A Welcoming Lap

OK, the kids are all in bed and all their bags are packed. Tomorrow morning at approximately 8:00 we're hitting the road to deliver them to their "good week" destinations. Elizabeth is going to camp, while Joshua and Matthew will be spending the week up north with my mom and dad. I just know this week is going to be filled with great things for each of them and I am thankful for the memories they'll be creating.
Back here at home, Brian and I will surely enjoy some time alone in peace. Of course, I am open to the possibility that God will give us a great new house by moving in the seller to accept the ridiculously low offer we've submitted, which would mean Brian and I will use this week to clean, purge, and fix up our house - taking advantage of a kid-free week. However, what I'm really hoping for is some time to focus on my current writing project.
Not sure if I've mentioned it here in my blog, but I'm working on a new book. This time I am writing a devotional in which I share stories of how God shows Himself to me through my children. Tonight I'm going to include one entry here for you to preview. I'm calling this one, A Welcoming Lap.

It was a cloudy, cool summer afternoon in northern Michigan. I had my kids and my niece with me and we were at a lake. Because we were up north and because they are kids, my little charges felt it a necessity to go swimming. I, on the other hand, being a reasonable adult, realized it was just too much on the cool side of summer to actually get wet. Let the kids swim if they must, but I was content to sit on the beach wrapped up as much as I could be in a towel, trying to ignore the goose bumps surfacing all over my body.
After a fair amount of running, yelling and splashing, Matthew left the water and approached me. He was feeling the chill of the air on his wet skin and wanted to wrap up in a towel so he could sit on my lap to soak up some of my warmth. I observed the goose bumps rising on his skin, listened to his chattering teeth, considered how cold he must be, and thought, No way!
I didn’t want Matthew to sit on me and get me wet, too. He was the one who made the choice to go swimming, not me. Hadn’t I made it clear enough at the start? I was willing to take the kids to the beach, but I wasn’t going to be getting wet! Besides, I didn’t think I had any warmth to share. Having Matthew sit on my lap would only serve to make me colder than I was already.
But he stood there and looked at me. Water was dripping from his chin and ear lobes, his little body was shivering, and his eyes spoke ever so softly, “Mommy, can I please sit on your lap?” What could I do? I had to let him sit on my lap.
As I opened my arms and welcomed (albeit reluctantly) my cold little boy onto my less-than-warm lap, I thought about how God accepts me. I come to Him broken and needy. I struggle with selfishness, irritability, impatience, and a lack of self-control. As much as I desire to be a reflection of my Lord to the world around me, I know I fail to do it. And He knows it, too. Yet He accepts me.
Isn’t it wonderful to know we don’t have to be acceptable in order to be accepted? God knows who He wants us to be. He who began a good work in us will see it through to completion. God knows the trials through which we’ll need to go in order for us to be mature and complete. He will bring just the right amount of adversity into our lives so we may become holy, even as He is holy. Yes, He has a vision of who we will be when His work in us is finished.
I so want to be the woman God wants me to be!
But I’m not there yet.
And God knows it.
Ever so graciously, God accepts us right where we are. He patiently and perfectly works in our lives so we may become more like Him. Our job is not to become acceptable. Our job is to trust in God and cooperate with His Spirit as He makes us acceptable.
Sitting on the beach with Matthew on my lap, I prayed and thanked God for accepting me onto His lap in any condition in which I come to Him. I don’t need to be dry and warm.

Your Turn:
Do you believe God accepts you just as you are, or do you sometimes think you need to clean yourself up so He’ll love you? If God accepts you as you are, and is working to make you into the woman He wants you to be, what would He say to you about how He sees you right now? What would He say about His vision for you? Imagine what His words would be, and write yourself a letter from Him. Then spend time in prayer thanking God for His love and committing yourself to cooperating with Him as His Spirit works to transform you.

God is so good! I pray you are encouraged today as you consider how much He loves you!

Jesus' Calm, Quiet Confidence, Part 2

Last week I wrote about Jesus calm, quiet confidence in the midst of difficult or uncertain circumstances. This morning I was reminded of His confident nature again, as I read Matthew 14:13-21 where Jesus feeds 5,000+ people with only five loaves of bread and two fish.
The disciples saw the large crowd and the small amount of food and wanted to send the people away to get something to eat. I can imagine them saying to one another, "We've got to send these people away to get food. There are so many of them and it's time to eat. They aren't even thinking about dinner, they just want Jesus to heal them. When they realize how hungry they are and that there's nothing here, they're likely to get unruly. What should we do? Let's tell Jesus to send them away - they'll listen to Him."
But Jesus simply said, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat." (Mt. 14:16) Can you imagine the disciples' reaction? Matthew 14:17 says, "'We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,' they answered." I, however, would guess their response (if only within their own heads) was more like, "Are you kidding, Jesus? Five thousand people. Five loaves of bread and two fish. Do the math. It isn't enough!" Yet Jesus wasn't worried. He made it enough. No, He made it more than enough! Without getting upset or anxious Jesus took what the disciples had, gave thanks for it, broke it and gave it back, and it satisfied everyone. With calm, quiet confidence Jesus displayed His power again.

