Thursday, April 11, 2013

What I Can't Say


I want to say so much. But I can't.

I want to say, "Seriously??? Do you see the double standard here? Why are you so concerned about her feelings and being nice to her when she does this kind of thing to you? Don't you see that she's doing the very thing which she says she doesn't want you to do? Do you see this whole thing is really all about her? What she wants, according to her time-frame, and on her terms? Why do you let her do this to you???"

One of my daughter's *best* friends is being - imho - incredibly selfish, self-centered, and unreasonable. I can make this observation, because I have acted the same way before. And it drives me crazy to see my girl so torn up about it - wanting to please and appease this friend, while still fulfilling her other obligations. The mama bear in me wants to tell my daughter what I really think about her friend's behavior, and release my girl from all feelings of unreasonable guilt. But I know such a rampage would accomplish nothing for the benefit of anyone.

So I won't say it.

Instead, I will remember I was once a teenager who acted in a similar way.
Still do, some days.
I was a girl in need of guidance and grace.
Still am.
I will remind myself how I benefited from time and maturity, and trust the same will be true for my daughter's friend. I will pray for her. For both of them! And I will ask God to give me the wisdom I need - to produce the words I can say - which will help my girl and her friend through this bump in their relationship.

LORD, please help me!



Kaira said...

It's hard to stand by and watch these things. <3

Karen Hossink said...

Kaira - You can say that, again!