Oh, friends, God is so good!
Remember that neighborhood Bible study I mentioned joining? The one with the rat lovers? Well, we are studying the book of Isaiah and this morning I finished Lesson One. At the end of the lesson we were asked to consider our first impressions of Isaiah and his message and then to note any response we had to what we observed. Maybe it is because I am so desperate, but the thing which really stood out to me in the overview of Isaiah was hope. Some things we looked at in the overview seem harsh but I kept seeing it come around to restoration, and that always gives me hope.
The last verse for this week's reading was Isaiah 65:19 and it truly jumped off the page and into my heart today.
I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.Right away I thought of my kids. Could I say, "I will rejoice over this house and take delight in my children"? Sometimes I honestly don't feel that way.
We've been having some trouble with Matthew - his behavior, his attention (more accurately, his lack of attention), general obedience. Sometimes he does well and other times, not so much. I want to raise him to be a responsible, respectful young man. I want him to be a joy to his teachers, classmates, and everyone else with whom he comes into contact. I am trying so hard to teach him well, but some days I feel like a total failure and I think maybe I should send him to his room until he's 18. Have you been there?
So, anyway, this morning when I read about God rejoicing over Jerusalem and delighting in His people I was encouraged, but more so when I read that "the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard no more." It was as if God were reminding me once again we will make it through these hard times, and the kids will be fine when they grow up. There will come a day when I won't feel like crying over some failure or imperfection every day. Those sounds will be heard no more!
I just sat with those thoughts and thanked God for His never-ending patience with me and for the amazing hope He gives me every day. I wrote, I can delight in my children and trust the day will come when there will be no more weeping or crying.
Sitting in that hope, however, I was reminded of another thing God has put on my heart recently. I don't want to miss today because I'm too busy hoping for tomorrow. Yes, today has challenges in it but I know there are good things, too, and I don't want to miss them. Like the joy of waving to my boys when they're riding off on the school bus, and the hugs they give me before they leave. I don't want to miss those! And the heart-felt apology Joshua gives me after he has yelled at me. I don't want to be so looking forward to freedom from trials that I miss his tender plea. I want to live and love TODAY. And so my closing prayer for my quiet time this morning was, Lord, help me to love them now and enjoy them now even as I trust You to take us through the hard times.
Here's to a wonderful day, today.
7 comments:
Beatifully written, Karen! I feel the same way. I spend so much of my time wishing it all away that I'm scared I will one day regret not enjoying what is NOW. I talked about this in my "resisting" entry!
{but some days I feel like a total failure and I think maybe I should send him to his room until he's 18. Have you been there?}
YES!!! I have been there. I have 2 of my 3 girls that I feel this very thing with more often than I'd like. I just want to close the door on them and see them again when they are adults and realize they are responsible for their behavior and not ME. I hate feeling so responsible for their reactions. But, God called us to train them. So, we open the door to their bedroom hopefully after talking to God and drawing our strength from HIM :)
Karen,
I have thought of this in the past week, as well.
Because I am divorced from my childrens' father, I have to be around an ex-mother-in-law who is very bitter and vindictive toward me. I was dreading having to be near her last week at my son's football game. Then it occurred to me : I just want to enjoy watching my little boy, use the strength that God gave him, and the joy he gets out of playing. Enough with all the worry about everything else - I just want to love my kids and focus on the positives of what God has given us!
I'm glad you were strenthened in your study -and thanks for sharing it with us!
Karen, I am so glad that God has given you this heart to minister to women that you can impart to others, that they can draw unto God (oh long sentence...hope that made sense). I can testify that your 'realness' and exposure of the challenges and joys of motherhood has given me joy and hope. I've just posted a fresh entry on this topic of parenting, and I want to thank you for being open to the Lord because - well there's a big light at the end of the tunnel. And TODAY is good. I now realise that they are growing up so fast and soon hanging out with us won't be sooo cool, so everyday is precious, and the Lord will give us the revelation, the words of hope we need to not be robbed of this precious time. Hugs.
I love this! I really enjoy your writing, I just realized that you are an author- very cool!
We have 3 older kids and adopted a little one and I know how quickly these days pass, so I am trying to enjoy every minute instead of dread the next day!
Blessings,
Sue
I have nominated you for an award!
Thanks to sweet mummy, I found your blog and i'm having one of THOSE days today. i sometimes think that if i didn't homeschool my relationship with my firstborn would be better--but i have a feeling that even if i put him in school, our problems wouldn't be solved, they would just manifest themselves differently.
So, yes, I have been there. In fact I am there now. And many days I cry out to God to save my children in spite of their mother.
Karen, I want to see scriture in this way more - where I can see how it applies specifically to my situation or stage. You have developed your spiritual eyes to see it this way and you share it so well. I want to be able to do that more.
Post a Comment