So, a few days ago, as I was thinking about how God is repeating this lesson to me about Jesus being completely and perfectly in control of everything, my mind started wondering...I wrote, Yes, part of me wonders if You are preparing me for something big - in which I will really need to know You are in control. (being sarcastic now)...As if I can handle the small stuff on my own and only need You for the big deals. O, No! I need You for everything, Jesus!
I realized my tendency to look to God for the "big stuff" and the implied notion that I don't need Him for the every-day-boring-run-of-the-mill-not-a-big-deal aspects of life. Not so, friends. God is involved in every boring detail of our lives and I am so thankful He patiently leads me and speaks to me until I "get it."

I closed my first post about this subject asking about the storms which may be brewing in your life. Today I remind us both that Jesus is just as present and powerful in the gentle breeze as He is in the storm!

Have a wonderful day!

Time Travel Tuesday ~ Camp!!!

Oh, yea! This week Annie is inviting us to travel back to summer camp. Annie asks, What is your favorite memory(s)from summer camp? My daughter is leaving for camp next Monday, and thinking about her experience to come brings back lots of fun memories.
I went to summer camp at Camp Greenwood in Gowen, Michigan. My first year of camp was when I was nine years old, just after fourth grade, and I loved it from the start. My mom told me she missed me so much that first time (It was a short camp, just four days/three nights.) and when she came to pick me up I almost made her cry because I told her to go home - I was having too much fun at camp and wanted to stay.
Seven summer camp experiences have filled me with lots of memories, but I'll try to pick just a few to share here, lest your eyes get tired from too much reading!

...I loved all my counselors, but especially Barbie. She was my counselor three years in a row. I sang in her wedding and we still exchange Christmas cards, twenty-one years after our last camp experience together!

...One of the years Barbie was my counselor she told us to bring buckets and shovels to camp, from McDonald's Happy Meals. She supplied the vanilla ice cream and Oreo cookies and one night at camp we made our own Cookies'n'Cream ice cream and ate it with the shovels out of the buckets - in celebreation of the Oreo cookie's 75th anniversary.

...It was at Greenwood I learned to play, "Honey, if you love me." This is how the game works: Everyone sits in a circle and the player who is It tries to get someone to smile by saying, "(Annie) if you love me, would you please smile?" The reply is, "(Karen), I love you, but I'm sorry. I just can't smile." And, of course, this line is delivered without smiling. Then the player who is It gets to lay it on a little thicker. eg, "(Annie) if you really, honestly and truly love me, won't you please just give me a little smile?" The reply, again without smiling, "(Karen) I do really, honestly and truly love you. But I just can't smile for you." Finally, the player who is It can touch the "victim" - tickling their chin or cheek, or holding their hand - and say something like, "Oh, (Annie), you're breaking my heart. Please, if you love me, pleeeease won't you smile for me?" In the same fashion, the reply would be something like, "(Karen) I surely don't want to break your heart, and I do love you. But I just can't smile for you."
If the victim is successful and doesn't smile, the player who is It has to try on someone else. If the victim smiles, he or she becomes It.
I now enjoy playing this game with my second and third grade girls at the end of Sunday school. Every week they ask, "Can we play Honey, if you love me?"

...I also have fun memories around the waterfront. Learning how to canoe, having the boys from one of the cabins come around and swamp all our canoes, the greased watermelon contest, and learning some synchronized swimming.

...Of course my favorite summer camp memory is when I was a counselor and Brian proposed to me. But that may be a visit for a future Time Travel Tuesday, so I'll save it!

Yes, summer camp is awesome. Thanks, Annie, for bringing us here! Be sure to visit Annie to read about other summer camp memories.

