hard to believe that anyone else could understand our pain. But I'll keep trying to convince him...

O Mom - Thanks for the encouragement.

Mamajil - Thank you.

Lisa - You are a blessing to me!

Deirdre - The whole season? Really??? Wow.
Sorry to hear about your job!