Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The REAL Me?

I just spent the weekend with a group of women at the gIRL Gathering, talking about authenticity. Asking the question, am I the same person online as I am IRL? Who am I, REALLY?

Back at home, the question has been lingering.

Who am I, REALLY?

The gIRL who works at Edgewood - who loves the residents, who prays with them when they have a need, and who loves to bring joy into their lives - that's the REAL me.


The gIRL who is a mother to three wonderful children - who is doing her best to be faithful, who loves those kids more than words can convey, and whose heart is blessed by their hugs and kisses - that's the REAL me.


The gIRL who is a child of God - who trusts Him to care for her, who believes He knows what is best and is able to bring it about, and who loves just being in His presence - that's the REAL me.

Gee. That all sounds nice. Doesn't it?

But this is also true:

The gIRL who works at Edgewood - who sometimes feels inadequate to do the work, who questions her ability to have a job while also maintaining a home, and who wonders at least once a week if she's doing the right thing - that's the REAL me.


The gIRL who is a mother to three wonderful children - who doesn't know all the answers to their questions, who gets overwhelmed by the demands of adolescent attitudes and physical needs and 'places to go', and who sometimes wants to throw her hands up in the air and scream, "I QUIT!" - that's the REAL me.


The gIRL who is a child of God - who falls at His feet in tears begging for His mercy, who is desperate for His grace because she knows she can't make it in this world without Him, and who longs for the Day when she will be with Him forever ~ no more tears, no more confusion, no more angst, just HIM - that's the REAL me, too.

As I lay in bed Monday night thinking about this question, Who am I, REALLY? and pondering all these parts of the REAL me, I wondered how it can all be true. How can I be faith-filled and sweet, and also be uncertain and frustrated? How can both scenarios be true???

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Oh, I don't have the answer, but I know we can trust God to work it all together for good. He knows every part of you and me - the REAL 'us' - and still He loves us.
So, let us cling tightly to God. He is the one Sure and Steady thing in our lives. His REAL-ness is constant and unquestionable. Yes. We can trust Him!



Leah @ Point Ministries said...

My sweet friend, I think we all ponder these questions. I know that I do...every day. Am I the same person this week that I was in the prayer room at gIRL? I pray so.

You, my friend, are the real deal!!


Deirdre said...

I wanted so much to go to the gIRL event. But I was soooooo sick. Sinus infection. you wouldn't have wanted that as a part of the festivities. I was honored that you invited me. So please invite me next year.

Irritable Mother said...

Leah - Thank you.
The real deal. That is what I strive to be!

Deirdre - Are you feeling better NOW? I pray so!
I know they want to do another gIRL Gathering, and I will surely ask you to come! *grin*

TheUnSoccerMom said...

Oh yeah... I had one of those "REAL" me moments w/ my daughter this morning... and not the good kind of "REAL" me moments.

Thankful for a loving and forgiving God.

Patricia/NYC said...

A big "Amen", Karen!! You are NOT alone! ;)

And I am so glad to *know* the REAL you! :)

Hugs, my friend!!

gianna said...

You are the real deal! Totally! And I love that about you!

Runner Mom said...

I am in total agreement with the other are the real deal! We all ponder those questions. I'm just thankful for His grace on those days when I may be a little too real with my family!


Irritable Mother said...

Jodi - Thankful? Yes. Me, too!
So thankful that He loves and forgives the 'not the good kind of REAL me moments'.

Patricia - And I'm hoping one day that'll be IRL!

Gianna - It is my desire to be the real deal. To be sure.
It's just sometimes, I don't like and/or understand the REAL me. *sigh*

Susan - Thank you. I agree with you - without His grace there would be no hope.

mamajil said...

Great post thanks for making me think of who I Really Am! I have to stay so focused on the character of Christ and on who I am in Christ to remember who I really am....I think to know who we really are we need to always remember who we are in christ! In him we are redeemed, forgiven, healed,free from condemnation, established, anointed,a child of the light, a partaker of a heavenly calling, more than a conqueror, a chosen generation, a child of God who always triumphs in Christ,in Him I am saved by believers we need to remember who we REALLY are is what the word says not what we see and judge with our own eyes :D Does that make sense? I think when we go by what we see or feel we lose who we really are.... I love your blog and your posts thanks for making me think