Sunday, September 28, 2008

I Know This Much

*deep breath*

One. Two. Three.

*another deep breath*

OK, this is what I know:
God is using my children, and my mothering struggles to refine me. This is all a part of my sanctification process. He is making me holy - showing me my sin in various ways and teaching me to follow Him, instead of bowing to my sinful nature.
And I know God is with me in the midst of the struggle. I know He is loving me in every minute and He will give me the grace I need to raise these children.
If that means I need to spend over two hours Saturday evening and three hours Sunday afternoon pulling my hair out working with Joshua on homework, listening to him bemoan the fact he isn't out playing (Even though I let him have a friend over Friday night and he spent most of Saturday with that friend.), and getting an ear-full about how I am ruining his life, so be it.
Honestly, the five plus hours we spent on homework could have easily been completed in one hour. Most of the time was spent whining and crying (by Joshua) or praying (by me). It did occur to me, this exercise of frustration is GREAT for my prayer life!

I am well aware that the challenges I face in mothering are being used by God to grow me. I know I would have no ministry among moms if I wasn't going through what I'm going through.

I know God is using it all for good.

I know when I am breathing deeply and praying for extra amounts of grace because Matthew's off-the-wall, out-of-control ADHD behavior is about to send me through the roof, God is teaching me patience. In the moment, He reminds me to trust Him. God reminds me He has created Matthew perfectly and I can believe in His good plan.

I know this is all True.

I know it.

And I believe it with all my heart.

Some days, I just wish I could know it without going through it.

Know what I mean???

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16 comments:

Chatty Kelly said...

Awww, I'm so sorry you had a bad day (or two). And I'm glad you are able to find the positives (more prayer time, being refined).

Because my 4th grader doesn't have ADHD, I can't speak to that issue. But I do enjoy John Rosemond (Christian parenting expert) and his books. He has one called Ending the Homework Hassle. You can check out his web site, www.rosemond.com

Hang in there! We're all struggling with different mommy issues. And God is there with all of us.

Praise and Coffee said...

I know exactly what you mean and I thank you for being so transparent. You are a blessing to so many moms that feel they are out there alone.

Love,
Sue

Stonefox (otherwise known as Heidi) said...

YES, I know what you mean! It is much nicer when things go smoothly.

Sweet Mummy said...

Oh, yah, I know exactly what you mean. I'm doing this with homework and my daughter. I really don't want every day of school for the next 8 or 9 years to be a fuss like it has been the last week, so I'm doing my best to remain calm, breathe deeply, and say less than I would want to. I need to remember to pray more during those times, too. Thanks for the reminder, and for being honest about this struggle. You're awesome, just for sharing it!

luvmy4sons said...

I completely and truly do exactly what you mean. It is good to stop and remember that there are good purposes in our struggles as a mother! But whew! Huh? I will have a post tomorrow about complete failure on my part dealing with teen issues! You are not alone.

The Patterson 5 said...

I've been there at that home work table too, and I am glad you still have your hair all in place! Thanks for keeping it real and turning your heart and ours to prayer. We are not alone. God has plans for our dear children, even when they are not acting so dear!

Jessica said...

Man, that sounds stinky. I'm not looking forward to the homework days.
You're ruining his life, huh? Hehehe, I'm sorry about your day but it sounds like you have a good grasp on things.
You know, tribulation produces patience, etc.
:-)
God Bless you, Momma.

Mrs. Sidney said...

Being a wife and mother are definately making my relationship stronger with Christ. If everything was great I would probably forget about spending time with him.. not good

Rachel - Heart Assessment said...

I sure do hear you!

Edie said...

I wish I would have had someone like you to talk to when I was raising my daughter. Praying you though it.

Stacey said...

The "knowing it, without going through it" stuff....I'm so there with ya...on so many levels! You know your Father well, and you keep your eyes looking at Him through it all. We are all trophies of God's grace, and these times of craziness are reminders of that :) You have popped into my thoughts several times lately, and I'm praying for you!

kreed said...

I so know what you mean!

Becoming Me said...

I sooo know what you mean...sigh

Colored With Memories said...

oh man! i don't feel your pain yet, but i'll remember this post when the homework days do start!

hang in there!

Chatty Kelly said...

**off topic** - yes, ADHD Me & I filmed each others videos.

Amanda said...

Dear friend- Oh how I can relate. Maybe not to the specific problem, but to the hope that these moments are making me better and strengthening my walk with Him.
You are right though... your ministry is so strong and encouraging and if your life were easy and kids were perfect...well, you might lose your focus group! ;)

lol

Many blessings-
Amanda