Lessons From the Edge

It's OK to be me.

One of the things I've been learning to do since my anxiety/depression diagnosis is to monitor the way I think. I've learned to talk some sense into myself!
Last week at Edgewood, I had another opportunity to practice that new skill. And to remind myself of a valuable lesson in the process.

Two of my co-workers were on vacation, so it was just my boss and me in the office most days. On one of those days my boss said, "Wow. It sure is quiet around here!"
Seems like a totally harmless statement, doesn't it? Well let me bring you up to speed with how a broken mind like mine thinks. My first reaction to that statement was to feel inadequate. You see, my co-workers are quite boisterous and often keep us laughing through lunch. So hearing my boss's expression caused me to think she was dis-satisfied with the quiet. And I began to think I need to be more boisterous, to tell more jokes, to do more silly things. I started to think (once again) that I'm not good enough.
Fortunately, before I got too deep into that pit, God reminded me to check my thinking.
And I knew my thinking was faulty. I literally said to myself, "It's OK to be me." (Sometimes I have to speak to myself out loud like that. Sometimes I even address myself by name. Karen, it's OK that you forgot to do x, y, and z. *blush*)
Anyway, I went on to recall times when I've thought I needed to be more like someone else. I remembered when I thought "I" wasn't good enough. Then I reminded myself of the time someone thanked me for being me. When she said she appreciated my personality. And I realized this Lesson From the Edge wasn't a new one. But it's one we need, all the same!

It's OK to be me.