A New Day

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. The are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
Lamentations 3:19-24

I am so thankful for a new day, for new compassion and God's everlasting faithfulness. Because last night was a pretty rotten night.
My kids have been on a kick lately of doing a portion of a job and then stopping, saying, "I've done enough." They don't want to do one iota more of work than someone else. And if I ask them to pick up something which isn't "theirs" you can be sure there is going to be an argument. Needless to say, I am very tired of it.
I have even considered doing childish things to drive home my point that we're a family - and functioning as a family means doing things for other people and even putting away things you didn't get out or use last. I have thought about starting to make dinner and then saying, "I've done enough," and leaving the kitchen. Maybe when they're all really hungry they would get the point. Or maybe I could sort the laundry and then stop without ever washing, drying, folding, and returning everyone's clothes. When Joshua asks if I've washed his favorite shirt I would just say, "No. I've done enough." Maybe that would teach them.
Anyway...Last night after dinner my husband ran an errand with our neighbor but before he left, he instructed the kids to clean up the messes they had around the house. They started off OK, but it wasn't long before the I've done enough mentality took over. I talked to them about functioning as a family and even told them my ideas about how I could take on the I've done enough attitude, hoping if they just thought about it they would change their attitudes and work together.
Nice try, Karen.
Eventually the house did get picked up, but not before the kids did quite a lot of bickering - with me and with each other - and not before I was really tired of dealing with the arguments. Then Brian got home, asking, "So, how did clean up go?" Impeccable timing, dear.
When it was time for the kids to get ready for bed, the trouble continued. I will spare you the details. The bottom line is, I was in tears. I was resenting my kids for acting their age and I was upset with myself for having that attitude. In the midst of it all God was reminding me how much I love them and how blessed I am to have them, and I was a mess of mixed up emotions.

But this morning I woke up to a new day, with new compassion. I've been humming that song, The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning, great is Your faithfulness, O, Lord. Great is Your faithfulness.
Yes. It is a new day. I am loved by God. And I love my children.
Have a great day!

God's Smile

Oh, so many things I want to share with you today. More about Jesus’ calm, quiet confidence; thoughts from the sermon I heard this morning; excerpts from the new book I’m writing. But those entries will have to wait. (Yes, you may consider this to be a preview of my blog this week…Of course, I am a woman and I reserve the right to change my mind at any given moment!) For now I have settled on talking about the sweet thing God did yesterday.
Brian and I and the kids spent the afternoon and evening yesterday visiting a friend of ours who lives on a lake. This friend is single and has no children so she was eager to share the fun of being on a lake with my kids. After the kids ran through her house and admired the space and the view of the lake, we all got our suits on and boarded the boat. (Though I honestly had no intention of getting into the water! It was just too cold, IMHO.) We rode around on the lake for awhile and stopped at one place to swim. Brian and Elizabeth got into the water, but the boys and I opted to stay dry. Another time Matthew got into the water, too, and as I visited with my friend I could tell Joshua wasn’t really enjoying himself. However, I was hopeful he would perk up when we went back to the house and he got to go fishing.
Upon our return, I found my hopes fading. Joshua was a bit cold, he was bored from waiting for everyone to be ready to leave the swimming hole, he couldn’t find any worms for bait, and he had a headache. (Which I’m pretty sure was a physical manifestation of his attitude and disappointment.) I helped Joshua look around for worms, but only found bugs, so he set off to fish with his rubber worms and other lures. However, the fish in that lake are not like the fish in the river by our house and they showed absolutely no interest in Joshua’s offerings. He was very disappointed and I was sorry for his frustration. I so wanted him to be collecting fun memories rather than regret. However, try as I might, I couldn’t do anything to help him.
Then, from out of nowhere, Elizabeth called out, “I found a worm!” Joshua ran off the dock to get his prize and promptly threaded it on his hook. I think he was back on the dock, line cast and ready, in less than a minute. This was all very nice, and I was so pleased with Elizabeth for finding that worm but in all honesty, I thought, It’s the middle of the afternoon and boats are going all over the water. What is the chance he’s going to get a nibble, even if he does have a real worm? Oh, me of little faith.
Just moments after I let that thought go through my head, Joshua called out, “There’s a really big fish over here!” I was truly surprised, as we hadn’t seen any fish all day. I started praying. God, I know this really isn’t a big deal. Catching fish really isn’t important. But if You would just let Joshua catch that fish, oh, he would be so happy.
I knew nothing major would benefit from such a catch. World peace would still be an issue. Gas prices would still be way too high. And chances are the debate over cloth vs. disposable diapers would continue. But I also knew catching a big fish would make a world of difference in Joshua’s day and I knew God could let it be if He wished.

He wished.

