Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Teens Need Mom, too. (Sometimes)

OK. All moms of teens out there are going to understand what I mean.
Those of you with babies, toddlers, and pre-schoolers are just going to have to trust me.

It is sweet to be needed.

Hold on. Those of you with extreme young'uns, I told you. You need to trust me on this one!
I remember well the days of my children being needy, needy, needy. The picture is still very clear in my head of how exhausted I was by the constant whining and calling of my "name". Mommy! Mommy! Mooooommmmmyyyyyy!
Oh, how many times I wanted to change my name to something, anything else.
But then something happened.
The little kids grew up to be big kids and started needing Mom less.
And at first, that was OK.
Great, even.
I enjoyed NOT having to put kids in car seats every time we went somewhere. I remember thinking it was so cool that they could buckle themselves into the car all.by.themselves.
Then there were the shoes. I was so proud of my children for learning to put them on without my help. Especially the ones they actually had to TIE. (Truth be told, both of my boys have figured out how to tie their tennis shoes ONCE, such that they can take them off and put them on without ever touching the laces again. *insert eye roll*)
More freedom came when the kids started getting their own breakfast and lunch. They simply didn't need Mom so much anymore. And it was delightful.
Because I didn't feel so overwhelmed by needs, needs, NEEDS.

But something happened which I hadn't expected. I began to feel useless. Like all anyone needed me for anymore was physical sustenance. You know, to get the groceries and make meals. And I found myself looking longingly at the mothers of young 'uns in the store who had to got to bundle up their children to take them outside, and who were asked for pennies so said children could ride the pony at Meijer. I looked at the little boy hugging tightly to his mommy's leg in the check-out lane, and the baby held to her mommy's side in a sling and thought, Isn't that precious?
And I realized I was missing being "needed".

Then Saturday happened.
My son (Who shall remain nameless - but you can probably figure out who he is, since I only have one licensed-driver-son. *wink*) called me in somewhat-of-a-panic.
He was lost, and "late".
(I subsequently learned that he wasn't late for work, rather he was late meeting friends to go fishing. Thus the panic in his voice. *ahem*) So I asked him to look for a street sign and then got on Mapquest to help him figure out where he was. It took a little time, but I was able to help him get turned around and on the right road so he could get where he wanted to go.
As we ended the conversation, I heard a very solemn and gracious, "Thanks, Mom." (Which may, or may not, have been followed by a sniffle. Which coulda' been allergies. I'm not sure.)
And as I hung up my phone, I smiled because I realized my son just needed me. And I got to help him.

It is sweet to be needed.
Because, these days? It doesn't happen that often.



Breeze said...

On her first day of 6th grade, I was walking my daughter up to the school doors to say, "good bye", chat w/ the other parents, etc. I asked, "Do you have your lunch? Do you have your snack? Did you grab a jacket?" Every question was met w/ "yup". I sort of wilted and said, "Well, sounds like you don't really need me anymore." She said, "I need you, Mom. Just not for this." Bittersweet. :)

Karen Hossink said...

Breeze - What an absolutely wonderful response from your girl. *heart swell*