Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Good Side of Insensitivity

or...

How Too Sensitive and Insensitive Live in Harmony

a.k.a.

A Day in the life of Karen and Brian

If you have deduced from the alternate titles offered above that I have been known to be too sensitive, you would be correct. Before I started learning how to think rationally, Too Sensitive me often found herself in tears - feeling wounded by the "thoughtless" words of another. Too Sensitive me heard other people's words mostly as critical, and as reminders that she was not "good enough". For anything.
And, while I am soooooo thankful for the relief I have found through a combination of anti-depressants and re-training my of thinking, I am still very in tune with sensitivity. Not just what I hear, but also what I say.

So, last weekend when reflecting on something I had said to my husband, I felt I needed to apologize.
You see, Brian took advantage of some time off from work to do the grocery shopping for me. What a nice thing to do, don't you think? Me, too!
When he got home and I was putting things away, I came across a few things which were not as I had requested. And I asked him about them. Honest mistakes. I could return the items and make corrections. Not a big deal, really. End of audible conversation.
The conversation in my head, however, kept playing. And I started kicking myself. Why did I have to point out his mistakes? Brian did a nice thing by getting the groceries for me. Why did I draw attention to the few things that weren't right? I should have let them go unnoticed. Now he probably doesn't feel like I appreciate what he did for me. Ugh! Why did I do that???
So I approached Brian to apologize for bringing up the mistakes. I told him I really appreciated that he did the shopping and I wasn't trying to make him feel bad by asking about the few items. He merely shrugged it off and said it hadn't bothered him, then walked out of the room. Seconds later he poked his head back in and said, "I'm insensitive. Remember?" And we laughed.

Ahhhh. We're perfect for each other!

Karen

2 comments:

Ginny Marie said...

I try to hold my tongue, too, when I send my husband shopping! He usually does okay, but sometimes doesn't get exactly what I want. But I try to be okay with it, because when he shops it really helps! (Plus, I hate going to the grocery store!)

Irritable Mother said...

Ginny - Ahhh! I just took "fajita-size" tortillas out of the freezer to thaw. I KNOW I wrote "burrito-size" on the grocery list.
But I bit my tongue. It'll be OK. They'll just be very full burritos in small tortillas. *wink*