Joshua quickly and carefully walked off the dock, proudly displaying the very large Large Mouth Bass he’d just hooked. He relished in his feat for a moment before releasing his catch, since no one knew how to cook it and no one wanted to clean it. None of that mattered. Joshua was just thrilled to have caught this very large fish.
After the bass, Joshua caught several little Blue Gill and there was a noticeable spring in his step. His headache went away, too! Later in the evening, as we were eating dinner, Joshua was talking about how cool it was that he'd caught such a big fish. I told him I had asked God to let him catch it. He smiled and said, "Thank you." I smiled back and said, "Thank God!" He did.
Since Joshua was feeling better after dinner, he decided to join in on the other fun everyone was having - which included tubing with Elizabeth and Matthew behind the boat. Oh, did they ever have a great time! As I watched my kids bouncing over the water on the tubes, admired the huge smiles on their faces, thought about the new experiences they were having, and remembered that very large bass, I thanked God for the wonderful day we were having and His favor in the fish department.
I have a friend who would say God smiled at my family yesterday. He did sweet things and poured out blessings on us which were totally unnecessary. We didn't need or deserve any of it. I think the whole day was a sweet expression of His love, and I am so thankful for His smile.
How have you noticed Him smiling at you?

Laughing with Purpose

As parents we're supposed to give our kids cultural experiences to grow them and make them well rounded individuals, right? Like take them to art museums and cultural festivals and symphonies? Do shows with Christian comedians count?

Last night Brian and I took our kids to church to see Keith Deltano. We explained to the kids that a comedian is someone who makes you laugh. They thought that sounded OK. When we told them there was going to be ice cream after the event, they were sold.
What we didn't know was that Keith would have such a great message to present in the midst of the laughter he brought to us. He shared about his past and what he went through with pride and prejudice - thinking he was better than that kid from the south. Keith was very funny and related well with the audience. He has been a sixth grade teacher and worked in ministry with kids, and while his presentation was enjoyable for the adults in the audience it was also totally appropriate and relavent for the kids. We had some good conversation with our kids about the content afterwards.

If you ever have the opportunity to see Keith in your area, I highly recommend going!

Jesus' Calm, Quiet Confidence

Have you ever had a season of being drawn to a particular quality in Jesus? I am always impressed by His compassion and patience. However, over the past couple of weeks I have been also noticing His calm, quiet confidence and am wanting more and more to emulate that characteristic.

When Jesus was a boy He stayed behind at the Temple in Jerusalem while Mary and Joseph, unknowingly, went on without Him. Discovering they were missing Jesus, Mary and Joseph went back to look for Him. Finding Jesus in the Temple Mary said, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxioulsy searching for you." (Luke 2:48) And Jesus responded (as I read it) very calmly, perhaps matter-of-factly, "Why were you searching for me? Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" (Luke 2:49)
And in Luke 4 when Jesus is led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil, I see Him - again - responding confidently as He relies on the Word of God.
In Luke 5 Jesus calls the first disciples and I am again drawn to His confidence. Jesus tells Simon to put out the boat, drop the net to catch fish (though the men had been working hard all night without any success), and when the men are shaking at Jesus' feet He simply says, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men." (Luke 5:10b)
Finally, this morning I was reading Mark 4:35-41 where Jesus calms the storm. In the midst of the storm Jesus was asleep on a cushion, not because He didn't care but because He simply wasn't afraid. In calm, quiet confidence Jesus commanded the wind and waves to calm down and they did just as He said.

I noticed when there was turmoil around Him (Mary's anxious words, Satan's tempting, the fearful fishermen, the furious squall), Jesus remained calm. He knew His Father, the Word, His mission, and His authority, and He had perfect confidence in them. Oh, I want to have that kind of confidence in my Jesus!
This morning I wrote, Lord, I believe You are able to handle the situations around me. And I went on to write them out. Some of them my issues and some of them other people's issues about which I am praying. I continued, Well, that's quite a list - but I know it doesn't overwhelm You or cause You to fret and worry. Thank You, Lord! I pray You'll move in me to bring me to the place of trust where I will be calm and have a quiet confidence because I know in the depths of my heart You are in control and will work out all the details.

I wonder what storms are brewing in your life today. May Jesus' calm, quiet confidence be yours and bring you peace today. Jesus, draw me close. Please make me more like You.

Time Travel Tuesday ~ First Car Experience

This week Annie is asking about first cars and early driving experiences. She asks, What was your first car? Do you have an interesting experience to share about learning to drive or about your first driving experiences?

