Thursday, April 29, 2010

She Should Get a Free Session for This

My husband was training one of his elderly clients the other day, when they got into a conversation about our son, Joshua.
Brian was telling this woman about our struggle with Joshua - regarding his tendency to lash out at us and argue.about.every.thing. And his ability to control that temper when he is with other adults. (Teachers, coaches, etc.) It has been a mystery to us. How can the same kid be so difficult with us, but so self-controlled with others?
With all the wisdom which comes from her age, this woman looked at Brian and said, "Of course he goes off on you. He knows he's safe with you. You love him and you'll never leave him. So he feels safe working out his issues with you."

Is that statement as profound to you as it is to me???

My son is secure in my love (Even though he sometimes accuses me of not loving him...) so he feels safe going off on me. Because he knows I won't reject him.
Wow. In a really weird way, that makes me feel so good!

And I'm thinking this lady should get a free training session for this wisdom shared! *grin*


Karen

11 comments:

gianna said...

Just yesterday (or maybe the day before), I was praying for you and your relationship with Joshua.
And then yesterday (for sure) I was thinking about you because Maya wanted to play football and so I was praying like you did when you spent time with Matthew (or Joshua) in the park. I love you, friend!

Mari said...

She's brilliant! And I think she is right too - it really makes sense.

luvmy4sons said...

Yes! Oh yes! There's the rub, huh? Hubby and I have often consoled ourselves with that piece of knowledge...LOL! I think we are all like that, no? Isn't the closest people to us the ones we can be the most ugly with? Children alone do not suffer with this by themselves. I know hubby is the one I can be th most ugly with...wish I could say I was not ugly with anyone! But alas. Hugs sister. Great big hugs!

Karen Hossink said...

Gianna - Thanks so much for praying.
I love you, too!

Mari - Yes, she is. I am so thankful for the insights of those who have 'gone before me'.

Leslie - The rub. Yes.
But I keep telling him - There's nothing you can do which is going to make me stop loving you.
Have I brought this on myself? LOL

O Mom said...

That so makes sense. And someday when he's older he will be an amazing guy, because he was able to work through those things with such loving and faithfull parents.
Praying for you :)

Karen Hossink said...

O Mom - Thank you for your encouraging words.

Leah Adams said...

If only we understood that we are just that safe with God. He can take our rants and our tantrums and still love us unconditionally.

Yes, I agree, she should get a free session.

Leah

Sara K. said...

That IS profound! I can see myself possibly walking in those same shoes with my oldest son someday... *sigh.* There is something reassuring about knowing you're not the only one, though... Thanks again, as always, for sharing your life with us!!

Karen Hossink said...

Leah - David surely understood it, didn't he.
I'm so glad God's love for me doesn't depend on me!

Sara - Yes. If we have to walk in the same shoes, it IS good to know we aren't alone.
Love you!

Angie Muresan said...

That makes sense to me. And of course it's true. He knows you love him. He's secure in that love.

Deirdre said...

that is SO true! I'm gonna have to bookmark this one and come back to it when Ginny starts giving us a hard time.