Friday evening Josh asked to be taken to a certain fishing spot on Saturday. I had to go into work for a while Saturday afternoon, so I told Josh I would drop him off on my way. Actually, it wasn't "on my way". Rather it was out of the way. But you get the idea. The problem is, I went shopping Saturday morning - which took longer than I anticipated. As in, I spent half an hour simply standing in the check-out line. *ugh* The result was, by the time I got home I had 15 minutes before I needed to leave for work. And in that time I needed to put groceries away, get dinner ready in the Crock Pot, and fix myself something for lunch. When Elizabeth asked, "Are't you going to take Josh fishing?" my heart sank in my chest (I'd forgotten that little detail.) and I said apologetically, "I can't do that now. Not enough time." I fully anticipated Josh would start yelling and being angry at me because I was going back on my word. That behavior, after all, has been his typical response to disappointment. And I completely understood why he would be disappointed with this unexpected turn of events.
BUT Josh did not start yelling. In fact, he helped bring in the groceries. AND, he made me a sandwich for lunch. Yeah. My boy who has been known to flip out on a dime, maintained complete composure in the face of disappointment. He even went out of his way to be helpful. And I? Couldn't let that behavior go by without saying something. So that evening, when we were at the dinner table, I told Josh how much I appreciated his attitude in spite of disappointment. I didn't get all gushy and tell him how I'd been thinking about it all day. Not sure he would have taken to that very well. But I made sure he knew I noticed his progress. And I made sure he knew I was thankful for the growth I'm seeing in him. Because, goodness knows, I tell him when I am not happy with his behavior. I want to be sure to point out the good stuff, too! Fellow mother, may I encourage you today to catch your children doing something well, so you can tell them you saw it?
4 comments:
So true. We don't hesitate to remind them of the bad when the good is even more important. Way to go Josh!
Angela - Yes, it is!
Amen. I have one of those (only 5 so many years of "progress" left to build in him). It's hard to sometimes even see those good things, but it's so important to not only notice, but point out that you noticed. They need to hear that so much. Me too. :)
AMM - Yes, sometimes it is hard to see them. So we need to look with diligence. And, oh! What a joy it is when they appear. :)
Post a Comment