Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Confessions

I confess, LORD.
I want it to be easy!
This was my confession after I sat in silence - having just prayed again that God would bring peace into this home. Especially between Joshua and me.

You see, the other night I watched a show which got me thinking. In it, a daughter and her father were reconciling - having just seen each other for the first time in I don't know how many years, upon the discovery that the father was dying. (Is this ringing a bell for any 24 fans? We're going through season 7 with Netflix. I still have a feeling Jack is somehow going to pull through. I mean, he is Jack Bauer! Please don't tell me how it ends. LOL)
Anyway the daughter - in tears - apologized for her immature ways and all the wasted years. And I couldn't help but have a ray of hope for the day when my son will look back and realize that for all his growing up years I have been doing my best to be a good mom. Couldn't help but long for the day when he recognizes that he was being immature, when he apologizes for the unkind ways he spoke to me and treated me.
But as I thought about it further I realized, I don't want to wait in hope for regret.
No.
I want to enjoy peace right now.
I want to have a loving relationship right now.

So I put that prayer into high gear, and just hoped God would answer.

He did.

With a question.

Why?

Which prompted my confession.

And as I sat there in the presence of the One who loves me tenderly, He spoke to my heart. It sounded something like this:
Karen, darling, do you trust Me? You always say My ways and My timing are perfect. Do you really believe it?
Do you truly believe that I am using the struggles you have as a mother to make you into the woman I want you to be? You say that all the time. Do you really believe it?
Because it's true, dear one.
These struggles with your children are part of My perfect plan. I am teaching you to trust Me, even when it doesn't make sense to you. I am shaping your character. I want you to learn how to choose joy, peace, love - even when the circumstance calls for something else.
I know this is hard for you, Karen. But if every day were an easy day, how would you grow? Darling, you would forget your need for Me. And then, when difficulty arose you would be crushed.
If I only allowed ease into your life, there would be no depth to your character. No strength to your spirit.
And I love you too much to do that to you.
So, darling, I want you to cling to Me through the hard times. I know you want peace. I want that for you, too. And you may have it. You must choose it.
Remember, I will be your Strength.


And now I'm wondering, is He speaking a similar thing to you today?


Karen

17 comments:

Leah @ Point Ministries said...

Oh yes! Oh yes!! Yes, yes, yes!! I think sometimes He gets tired of reminding me that He knows what He is doing!

Thanks for sharing your real life with us.

Leah

Irritable Mother said...

Leah - Does He get tired of it? I'm not sure. But I know I am thankful for His patience with me.
Need to learn from Him and be more patient with my children!

luvmy4sons said...

Amen...oh Amen!

Servant of the Most High said...

Hi,

Here's a blog that serves for your spiritual needs, and will surely be a blessing for you.

It has messages from the Holy Scriptures, taught by the Spirit of God.

These messages teach us how to have God in all the aspects of our lives and have God's rule over every matter :

www.holyoneofisrael-reconciliation.blogspot.com

Have a blessed reading and gladly write back if you need any prayer help.

God bless you and your family.

Jerralea said...

Thanks for writing this. I especially needed to hear that my parenting struggles are not only to perfect my child, but are necessary to make me into what He wants me to be!

Patricia/NYC said...

Is He speaking a similar thing? He is SHOUTING it to me!!! lol!!!

Seriously, I am going through this VERY THING right now...thanks for this, Karen!! It really helps!!

Hugs, my friend!!
Patricia

Irritable Mother said...

Leslie -I KNEW you would understand. *grin*

Servant - Thank you.

Jerri - Yep. We're growing, too!

Patricia - Somehow, God's shouts are so much better than our own. Amen?

Proverbs 27:19 said...

I am always impressed by your communication with God and that you share it unreservedly with us!

smooches,
Larie

Irritable Mother said...

Hi Larie - God is so good to me, and I want to share!

O Mom said...

I can't even begin to tell you how He is speaking this same thing to me. Only my prayer is for my husband. God has shown me more than once, that I might not be in this same place of need and want and desperation for Jesus if my marriage had been all roses........even though it kind of hurts to hear that. And the trusting Him and having Faith in Him, well if I understood it all, then I guess I wouldn't need that trust and faith, would I?
Praying for you. :)

gianna said...

He speaks to me about this EVERYDAY! So no! You are not alone!

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

Needed this today sweet friend!

Jan said...

I was just listening to a Joyce Meyer program today that had a similar message. She was using a pruning sheers on a tree...and playdoh being pressed into a mold that wouldn't fit. Great examples. He is always working on us...thank goodness.

Irritable Mother said...

O Mom - Exactly! I have often thought that same thing. If I understood, I wouldn't need to trust.
He knows what we need!

Gianna - I'm glad. *grin*

Beth - Glad you stopped by!

Jan - Yes, He is. And I'm so glad He knows what is best for us.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

First, so glad to see your a Jack fan! We are too! We only came into the story last year and, over the summer, watched all the previous seasons until this new one started. Don't worry, I won't spoil anything.

Anyway, I've always said that my kids will be my perfection in the end; the jury's still out on that one. I feel as if I've gotten the first two well on their way to being the men God created them to be (both now in college), and the younger two? Well, some days, like you, I wonder.

About 8 months ago, God and I had a heart-to-heart... something about my faith matching with my writing/speaking, etc. I realize that I was falling quite short in the faith department and began a lengthy pursuit towards deepening my faith. God has been faithful (as he always is), to bring about ample situations to refine me along these lines.

The jury's still out on this as well, but I can tell you, my faith is bigger now than it was 8 months ago. Who knows what the next 8 will hold? Less testing? That would be ago, but as you said, faith grows with the testing as we come ever closer to having it made sight and we walk in final perfection forever.

Hang on, Karen. You're doing a great job.

peace~elaine

Sal B said...

Thank you for posting this! I struggle with this all the time. I pray certain things, but do I really believe or mean them? It's so hard to just let go and trust our God. I just thank Him immensly that He is so patient and loving with His children! We sure are blessed!

Irritable Mother said...

Elaine - My family watched the rest of the season without me. Can you believe it??? I hear there's still hope for Jack. LOL
I know without a doubt that my faith in God, my love for Him, my trust in Him - all of it is so much greater because of the testing He's allowed in my life. And that's a good thing.
Do I enjoy the tests?
No way!
But God has given me hope in them, and He is teaching me to see Him in the middle of them. As you said, God is so faithful, and I am growing to trust His love for me more each day.
Thanks for your encouraging words.

Sal - I thank Him for that, too. Where would I be if His patience level with me was like mine is with my children? Oh, I have so much to learn!