Thursday, April 08, 2010

When He's Sleepy

So, I told you Monday a little more about the struggle I have with Joshua. Some days are really rough!
But a few days ago, after we had gone through some very trying moments and it was almost time for bed, I received a gift.
And a dose of hope.
Joshua wanted to go straight to bed, rather than wait for Elizabeth and Matthew to be ready for our family prayer time. But I asked him to stay. Told him he could lay on the couch for a few minutes.
As he did, I walked over to him, sat down, and started scratching his back. Then I rubbed his shoulders and arms. Ran my fingers through his hair and massaged his scalp. And while I was touching Joshua, I was also praying for him.

It was amazing.
This child - who was so upset with me earlier in the evening that he wouldn't even look at me, let alone allow me to hug him - was now like puddy in my hands.
And I was loving every minute of it.

Yes. Sometimes tempers flare and feelings get hurt.
But when he's sleepy, when he doesn't have the energy to argue with me, when he's too tired to push me away, I will grab the opportunity to pour my love out on him.
And even though he's only half-awake, I pray he'll remember these moments fondly.



luvmy4sons said...

Wow. A moment to treasure for sure. There is NO WAY my sons after the age of 13 would ever let me touch them that much. You are a great mom!

2Thinks said...

I remember some tough times like the ones you describe. We tended to shrink away and let him work it out in his room- alone. Sometimes I'd go back and go in to sit and try to talk with him or just be silent in there with him- but not often enough. I regret now that I didn't work even harder at reaching him every time.

Keep doing the hard thing- reaching out in love and truth whenever you possibly can.

Irritable Mother said...

Leslie - Thanks. I don't usually feel like a 'great mom,' but I'm taking your words as a blessing.

Heidi - Sometimes I have to let Joshua go away by himself, too. But as much as I can (without pushing him away) I want to let him know how much I love him.
And when he's sleepy, it's a lot easier. *grin*

O Mom said...

That is so beautiful.

Patricia/NYC said...

WHat a beautiful, blessed moment! And I truly believe these are the moments are children will hold close & treasure also!

God's girl said...

That's awesome. Making me tear up as I think of my oldest son. He can clash with me in so many ways, but at the end of the day, "Mom, will you tuck me in?" which includes prayer, and rubbing his back. That's a long way to come from a good year of him not wanting me to touch him in any way, shape, or form. Thanks for reminding me to cherish those moments despite what I may be feeling at the moment.

Big hugs! Heaven

Irritable Mother said...

O Mom - I think so, too. *grin*

Patricia - I often pray, God, please let him remember THIS moment. Let him forget what happened an hour ago, and let him remember right now.
I know God will use the dark moments for good, too. But that mother in me wants my son to just remember the good stuff. *sheepish grin*

Heaven - There's just something about bedtime, ya know? When the body is tired and the defenses are down...Ah, what a gift!

gianna said...

It's cool that God made a way for you to "forget" your feelings and love on your son. not hold anything against him and LOVE him. Sometimes it's so hard for me to love on Maya or Brin when they have made me so mad earlier in the day. what a blessing for Joshua AND for YOU!

On Purpose said...

Just wanted you to know...I am lifting praise and thanking God for you right are a precious, and powerful and effective kingdom builder...and I rejoice for knowing you! Keep knowing you are loved and loving..because you do it so beautifully!

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

OH, what a sweet and tender moment with your precious boy! I still love those times with my girls even though they are grown and on their own. I still smile when I get a text message from my 20 year old (who is a mom of 2 herself) that reads "I luv you mommy!" - I'll always be mommy - no matter how old she gets..

Irritable Mother said...

Gianna - And how thankful I am that God forgets what I have done, and pours His love out on me. So thankful for the blood of my Savior, and how it impacts the way God sees me.

Nichole - Thank you. Thank you, so much!

Beth - Ahhh. *grin*
My daughter still calls me mommy, too. She'll be 14 next week. Wondering if I'll still be 'mommy' when she's 20.

Angie Muresan said...

I am tearing up. Yes, a moment he will remember wherever he is in life.

Deirdre said...

there is a sermon in there Karen.

Irritable Mother said...

Angie - I hope so!

Deirdre - I hadn't thought of that... Will let God mold it, maybe into a talk one day.

Sara K. said...

I thought of this post yesterday afternoon when I was playing with my 4-year-old son, sitting up in the "club house" of the swingset in our backyard... letting him lay his head on my lap as the sun glinted in his golden hair... HOW GLAD I was to *recognize* that moment and *relish* in it!! :)