Hmmm. My first car car was a Cutlass Ciera. I don't know what year, but I remember it was silver and had maroon interior. To be honest, I didn't care much. It was a car and it got me around. That's all I really needed.
What I do remember is my first experience driving in a car full of adults. It was also one of the few times I ever yelled at my dad...
I took driver's training during the summer and had just gotten my learner's permit. My family and I were up north in Gaylord, MI for the weekend at my parents' cottage, along with one of my high school principals and his wife. Saturday was grey and yucky so we decided to go into town to find something to do. Everyone thought it would be great practice for me to do the driving, and I agreed. Only, when we got into town I discovered the problem with this great idea. Being that it was a grey and yucky day, no one wanted to go to the lake so everyone decided to drive into town. Wow, the streets were very crowded.
I did alright with the four adults telling me when to stop and when to go, when to turn and when to straighten out. However, by the end of the afternoon I'd had just about all the "coaching" I could handle.
We stopped at a gas station to fill up and as I was getting ready to pull out of the parking lot I was a bit overwhelmed by all the traffic. I'll admit there were several times I could have made the right turn into an open lane, but I wasn't confident enough to make the turn without both lanes being clear. My dad kept saying, "You can turn now," or, "You could have gone there." Finally I looked at him and yelled, "I'll go when I am good and ready to go!"

He didn't say anything else for the rest of the drive.

It's hard to believe that all took place 20 years ago. I'm glad I got better at making tight turns. Saves me a lot of time now!
Visit Annie for more Time Travel Tuesday driving tales.

My First Interview!

A couple months ago I received an e-mail from Carrie Lauth, of Natural Moms Talk Radio, asking me if I would be interested in doing an interview with her on her program. I immediately thought, Oh, that would be fun! I would love to do an interview. But before I accepted I thought I really should learn more about the program to see if I would be a good fit for them.
As I listened to other interviews and clicked through some of the links on the website I began to wonder if I would be a suitable guest. So many of the other guests talked about *natural* things. Organic foods, breastfeeding, eco-friendly tips, etc. I have no problem with any of those topics, but they aren't the focus of my book or the things about which I speak.
I talked about it with my husband (a.k.a. my Voice of Reason) and he said, "Hey, you're a mom and you get irritable. That's natural!" Carrie was sure the women in her audience would benefit from what I would share, so I agreed to do the interview.
A couple of weeks ago I sat on my bed, recording the interview with Carrie over the phone. It was fun and I'm so glad I did it. I am not sure if the women who normally listen to Natural Moms Talk Radio are Christians, but I am praying God will speak to the hearts of each one who hears my interview. Lord, You know each woman who will tune in to that interview and I pray You'll use my words to deliver hope. Be glorified, Lord!
If you would like to hear the interview (It lasts about 15 minutes.) you can link to it here.

Five Things I Dig About Jesus (a meme)

Continuing the meme started by John Smulo at Smulo Space.

John started a meme called Five Things I Dig About Jesus.

Here’s how it works:
Those tagged will share five things they dig about Jesus.
Those tagged will tag five people.
Those tagged will leave a link to their meme in the comment section of this post so everyone can keep track of what’s been posted.

You can go to Five Things I Dig About Jesus to see what other people have said.

Here are Five Things I Dig About Jesus:

1. His compassion is amazing. I read through the Gospels and see the crowds pressing in on Him, making demands, whining and complaining, “hearing” Him but not listening, and even following Him when He tries to go to a quiet place and pray. In spite of all this chaos, Jesus looks at them with compassion because they are like sheep without a shepherd. His compassion overflows and I absolutely love that about Him!
2. Jesus is so patient with me. I am like those sheep without a shepherd sometimes. I wander around wondering what to do next. I tell Him I want to be like Him and then I go and do my own thing until He lovingly and patiently brings me back. If I were in His position, I would have given up on me a long time ago, but Jesus patiently calls my name and He is making me His own.
3. Jesus is a perfect servant and He shows me how I am supposed to live. He left the glory of heaven to show the way here on earth. The Lord of lords and King of kings washed dirty feet and hung on a cross. He gave His very life that I might live. I am so thankful for His example and want to pour out my life for His glory.
4. Jesus never changes. Let’s be real. I am a woman with hormones like a roller coaster. I can’t depend on myself to think rationally most of the time. I am so glad that no matter what my state of mind or emotion Jesus is the same and I can count on Him and His truth regardless of where I am in my “cycle.”
5. Jesus is good, and everything He does is good. I know whatever is happening in my life He has allowed it and, even if I don’t understand, I can trust He will work all things for good.

Isn't He wonderful?

