This Week with Grandma

My grandmother has been living with us for nine months now. And over that time span, I have written more than 20 This Week with Grandma posts. Since it is always my goal for this blog to be a source of encouragement and up-lifting for the reader, I have tried to keep my posts about life with my grandma positive. Our time together each week certainly gives me plenty of stories from which to choose. And I truly enjoy sharing them.
However, as Grandma is progressing through life I am finding the difficulties are coming more frequently. Caring for her gets harder and harder. Both physically and emotionally. I often find myself having mental conversations like this, Remember, Karen. She is frustrated and lonely. She feels trapped in a body which won't do what it used to do. Which won't do what she wants it to do. She's hurting - physically and emotionally. So it only makes sense that she would be edgy and cranky sometimes. You can't take it personally.
I know it's all true.
But it's hard.
And sometimes there are tears. (From both of us.)
Yeah. That's pretty much how this week has been.

At times I find myself recalling others' concerns when we decided to have Grandma move in. There were those who questioned whether we should take on such a big commitment.
When the days are particularly difficult I ask myself, Were we wrong to do this?
And every time, I keep coming back to the same answer.

NO.

Having Grandma here is the best thing we could have done. For one, I am not in this alone. She has a wonderful team of care givers who come to our house, for whom I am so thankful. But, even on the hard days. Even when I feel too tired to meet another need. Even when Grandma's circumstances cause her to lash out, there is nowhere I would rather have her be than right here.

Of that, I am certain.