Friday, August 28, 2015

This Week with Grandma

*heavy sigh*

It's really hard for me to let things go sometimes.

And this week I have learned that letting go doesn't necessarily get easier with age.

Last weekend we took a short vacation to enjoy some family time before Elizabeth went back to Wheaton. I had planned for Grandma to stay at home with a couple different people, but the plans fell through and she ended up going to a local care facility from Thursday afternoon until Sunday evening. And, let's just say, she did not have a good experience there.
At all.
In fact, she said if the need ever arises again - she'd rather stay home alone than go back there.
Then she said, "Let's just not talk about it anymore."
And I was only too happy to oblige.

The thing is, within the next day or two she was talking about her experience again. Followed with her resolve to not talk about it anymore. Except that - she keeps bringing it up.
While it's true she's almost 98, her mind is good. So I don't think she's talking about last weekend because she doesn't remember she's been talking about it already. It just seems to be weighing heavily on her mind. And it makes me sad to see her re-living unpleasantness over and over.

I wonder: Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we keep rehashing things we'd rather forget? And, more importantly, How do we put an end to it?


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