I want to hear what you have to say, so I tag Deborah, KarenW, Angela, Coach Jenny, and Annie.

Have wonderful day!!!

A Visit to the ER

I have a combined total of 27 years of raising kids - my kids are 11, 9, and 7 - and last night we had our first-ever trip to the emergency room. Considering my history, I think it's quite impressive that it took "27 years" for me to take someone to the ER.
When I was a pre-schooler I was with my mom at the grocery store, slipped and hit my head at the check-out counter, and had to go get stitches.
In kindergarten I slipped on the ice (on the way to ballet lessons, no less!) and fell and cut my head open on the porch. More stitches.
In first grade I was picking up a toy from underneath my dresser and when I stood up I hit the back of my head on the corner of the dresser. Stitches again.
In second grade I broke my elbow when I was "sledding" during recess at school.
In third grade my friend and I were playing kickball and as I was running backwards I tripped and fell, hitting my head on a pile of rocks. Yep. More stitches.
In fourth grade I fell during indoor recess at school and broke my finger.
Finally, in fifth grade I really did it. I was trying to fit in with the boys by riding bikes over a jump. I ended up with a concussion and was in the hospital for a few days following surgery to reattach my lip to my gum line. Now I have a pretty funky scar inside my mouth!
Can you understand now why I am so impressed with my children's lack of need for emergency room care???

So, yesterday we came to my mil's house to celebrate the Fourth of July. Last night I told the kids to all use the bathroom before we left to go see the fireworks display and that's when the excitement began. Joshua screamed for Brian and I from the bathroom and when I went in, I saw blood running down his forehead. We got him cleaned up and were debating whether or not he needed stitches when my bil came in with a bloody head. He'd had a little accident on the dirt bike. So now we had two heads possibly in need of stitches, and two guys who did NOT want to get stitches.
We bandaged Joshua's head and went to the fireworks, deciding to "wait and see" if further attention was necessary.
Being the worry-wart that I am, I kept watch on Joshua like a hawk. I wouldn't let him go on the playground, preferring him to just sit with me on the blanket. As time went on his wound began to bleed again and we decided he needed to get those stitches after all. So at about 11:30, after we'd gotten home from the fireworks, Brian, Joshua, my bil and I all went to the ER.
My little guy was so scared. It was all I could do to not cry with him. When the doctor told him she would need to give him stitches, the flood gates opened and he cried his little eyes out. At first the doctor gave him a topical anesthetic but he could feel her suturing him so then she injected one and that worked. I sat with Joshua praying and singing to him, doing my best to look in his eyes without looking at what the doctor was doing. I wasn't sure I'd be able to stomach watching her sew him up. Yuck.
Finally, about 2:00 A.M. we were finished at the hospital, came back to Grandma's house, and fell into bed.
This morning Joshua is feeling better. We have talked about our adventure in the ER and how, although it wasn't "fun," now Joshua has a memory to share with his kids the first time he takes on of them to the ER.

It was interesting to me to do my own reflecting about my response to this whole situation. Perhaps part of it was fueled by a quote I read on someone's blog yesterday. I don't remember who said it and I probably won't repeat it accurately but essentially, it said, "To be a mother is to choose to watch your heart walk around in someone else's body." When Joshua was hurting, I was hurting. When he was scared, I wanted to cry. My protective nature went into overdrive as I thought about how much I didn't want him to hurt anymore. The same little boy, who was driving me nuts with his complaining during the drive from Lansing to Holland earlier in the day, was now the object of my deepest concern and affection.
It is amazing to me when I think of how much love God can fit into this heart of mine. At the same time, I realize His love for me is far greater still. Though I complain about this or that circumstance, though I struggle to be the woman He wants me to be, though I am imperfect and broken, He loves me. Now that is amazing!
My friend, please remember today, He loves you, too!

Blogger Reflection Award

Awww, I love receiving awards, and Annie has given me this Blogger Reflection award.

I have shared before that it is my desire in this blog to be a source of hope and encouragement - especially to mothers - but really to anyone who happens by. I share about life, sometimes silly things just to make you smile (or laugh at me!), and about the things God is teaching me because I think His Truth is true for all of us. It is my heart’s desire to reflect God’s goodness and love to the world around me – including the blogosphere. So, thanks Annie, for seeing this in me.

Here are the rules for passing this award on: The reason for the title is because this award should make you reflect on five bloggers who have been an encouragement, a source of love, impacted you in some way, and have been a Godly example to you. Five Bloggers who when you reflect on them you get a sense of pride and joy... of knowing them and being blessed by them.

