Thursday, June 04, 2009

But Jesus Cares

If you haven't read yesterday's post, you'll probably want to. This one will make a lot more sense if you have the full story!

So, there I was at church, wearing my wig and hating it. Even though the wig was cute, I felt ugly. I knew what I looked like underneath and I was miserable.
The thing is, my sad feelings were intensified by the fact that I understood: The lack of hair really didn't matter. I knew that was true, thus the reality that I felt so bad about it made me feel even worse.
And when the worship leader prompted us to quiet down and encounter God, in my mind I found myself huddled down on my knees, weeping.
I wept for my insecurities, and I wept for my inability to "get over it."
I wept because I was so sad.

And then I noticed something by my head.

There were feet.

Someone was standing by me!

And when I looked up, I saw Who it was.

Jesus was standing there looking at me. But His eyes weren't saying, Get over it, Karen.
He reached down and rubbed the stubble on my head, and He touched my shoulder. And even though my tears were for something that really didn't matter, everything about Jesus in that moment spoke this very clear message: I care.

The concern of my heart at that moment had absolutely no eternal consequence.
But I was sad and insecure, and Jesus cared!

And with that realization - which did have eternal consequence - my tears flowed for real.
Jesus cares about my heart!
That Truth carried me for days and days, and still does whenever I remember that encounter.

Which brings us back to Joshua's request for sunless tanning lotion, and my position that a white belly just doesn't matter. My husband thought it would be OK to get the lotion for Joshua and I reluctantly agreed. But then the Spirit of God reminded me of the incident I just described here, and I realized another important Truth.

Jesus cares about Joshua's heart.

And because I am the hands of Jesus to my son, I need to reflect His care.
Because I want Joshua to see Jesus in me, I need to reflect His care.
Because I want to point Joshua to Jesus at all times, because I want Joshua to understand that he can go to God with every concern which burdens his heart, I need to reflect His care.
So I bought that tanning lotion for Joshua. And as I rubbed it on his belly and his back I prayed for my son. Prayed that he would grow in confidence of who he is in Christ. Prayed he would know the Father's love for him. Prayed he would be convinced of my love for him, too.
I truly enjoyed the opportunity to have my hands on him and pray. And because Joshua is always willing to have his back rubbed, he seemed to be enjoying the process as well.

In the end, the lotion made a very slight difference. At least Joshua didn't have a shocking white belly when he went on the field trip. But I am certain the factor of greater importance is that Joshua had his feelings validated. In ten years he likely won't care what color his tummy was when he went swimming with his fifth grade buddies.
But I pray he will remember that his parents cared about his feelings.
And I pray he will be confident of Jesus' perfect care for him.

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luvmy4sons said... will...I hope you shared your story with him as you rubbed! God bless you!

Daveda said...

absolutely! You are right, it isn't always what their asking for that matters in the long run. It's the fact that we cared about them, that we care about what matters to them and that we take the time to say yes to their hearts. Great Post!

Leah said...

What a stunningly beautiful post!! I love the way Jesus cares about US, about everything that concerns us! He truly is our best friend! Thanks for sharing this. It encourages me in my season of change.


Jerralea said...

Karen, that is a beautiful story. I had tears in my eyes reading it. I love that Jesus cares about what WE care about, even if it doesn't have eternal significance.

And thanks for the reminder that as parents showing that we care about what our kids are concerned with shows Jesus in us.

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

Just found your blog and I absolutely love it! I will have to follow so I can keep up with you. You exude amazing strength and love and I look forward to getting to know you better.

In His Grip,

My ADHD Me said...

I really enjoyed these past 2 posts. It is a story I can truly relate to, as I find myself feeling the way you did regarding my weight. Some days you just feel so ugly. You KNOW your true friends and family won't care and probably won't notice, but sometimes you can't help yourself.

Ronel Sidney said...

What a great example of showing Jesus' love to your son through your actions.

Chatty Kelly said...

Amen & amen! I think validating our kids feelings are SO important, and I think you made the right decision about the tanner. :-)

Mary said...

What a wonderful post! Thank you for sharing. Sometimes it's hard to grasp that Jesus PERSONALLY cares about me. I know it but to really wrap my brain around it takes effort some days.

Bless you!

Anonymous said...

love it - love you - love Jesus

Amanda said...

Such a powerful thought process here Karen... I (of course) was brought to tears thinking of you kneeling at Jesus' feet.. and then, subsequently, me kneeling there.

Youa re so right on with this!!

Many blessings-

God's girl said...

wow, these past two posts shook the way I think about my kid's "silly" requests. Thank you Karen for sharing your honest and real life encounters with the One who really does care. I pray I will be reminded of this the next time one of my children requests for me to really hear what their hearts are saying...