Thursday, March 22, 2012

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

...Thanks for showing me my flaws.

Does that sound backwards to you? I mean, Who wants to realize their own flaws???

I sure don't! But sometimes what I want - and what I need - aren't one and the same. And on those occasions, I usually find myself being thankful for backwards things. Like I am today.

You see, I was recently involved in an email conversation. In the midst of the conversation I was feeling judged. I felt like my ability to make good choices was being questioned. Honestly, I was feeling quite be-littled. And I didn't like it. Still, I was trying to be gracious in my responses.

Or, so I thought.

As I re-read my last response before I hit 'Send', I believe God caused me to pause and ponder when I got to my last sentence. My (surface)intention was to simply ask a question. And I asked it. But as I re-read the question, somehow God allowed me to see my heart in it. It was like He was giving me a mirror in which I could see what was below the surface of my question. I realized I was trying to point out that I thought I had a better way of doing something than did this person with whom I was corresponding.
At the same time I was feeling hurt because I felt she was calling my judgement into question, here I was - doing the same thing to her!

I was so ashamed. But very thankful to recognize my error before I passed it on. (Before I hit 'Send', I deleted that last question. It really wasn't necessary, anyway.)

Have you ever recognized a flaw in yourself, after you first noticed it in someone else? Kinda reminds me of that speck in your eye, plank in mine scenario. *blush*



The Laundress said...

You truly are an inspiration.

I see my flaws and perseverate on them... Obsession-like.

Irritable Mother said...

Janet - Thanks.
I am growing in this arena. God's grace is growing me. Because my natural tendency is to dwell on my flaws and beat myself up. *yuck*