So, this past Friday when I arrived at Cran-Hill for my retreat, I kinda felt like a little girl going to her friend's house to play. After I got settled in I wondered, What now? You know, like when kids get together and spend half their time trying to decide what to do?
So, God, I'm here. What do You want to do now? I'd been spending the past week thinking about Psalm 40:1, "I waited patiently for the LORD..." and that verse was running through my head at the moment. I asked Him, Do You want me to just wait for You?So that's what I did. I waited. And while I waited, I read through my journal. Entries going to over two years ago. That was a fun read!And it prompted me to start journaling about some of my dreams. I included this one about meeting my Compassion child, and others about meeting blog friends, and several which relate to speaking. It was wonderful time of surrender - trusting that GOD, Himself, will bring about the fulfillment of these dreams if it is His will.Nothing else matters. And then Saturday morning arrived.Something - make that SomeOne - lead me to read John 21:15-25 and I was drawn to verse 15. "Simon son of John, so you truly love me more than these?"I realize the "these" to whom Jesus was referring was the other disciples. Jesus was asking Peter if he loved Jesus more than the other disciples loved Jesus. But in that moment, it was as if He were asking me if I loved Him more than these. And it was very clear to me the "these" to which Jesus was referring when He spoke to my heart. I wrote in my journal,I felt like You were asking me - Karen, do you love me more than speaking? More than writing? More than the praises of man?And I say with confidnece, Yes, Lord! Yes, I do! I love you more. Truly, I do. I love You more than all of these!What a wonderful place God had brought me to. First, of waiting for Him, then of surrendering to Him, and finally - of being sure of my love for Him. That God really is the most highly treasured object of my love. HE is!And what about you, my friend? Do you love Him more than "these"? Is there anything competing for your devotion to the One who loves you endlessly? I pray you'll invite God to ask you this question, too.
3 comments:
Definitely a question we all need to answer! A very thought-provoking post, my friend. Thanks so much.
This question also came to me, but in a song: NeedToBreathe's "Slumber"
Particularly the lyrics:
"All these victims stand in line for, crumbs that fall from the table just enough to get by,
all the while your invitation."
basically, Jesus is asking me: do you love ME enough to receive all I have for you? or would you rather just get what's leftover from the world? Do you love ME more than the world? I give you the best, the world gives you whatever is left over.
Leah - You're quite welcome.
Jodi - It's sad that we even need to make such a choice, isn't it? Do you want the BEST, or the second-best? Should be a no-brainer. Unfortunately, it isn't always that way.
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