I needed her to listen to me, and she needed me to get off her back.We all laughed when Kris made that statement. Kris was one of the speakers at the Captivating Retreat I attended last month and she was telling us a story about an adventure she'd had with her horse. As you can guess based upon what she said, Kris and her horse were having some challenging times. They were both frustrated, and though they obviously understood one another - their own desires were too great to give in to what the other wanted. As she spoke, I could feel the tension in Kris's heart because I'd just experienced a moment, er - a few days - like that with Joshua. So when she made that statement, "I needed her to listen to me, and she needed me to get off her back," I felt like God was speaking directly to my heart. Suddenly I was transported back to one of the episodes with Joshua when he wouldn't listen to me; when I was simply trying to show him the right way to do something, and he wouldn't listen. And I - in my *righteous* desire to have him obey, because that's what kids are supposed to do(!) - wouldn't let go. I kept riding him. But he needed me to get off his back. And there - in the unscheduled bliss of the retreat, where I was able to slow down and think - I could see the reality of that situation with my son. I realized my desire to have him "listen" was really a reflection of my desire for perfection. *I wanted him to do the job right. *I wanted Joshua to acknowledge that I know better than him how to wash greasy pans (or whatever it was we were bickering about that day...). *I wanted him to do the job the way I do the job. But he needed me to get off his back. And there - again, in the unscheduled bliss of the retreat, where I was able to slow down and think - God moved my heart. He convinced me to get off Joshua's back. Because my pride is NOT worth driving a wedge between my son and me. Ever. Thank You, JESUS, for opening my eyes!