It Begins with Us

So, this certain issue has come up a few times recently.
And when things are repeated around me, I tend to take notice. And think about them. A lot.

I've been pondering the idea of vulnerability. Honesty. Being real.
It's hard to do, isn't it?
To be real, that is. Thinking about it isn't as difficult. But to actually be honest, and vulnerable - to really put yourself "out there" - well, it's just hard to do!
I started thinking about how I used to feel so alone in my struggles as a mother. Although I knew lots of other moms, I was pretty sure I was the only one who struggled. It seemed to me that everyone else was perfect; that they had it all "together". And I wasn't about to let on that I didn't. Therefore, I put on a face whenever we were together and I acted like I was just fine.
I acted like I was perfect, too.
Because if anyone knew I wasn't? Well, I thought they wouldn't like me.

Then something crazy happened.

God helped me understand that He is using my struggles for good. He showed me He's using them to refine me, and I discovered I could have hope in the midst of this mess.
And when I started talking about it? Actually confessing my struggles? I discovered there are a lot of other moms out there who are struggling, too. I am not the only one who isn't perfect.
To top it all off - and this is my favorite part - after I started speaking about my struggles, I can't tell you how many mothers approached me with tears and thanks, so grateful to know they aren't alone, either.

I realized for as long as I kept my struggle to myself, no one was the better for it. I was miserable, and other moms like me thought they were alone, too. But when I started talking, that is - when I got real, and honest, and gave vulnerability a chance - it was as if a whole new world opened up. Not only was I set free to be real, but so were the women with whom I spoke. And we have developed a bond, a community of support and understanding. I love it!

All this thinking and reflecting has brought me to a conclusion. If we're tired of living among people who don't seem real, who never disclose their struggles, and who appear unwilling to be open - and if we want that to change - we need to be vulnerable, ourselves. I am convinced one person's honesty opens the door for others to be real. I've seen it happen so many times! So, if we want to have real relationships, we need to be real first. It begins with us!