God sees. And that's really what matters.
I just had my anniversary at Edgewood, which meant it was time for my annual review. So my boss and I sat down Monday to talk about my work performance. For the most part, things went as I expected they would. BUT there was one category on which we didn't see eye to eye. At all.
While Laura admitted she doesn't see me much (The Activity Room is waaaaaay far off from the main office, and Laura is rarely in my part of the building.) she expressed concern that I am focused only on 'Activities' and that I don't pitch in much with other aspects of Edgewood. At which point it was all I could do to keep from standing to my feet and
yelling asking loudly, "Are you kidding me???"
I could have spent an hour telling her about the things I do around the building and for the residents which have absolutely nothing to do with 'Activities'. Instead I did my best to calmly give her my perspective on her opinion, and I shared one example. She was gracious enough to say she may have had a mis-perception. *Uh, yeah.*
We had a decent conversation about the matter, and I was glad for it. Still, part of me was quite put-off that she thought I was so self-focused and self-serving.
It was later that same day as I was helping a resident with something when the thought came to me,
I wish Laura could see me now. I wish she saw that I am serving this resident in a way which has nothing to do with my job! Then it was as if God spoke these words to me,
I see you.
And I knew in an instant it didn't matter if Laura saw me. God sees everything. HE is the One I am ultimately serving. HE is the One for whom I do everything I do. HE is the One. And HE sees.
Oh, I know this lesson is true, but I need to keep on repeating it to myself until my heart agrees with my head.
God sees. And that's really what matters.
God sees. And that's really what matters.
God sees. And that's really what matters.
3 comments:
Wow! That's a tough one. It does matter than the boss sees because your job depends on it. I bet the Lord will work it out so your boss gets a better perspective of your performance over-all. God cares so much about things that are important to us.
Leah - I have to trust God with this circumstance, too! :)
As I read your post, it reminded me of how easy it is to get caught up in "proving yourself to others." I used to get caught up in this a lot with the competitive mom syndrome....well that is what I call it. I'm thankful to have learned from that destructive way of life. Anyhow, I bet if the boss talked with the residents about you, her perspective would change greatly. I like your thought, God sees. And that is really what matters. That is a good reminder to keep us remembering on how our focus should be working for God, no matter what we are doing. I wish it weren't so hard to get our heads/thoughts out of the world and focusing on God.hugs***chera
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