1. Copy this post.
2. Reflect on five bloggers and write a least a paragraph about each one.
3. Make sure you link this post so others can read it and the rules.
4. Go leave your chosen bloggers a comment and let them know they've been given the award.
5. Put the award icon on your site

Here's my top 5 in no particular order:

Jesus Loves Me, This I Know…Penny and I first met in junior high school and lost touch after graduation. Over the past year we have become reacquainted and Penny very recently started a blog. I have been looking for an opportunity to tell you about Penny’s blog and when I read the qualifications above to share about a blogger who fills you with pride and joy I knew this was the time. Penny is a new mom and is in the beginning of a journey being wooed by God. I absolutely love reading about her journey and her thanks to God for His love. I truly am filled with joy when I read her posts.

Jenileigh’s Journey…I love Jenileigh, not just because she says nice things to me, but because she loves her girls so much. When I am feeling frustrated with my children I can visit Jenileigh and (after I giggle at the silly pictures) renew my perspective. Her love for her girls is infectious and helps me see past the petty frustrations and realized once again how blessed I am.

Irrational Love…I passed the Thinking Blogger Award to Jen some time ago, and am happy to give her this one, too. Jen loves God and shares the things she’s learning from Him on her blog. You cannot read her posts without having an ah ha! moment or the desire to pull out your Bible to read more.

As I read the original post for this award I saw we have permission to give this award to bloggers who have already received it, because “they deserve it as many times as it’s given.” So my final two awards go to bloggers who have been recognized already for their reflective blogging.

Karen’s Ramblings…Karen loves to read and she often includes posts on her blog about the books she’s consuming and how God is speaking to her through them, while she challenges her readers to seek Him as well. I love Karen’s heart for God and her desire to be used by Him. She is an encourager.

My Life As Annie…I have to say, “Right back at’cha, Annie!” Truly, I am blessed when I read Annie’s blog, especially as she shares about her experiences with Izzy. Annie’s love, patience, and servant’s heart shine through in her posts and really make me wish I knew her IRL and could spend time learning from her.

So there you have it, friends. My picks for the Blogger Reflection Award. What a joy it is to know you and share life with you over the blogosphere!

Time Travel Tuesday ~ Wedding Edition

Ahhh, it's summer and love is in the air! And Annie is taking us back to our wedding day. She asks, What are your memories from your wedding day? Were you nervous? Do you remember walking down the aisle? What about the rehearsal dinner, anything special happen that night? This will be fun!

Brian and I are coming up on our fourteenth anniversary. We were married on August 7, 1993 and I can hardly believe it's been that long. At the same time I can remember our wedding like it was just yesterday.
Unfortunately our digital camera is broken right now so I'm not going to be able to include pictures for you. Boo hoo. Trust me when I say, we were adorable!
Brian and I paid for most of the wedding ourselves, so I didn't get in on much of the pampering that some lucky brides enjoy. I did my own nails, hair, and makeup, but somehow I still felt like a princess on that day. Probably had something to do with the beautiful white gown and the fact that everyone stood up when I entered the room!
We got a couple of good laughs during the ceremony - and no, I wasn't nervous at all! The pastor almost forgot to have us exchange rings and I had to remind him about it...which brought about a chuckle. The best one, though, was during his message to Brian and I. He said, "During our counseling we talked about many things. Brian and Karen seemed to know the answers to all the questions before I even asked them. Oh, they know there will be times when they will be irritable." Right when he made that statement - as if it were scripted and rehearsed - Brian and I looked at each other in "shock." The entire congregation erupted in laughter and Pastor Al said, "Maybe we didn't talk about that part." It still makes me smile to remember that moment.
Brian and I wrote and memorized our vows and at the end of the ceremony we talked to the congregation about God's love and faithfulness and how we wanted to mirror it to one another in our marriage.
At our reception - and this was Brian's idea - we "performed" our bridal dance. I choreographed the steps, we rehearsed for months, and then danced for everyone to Harry Connick Jr.'s song We Are in Love. I wish there was a way to, check that, I wish I knew how to format the video so I could post it here. I'm sure you would love it. Once again, you'll have to trust me - we were adorable!

The thing I can't get over is how young we were. Brian was 22 and I was almost 22. I thought I was so grown up and knew so much about life and love...Now I realize I knew almost nothing. One thing I did know was how to pick a wonderful man. I am such a blessed woman to have Brian as my husband. Thanks again, Annie, for a wonderful trip down memory lane.
Visit Annie to read about more weddings!

