Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Prayer for Failure Moms

A couple of days ago I put a counter on my blog so I could gain more information about traffic to this site. One of the things I have just found as I am looking at my account is this: I can see what key words people enter into search engines which ultimately lead them to this blog. Kinda cool, eh?
There is one mom out there for whom I am earnestly praying today. She found my blog after typing in the phrase, "I feel like a failure as mother of teenager." Reading those words, I could only imagine her sitting at her computer - perhaps after a fight with her child - feeling utterly hopeless, feeling like she is ruining her child, wishing that child understood Mom wants what is best for him/her but afraid said child only sees the Meanest Mom in the World. And so she types in what she's really feeling. I feel like a failure.
I have soooooo been there! In fact, even though it's a rotten place, I still visit every now and then. And those are the days I most question whether or not I really will survive motherhood. I question whether or not my children will survive motherhood!
But, friends - fellow moms in the trenches - there is Hope!
This morning I started memorizing Psalm 30. (On occasion I memorize a Psalm by meditating on one verse per day, writing that verse down and carrying it in my pocket and referring to it throughout the day. A week or so ago I read Psalm 30 and knew this was the next one I wanted to commit to memory!) Verse one says this:

I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
As I meditated on that verse, one of the things I did was thought about my "enemies." I told the Lord, I don't consider my children to be my enemies but sometimes mothering feels like an enemy. Er, maybe it's my expectations that are my enemies. Yea, like my expectation that I'll do everything perfectly. Or pride. Yes, pride wants me to do everything perfectly so people will look at me and think I'm so good. Lord, do not let pride gloat over me. I want to exalt You - not me.
I have come to understand God is strong and I am weak. And in my weakness He is glorified because He gives me the strength I need to make it through. I know what it is to feel like a failure mom. I know how it feels to be afraid your children are never going to understand you really, truly have their best interests at heart. Some days I actually ask them, "Do you think I wake up every day thinking of ways I can make your life miserable? I don't want to make you upset. I am trying to train you and shape you. My desire is for your good!"
Somehow in the midst of this struggle I am finding more and more Hope. I am becoming more convinced my children are going to be OK. It is true I am a broken, imperfect woman, which translates into a broken, imperfect mom. Sometimes I feel like a failure. Can you relate?
But my friends, here's the Hope. God loves our children more than even we do. He is bigger than our failures and imperfections. He has made us our children's' mothers on purpose and He will faithfully see us through this journey.
Pray. Pray for your children. When you are at your wits' end with your kids, pray that God will calm your heart. Pray that He will open their eyes to see your love for them. Pray that He will guide and protect them through their future. And trust in His faithfulness to do these things.

So, where are you today? Feeling like a failure mom? Please let me pray for you.
Father, perfect Father, thank You for loving this imperfect mother. You know her heart because You formed it. You know her fears because You listen to her cries. You know her weaknesses and her needs because You know everything about her. Today I am asking you to cover her with Your love. I am asking You to fill her to overflowing with hope in who You Are. Lord, please give her the confidence she needs to know You are in control and working all things for good. When she is feeling weak please remind her You are her strength and help her to trust in You. And, Lord, please give her children the grace to understand she loves them even when she seems tough, and she really does have their best interests at heart. Thank You, Lord, that in the midst of holding the universe together in perfect balance You are concerned about the things concerning us. Amen.

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Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity said...

This morning I felt like nothing but a failure. So it's so God like that you posted on this today.

Thank you!

Happyhome said...

Yep, this one's for me today! Thank you friend.

One thing I am thankful for is the fact that tomorrow is a new day. His mercies are new for me every morning and tomorrow doesn't have to be (PLEASE don't let it be) like today!

Renee's Ramblings said...

I have been so blessed by this post today! Words just cannot express my gratitude; I truly needed this post today. Thank you!

Juloyes said...

Karen-thank you for your ministry!!! I am halfway through your book and I am so blessed-- it's chock full of honesty and points me to the Gospel! I'm plugging this book on my little blog (and buying copies for all my friends for Christmas!). Pray for me today as I homeschool my firstborn to be full of the grace that God has shown me! Thank you thank you thank you!!

Juloyes said...

oh, and I'm posting a thread about this blog on my pastors wives forum, too. I think we could all use help in this area!

LoveMyStarr said...

I have those moments where I want to cry in defeat. And Scamp has only just begun! Some days all I can do is pray that God will give me the strength to be the mother He wants me to be. I will always be in need of his mercy and strength. I am so glad God is using you to encourage and uplift not only me but many other moms as well.

Jenileigh said...

This was so needed, so beautiful. Thank-you!

Coach J said...

Wow! What a need you are meeting!

Rachel said...

I just wanted you to know that I quoted you in my recent post. I didn't use your name, I just put it in the red words (not like jesus....i didn't even think of that til I just wrote that.) I am thankful for your thoughts. Sometimes you hit the nail on the head in saying what some of my struggles are. Thanks for what you do on here!

Sweet Mummy said...

Karen, in the moment it doesn't usually cross my mind to stop and pray. There's no physical presence there to remind me (I need to learn to be more mindful of the Spirit) and I don't usually have my hands in my pocket holding on to the little note I wrote and stuck in there to help me to remember.

I'm a woman of practical details. SO... How do you develop this discipline?