Friday, February 10, 2012

Lessons From the Edge

It's OK to be me.

One of the things I've been learning to do since my anxiety/depression diagnosis is to monitor the way I think. I've learned to talk some sense into myself!
Last week at Edgewood, I had another opportunity to practice that new skill. And to remind myself of a valuable lesson in the process.

Two of my co-workers were on vacation, so it was just my boss and me in the office most days. On one of those days my boss said, "Wow. It sure is quiet around here!"
Seems like a totally harmless statement, doesn't it? Well let me bring you up to speed with how a broken mind like mine thinks. My first reaction to that statement was to feel inadequate. You see, my co-workers are quite boisterous and often keep us laughing through lunch. So hearing my boss's expression caused me to think she was dis-satisfied with the quiet. And I began to think I need to be more boisterous, to tell more jokes, to do more silly things. I started to think (once again) that I'm not good enough.
Fortunately, before I got too deep into that pit, God reminded me to check my thinking.
And I knew my thinking was faulty. I literally said to myself, "It's OK to be me." (Sometimes I have to speak to myself out loud like that. Sometimes I even address myself by name. Karen, it's OK that you forgot to do x, y, and z. *blush*)
Anyway, I went on to recall times when I've thought I needed to be more like someone else. I remembered when I thought "I" wasn't good enough. Then I reminded myself of the time someone thanked me for being me. When she said she appreciated my personality. And I realized this Lesson From the Edge wasn't a new one. But it's one we need, all the same!

It's OK to be me.



Jodi@ said...

I need this lesson ALL the TIME! ;o)

I kinda, sorta addressed this in a round about way in my blog today...

I've been praying about NC in Sept! A lot of things are up in the air right now, God is sorting them out. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but I'm praying that NC in Sept can come true! Got to get Christen set for SC first. :o)

Jodi@ said...

oh! is there any info you can send me about the gIRL gathering??

Patricia/NYC said...

I so hear ya on this one!!!
A great reminder! :)

Have a wonderful weekend!

Leah @ Point Ministries said...

I understand. I can talk myself into all manner of moods if I am not careful. Great reminder

Daveda said...

I have to remind myself daily of the truth about myself and about God's unconditional love for me. I love how open you are :)

Please come visit me at Grace Talk and follow the link to my new blog page for my new business. I would love to know what you think!

Edie said...

Oh my goodness I love who God created you to be! Just as you are! And I can totally relate to those feelings of inadequacy and calling myself by name when I'm reprimanding myself. *wink*

I love that when God calls us by name it's never accusing, condemning or degrading. Look at what He decided you should be called. "Pure" :)