Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Grace for Failure Moms

I received an email over the weekend from a mother of young children who is at her wits' end with all the things she needs to do. And as I was typing out my response to her I thought, "OK. This needs to be a blog post."
Because I believe the thing with which she is struggling is common to all women. Which one of us, if we are being honest, can say we are unable to relate to this statement I read in her email?

I am so overwhelmed and overworked. Some days I just want to cry. I can't do it all, and it is so hard when I can never catch up.

My kids were once 5, 3, and 1 - like hers are now - and I certainly remember having those feelings. And now that my children are 18, 16, and (almost)14? I still have those feelings!
But there is a difference now - even though I still get overwhelmed. And that difference is, I no longer feel like a failure for not being able to "do it all". I no longer feel like a failure because my kids, my home, and my self are not perfect.
The thing which brought me to this point is simple - even while being very hard for me to grasp.
It is GRACE.
*It is the realization that my kids, my home, and my self do not need to be perfect.
*It is the understanding that my Father is using these hard times I'm experiencing to create a beautiful me.
*It is the conviction that my identity and my self-worth are not dependent upon my ability to "do all things".
*It is the confidence that God will faithfully see me through every trial, every disappointment, every time I fall.
It doesn't make much sense to my logical, methodical way of thinking. But in God's economy, it is perfectly reasonable. HE imparts grace to me - to us - so "failure" may be taken completely out of our vocabulary.

Fellow mom, are you nodding your head in understanding of this need for grace?
Do you spend more time beating yourself up for your failures than you do believing that your kids are going to turn out just fine?
If so, please accept my invitation to explore grace today. I told you what grace means to me. What does it look like for you? Spend some time asking God to draw you a picture of grace.
I pray HE will give you the courage to believe and embrace it!



Anonymous said...

Oh yes, I so relate to feeling like a failure mom. I have been so discouraged at times. Sometimes it is because I compare myself to other moms (that seem to have it all together, but I am sure it just appears that way) and other times it is just because I am a perfectionist. It is so important for moms to share! Because nobody is perfect, we all got problems. Everything is in God's hands and all we can do is our best. I wish I would have gone to a support group when my kids were babies/toddlers(that was a real challenging time in my life). It so helps to be amongst others who are sharing their struggles. Which is one of the reasons I love your blog Karen, you are so real with your struggles. hugs***Chera

Karen Hossink said...

Chera - I am giving you a hearty Amen! to this statement: "Because nobody is perfect, we all got problems."
Indeed, we do. And I am so glad God allowed our paths to cross so we can share in His grace for our imperfections. ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

Yes, Karen! I am so glad our paths have crossed too. Sharing our struggles has really been a blessing for me. I never thought I would meet a friend on the internet and God showed me I was wrong, He brought me to you and Lynn :) It is really amazing. ((hugs))--Chera

Karen Hossink said...

Chera - Amazing, yes. I love that God can fill my heart with sincere love for people I've never even seen face-to-face. :)