When you were an adolescent, how did you make decisions about guys and relationships? Did you think things through to their logical conclusion, or did you let your heart do all the “thinking”? Who helped script your life?
I wish I could say I prayed and sought the Lord on everything, and I entered my marriage with no regrets or lingering memories. But that would be a lie.
The truth is, I didn’t meet Jesus until I was a freshman in college so seeking His input during my teen years really wasn’t an issue. And pretty much the extent of any other leading I had was a very simple script. My mom said, “Nice girls don’t do it.”
Please don’t get me wrong, I am not faulting my mother for the decisions I made as a teenager. I knew she didn’t want me to do what I was doing. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been sneaking around. But her admonition did nothing to motivate me.
As far as I could see, Nice Girls weren’t very desirable. They got teased and called names (and not nice names, either). They were never welcomed into the “in crowd.” People snickered at them when they walked by, and looked down their noses at them. Nope, being a Nice Girl wasn’t going to motivate me to make (what I now realize are) good relational decisions.
So I followed the crowd. I did what “everyone else” was doing. I felt used and unloved but, in my messed up adolescent mind, I thought I was acceptable.
I am so thankful I met Brian, and that he introduced me to Jesus. In both of them I found forgiveness, true love and real acceptance. Along the way God put a desire in my heart to speak honestly with teens and encourage them to make better choices than I had. As a result, for four years I spoke for an abstinence education program called S.M.A.R.T. (S*xually Mature Aware Responsible Teens) – two years as a volunteer, and two years on staff. And now that my daughter is approaching her teen years I have a renewed sense of urgency to think about teens and relationships.
I believe it is the combination of my past, present and near future which make me so excited about Tricia Goyer’s new book, My Life, Unscripted. In this book, Tricia draws on Biblical principles to guide girls through the tumultuous teen years by teaching them to have a plan of attack before temptation or hardship come. I love how Tricia says it:
Looking back at my drama-filled teen years I now wonder ... What was I thinking?I have thoroughly enjoyed reading My Life, Unscripted. Tricia writes to adolescent girls. She relates with them in a been there, done that, learned my lesson the hard way so you don’t have to, here’s a much better way to go about it kind of way.
The truth? I wasn't. I lived from day to day on every wave of emotion. Some days excitement and passion partnered up, pattering wildly within my heart.
Other days, depression and anxiety were my silent friends. I lived each day as it came, with no plan for my future, for my relationships, or for my heart.
I lived my life completely unscripted ... and, well, it didn't go well for me. Teen pregnancy and a broken heart were only two consequences. Yet my prayer is that when teen girls are asked Who's Writing Your Life? their answer will be ME ... with the guidance of God, My Director.
While I am not planning on relinquishing my parenting duties to Tricia, I am absolutely planning on giving this book to Elizabeth to read in a couple years. (She’s only eleven now…) I am sure it will be a great tool as, together, we work through her teen years.
If you would like to take a peek at the book, you can read chapter one here.
You can get your copy of My Life, Unscripted at Barnes & Noble where it is part of their back-to-school end cap promotion. OR, you can leave a comment here letting me know you would like to be in a drawing for a free copy. I will select the winner from all comments submitted by midnight October 5, and Tricia’s assistant will send you a free copy. Feel free to let your friends who have teenage or pre-teen daughters know about this give-away so they can enter to win, too.
7 comments:
Sounds like something I should've had too... but you live and learn... and I have...
drop my name in the hat, i have a feeling this is something Samara should read when she gets to that age... that age that I dread... even now...
Oooh I came over to tell you that I have given you another award. I'm not just being trigger-happy with these awards, this one Mathetes Award, I felt was very deserved by you. I was praying as I prepared my post and I saw a forest fire licking through the 'trees' (the ones that the Lord has been cutting up and using in many other places in/through your life) and setting the trees ablaze, on fire with revelation, with freedom - ministry taking off, women being freed - all on a bigger scale, not just the USA where you have spoken so far...bigger...dream bigger...
Oh - could I enter into this draw? Is that OK? I was only thinking on this teenage girl subject last night, how I was getting interested in boys aged 9 (I know dreadful) and wanting to be prepared for my daughter as she grows, with wisdom etc.
Karen,
As the Mom of a 15 year old girl, I am praying for all these things. I am so thankful that she is living with much more direction than I ever did. She has strong convictions- thank you Lord!!
I am going to grab this book for her, thanks for the info.
Blessings,
Sue
Looks like a great book. I'll remember this as a gift for Christmas.
Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/
http://www.mikeleonen.com/
I've just read the first chapter of Trish Goya's book; it is simply awesome!
I too have made my fair share of mistakes, especially during my younger life. Reading Trish's work made me feel a bit lighter in heart; as I realised that I too have travelled a journey which could have been easier, if only I had listened.
None of us should have to learn the hard way, however, as God gave us all our own free will we chose to exercise it. What a pity we chose such a poor example to follow!
After many,many scrapes I am now settled, happy and in love; with my family. Without my dreadful mistakes in life I would not posess the capacity to forgive and be forgiven.
I was so angry as a youngster and like so many I took it out on myself:- with little regard for the consequences - it wouldn't/couldn't happen to me!
With one teenage boy in the house, I am very aware of the effect that peer pressure may have. He has just started college, while his peers thankfully have gone elsewhere.
I also have a young friend, who is just starting out in University; she too has made some catastrophic mistakes. This book would be perfect for her; as her adult body belies the little girl inside, who needs to learn these lessons.
I would love to read the whole of this book, I think it can be used to good effect with both girls and boys. Thank you for introducing me to a title that I will track down in my local bookstore.
I hope that I will be eligible for this draw as I live in Ireland;
All the best,
Pauline
http:/freewebs.com/vincacards
Karen!
Thanks so much for sharing my book with your readers!
Tricia
www.triciagoyer.com
I saw this post about this book, but didn't win the book in this contest. BUT I found another contest to enter and I DID win over there. I'm so excited. I don't even have a teen-aged girl yet, but after reading this here I knew it would be a good resource. I'll be sharing it with a family that has 2 teen-aged girls whom I adore (they are my friends as much as their mom is in some ways). Thanks for the heads up!
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