Wednesday, September 04, 2019

One More Lesson

OK.
One more day of processing, and then I think I'll be ready to move on.
That is, God has been working in me off-screen and I am thankful. But part of how He has wired me is that I do a good amount of mind-heart reconciliation through writing, thus blogging often is a tool God uses to help me work through my "things".
And right now my mind and my heart need to have a talk.
What I mean to say is last Thursday when Josh and Matthew and I were sitting around Josh's bed petting Mindy and freely allowing our tears to flow, I realized something.
I didn't care one iota about the countless times Mindy had peed on the carpeting in my house.
The scratches on the window sill and the wall underneath it (Which are there from all the times Mindy ran to the window and got up on her back legs - using the wall and window sill to support her front legs - so she could look out to see who was coming up the driveway.) didn't bother me.
I wasn't even upset about all of my scrapbooks which are each missing a corner because Mindy chewed up the whole stack of them when she was a puppy.
Rather than rehearsing in my head the list of all her transgressions, Thursday afternoon I was focused on giving love to that dog. I was remembering so many of the precious moments I had with her, the ways God spoke Truth to me through her, and especially the blessing her companionship had been to Josh.
Yeah.
Especially that - as my heart broke for his breaking heart.
The thing is, every time Mindy peed on the carpet I was sincerely, truly, and absolutely annoyed.
I was put out because I was always the one who had to clean it up, and I was miffed because she knew better. Because she could do better. And I secretly suspected she was doing it just to aggravate me. Thus I would give her the stink-eye, and do my best to make sure she knew I was NOT happy with her for doing what she did.
But sitting with her as she lay dying, I truly did not care about any of those moments.
They didn't matter!
All that counted Thursday afternoon was that Mindy had been a blessing to my family, and I wanted to give her love.

And now that we're on the other side of Thursday and all it's pain, I'm wondering if God has one more lesson for me which He wants to speak through that dog's life.
That is, I realized as I sat by Mindy's side that my change of heart came from my change in perspective. I wasn't upset with her for her failings, because I was acutely aware how precious - how fleeting - was the time we had with her. Loving her being became more important than despising her doing.
Am I the only one who needs to read that statement again???
Loving her being became more important than despising her doing.
And therein, I believe, may be the final word God wants to speak through Mindy's life.
Oh, that by the power of His Spirit my heart may elevate the value of a person's being over the value of their doing. Yes, LORD, please work in me these changes of perspective which are pleasing to You. Please make me more like Jesus!

Karen

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