Friday, January 27, 2017

Stop the Ride. I Want to get OFF!


I'm a bit dizzy. Feel like I've been on some kind of roller coaster.
One minute I'm up.
And the next I'm down.
All is well.
And woe is me!
Yesterday it seemed to be going full-throttle.
I started off the day in prayer. And I started off the prayer time with praise - going through the alphabet and praising God for His attributes. HE is All-Knowing, BIG, Compassionate, Divine, Excellent, Faithful, Gracious... I delighted in dwelling on God's goodness and power and amazing love. I prayed for the many people and circumstances God has put on my heart, and I thanked Him for knowing what to do in each circumstance. It was a simply glorious time!
As the morning went on, I found myself reading articles and opinions of the political sort. Some people expressing relief and others disdain. There was grumbling and arguing. And I began entertaining thoughts and arguments in my own head about what is good and what is bad, what is fair and what is unjust. Part of me wanted to roll out my case for all to see, and another part of me said it would be foolish to do so and would just contribute to the chaos. So I kept silent on the outside, but inside I entertained thoughts of concern for the future of our world.
Thankfully, my morning also included the need to work on Precepts homework - which got me back to focusing on God. I studied about His desire to work in us and our role in obeying. I was reminded of God's holiness and perfection, and His Spirit inspired me to seek Him. Annnnnd, eventually I had to go and run some errands.
My return home meant a return to chores. As I was folding sheets and towels and putting them away, I noticed my spirit starting to grumble again. When the boys find their towels hung nicely on the rack like this, do they realize I have washed and replaced the towels? Are they thankful? Do they even care??? And what about Brian? Does he notice the clean sheets and towels? Every week? Right on schedule? Without any prompting or requesting? What about dinner.every.night? And all the other things I do around here all the time without being asked? Does anyone really appreciate me???
(I'm not even kidding. I honestly went through this monologue in my head. *blushing*)
Then I had to sit down and ask myself what was going on. Why was I all over the place like this? How could I be praising one moment and grumbling the next? What was happening to me???

God, in His goodness, wasted no time answering my questions. Because as I thought it through I could see: Every time I was "up" I was looking at HIM. And every time I was "down" I was looking at me.
I could sense His Spirit nudging mine and saying, This isn't a new lesson, is it, dear one?
And as I cozied up in His embrace my heart answered, No. It isn't. I'm getting off the roller coaster now.

Where is your focus today???


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