Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A Letter to my Son

Dear Joshua,
I am sorry we were fighting on the way to school this morning. I don't like fighting with you and I wish we never did it.
However, I know we cannot avoid conflict. I know you will not like everything I say or some of the things I require of you. And I understand, Joshua. Remember - I was a child, too. I didn't like a lot of the things my mom said, either. Believe me - I understand you!
But now that I am the mom, I also understand that my mom was trying to do what was best for me. She had knowledge and experience that I did not have, and she was trying to help me walk on the best path. That's what I am trying to do for you. That's my job as your mom.
Joshua, I am not perfect. I won't do everything "right" as a mom. But I will always love you. You can count on that!
Love,
Mom


I wrote this letter to my son and put it on his desk when I got home from walking him to school.
After school we walked home together in peace, and I didn't mention the letter I had left in his room. Upon arriving home, I needed to leave right away to take my other son to the doctor's.
As we were pulling into the driveway after the appointment, Joshua and my husband were pulling out - on their way to a Boy Scout camping event. Didn't even know if Joshua had seen the letter, or not.

Until...

I went to bed that night and found a note on my pillow. It said:
Sorry for the conflict as well. I hope we don't get in another fight. :) Love u!
Love, Joshua


Needless to say, I went to bed smiling that night.

Oh, I know there will still be conflicts between us. But God has given me a tremendous peace recently as He has helped me understand more about mothering. I'm still processing, but I will certainly share about it here one day!

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11 comments:

ThreeGirlyGirls said...

what a great moment....my 8 year old girly and I leave notes for eachother and they are the most cheerished things in my life with her! you are a great mom!!!

luvmy4sons said...

I have told my sons before that I have to make decisions they will thank me for when they are thirty and not three or thirteen. Being a mom can be so difficult, but having their hearts is so wonderful. And you most definitely have your son's heart. Your precious love for him shines through...and he obviously knows that. Good job mom! Keep up the good work...

Stacey said...

The same thing has happened with my 9 year old daughter and I. Very sweet moments :) (The letters, not the fighting!) It's such a neat way to see the heart of our children. You're doing a great job showing Jesus to your kids :)

God's girl said...

Thanks for sharing your "moment" with us, giving us hope for our own "moments":) You're a blessings.

Love ya, Heaven

My ADHD Me said...

Don't you just LOVE it when things go like that!?! Being a mom is hard work. We want so badly to be their friend.....but they have friends....we need to be their mom.

Most of my mom-mistakes have been from doing what a friend would do, instead of doing what a mom should do.

Glad you like the Tuesday Special Guest. I never think of him when I mention my favorite artists, but every time I hear or see him I remember what an incredible showman he is and THAT TALENT!! wow.

My kids are really into music. I've tried to teach them that even if you don't like the "genre" (generational word) of the music....at least give the artist a chance to see his talent. After all, my kids have lots of musical talent, but most people don't care for (ok, really despise) their genre. I actually heard them comment on the incredible talent of the classical composers. Wow. They listened!

Have a great day....at the Copa, Copacabana...

luvmy4sons said...

Thanks for your comment. I hope I did not imply anything harsh with my post. I left a comment after yours...at my place. Thanks for drawing attention to an implication that I did not mean to make!

Leah said...

How precious!! You are a super mom!!

Leah

Proverbs 27:19 said...

Karen that was very good of you to apologize to Joshua first, then express your feelings, next telling him why you have to tell him things by providing an example from your childhood and finally admitting your imperfection to him.

WOW!

Keep it up Karen, you're awesome!

smooches,
Larie

kreed said...

What a great outcome - I must admit that my fights with my daughter don't always have such a nice outcome.

Mrs. Sidney said...

That brought tears to my eyes... what a great idea to leave him a note.

Awesome!!

Amanda said...

What a blessing! I was flipping through the channels today while nursing Audrey and came accross General Hospital...the character was freaking out because her kid was in the hopsital for some reason and even though she just left there, she had to go back and Make Him Know how much she loved him!! She was desperate.

I got to thinking about how chilren who grow up knowing Christ and in a home with His love are so lucky. Even though we tell our kids we love them all the time... I truly believe they alos just KNOW it. They feel it. They have reassurance because they are SO loved in Christ.

Kinda random...but your sweet letters made me think about how good love can feel.... not the desperate froced love the world sometimes tells us we need.

Anywho!

God bless-
Amanda