Please Pray!

Many of you know about Allie, the little girl for whom I've asked you to pray in the past. In case you're a bit new around here, you can find Allie's story here. I just got an update about Allie, and she needs all of us to be praying right now. Please click here for the update and join me in praying for Allie's miracle.
Thanks so much!

Rockin' Bloggers and the Muppets

Awww, how sweet is this?
Those of you who have been reading here for awhile know my son Joshua and I have a game we play in which we tell each other "You rock!" This is how the game goes: One says, "You rock!" The other says, "No. You rock!" The first says, "You rock more than me." The second finishes off by saying, "You rock more than I ever will!" We stick pretty closely to that script and I love playing it with him.
Well, now I've had two blogging friends tell me they think I rock. Annie and Leigh both passed on the Rockin' Girl Blogger award to me.


I love this award, not just because of the game Joshua and I play, and not just because hot pink is one of my favorite colors, but because I'm encouraged to know the things I share here are benefiting others.
I know two friends to whom I would like to pass on this award:
Coach Jenny - because I love your heart and passion for God.
Char - because I love your honesty and you make me laugh.

If you've been with me for awhile you may also recall my disdain for Pokemon videos on Friday nights. I am so happy to report the kids have seen all the Pokemon movies in the video store and last night we watched The Muppet Show! Sing with me now: It's time to start the music. It's time to light the lights. It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight. (Bum, bum, bum) It's time to put on makeup. It's time to dress up right. It's time to get things started...on the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, muppetational, this is what we call The Muppet Show!
The DVD had three Muppet Show episodes on it and I thoroughly enjoyed all of them. What really pleased me is the fact my kids liked it, too. It's really a simple show - music and singing, corny jokes, and a few explosions. The boys especially liked when Gonzo blows his horn at the end of the theme song and something strange comes out of his horn or explodes. I am partial to the corny jokes. And I'm looking forward to our next movie night when we get another Muppet Show DVD. Ahhh, PacMan and the Muppets. It's fun to re-live my childhood every now and then!

One more thing before I go...This week at VBS I had the privilege of praying with one young girl to receive Jesus! Hooray!!!

One More Visit with Beth

In my last post I shared about anxiety as one of the things in our Is which cheats us from our Is To Come, according to Beth Moore at the Women of Faith pre-conference. Beth said fear is the other cheater, and she defined fear as manifestations of unbelief.
When Beth began talking about fear cheating us from our Is To Come, my first thought was that I didn't really "need" this part of her teaching. I have never considered myself to be a fearful person. I know God is good and He is sovereign. I believe He can handle (and is not surprised by) the things which come into my life. Even when I was in the hospital for brain surgery I was not afraid because I knew I wasn't there because God couldn't handle my situation on His own. He had me there for a very good reason, and I was trusting Him.
So what might God have to say to me regarding fear? Clearly, I was full of faith if I could face something like brain surgery without fear. Right???
I can just imagine Him thinking, Oh, Karen. My dear, little girl. Keep listening. I have something I want to say to you. Because very soon after I determined I didn't have an "issue" with fear, Beth made another statement which grabbed my heart. She said, "My weakness does not trump God's strength. My weakness isn't stronger than God's strength."
Really???
I can't count the number of times I have faced a challenge and thought, Oh, I could never do that. I don't have the skills. I don't have the experience. Someone else would do a much better job. For some reason the "big" things (like brain surgery) don't cause me fear, but in the little things unbelief is manifested. Maybe that's because the big things are infrequent but the little things occur weekly.
So as I pondered the statement, "My weakness does not trump God's strength," I was filled with hope again in the power of God. It was another one of those DUH! moments for me. Of course God's strength is stronger than my weakness. My weakness is simply not an issue for Him. He is present and powerful even in the daily-ness and seemingly unimportant aspects of everyday life. As I considered Beth's encouragement that our Is To Come is going to be wonderful I was thrilled to imagine what He might do through me.

How about you, my friend? If you have trusted Jesus as your Savior your ultimate Is To Come is going to be perfect. What about your Is To Come here on earth? Will you let anxiety and fear rob you, or will you choose to trust the Almighty - who was, who is, who is to come, and who can handle every aspect of your situation perfectly?

Beth on Anxiety

I'm glad what I shared from Beth Moore's Pre-Conference material spoke to your hearts. In addition to talking about how our Was can cheat our Is (regrets and grudges), Beth discussed how our Is can cheat our Is To Come by way of fear and anxiety.
It seems so common for me to be anxious about things, wondering what's going to happen, will I be able to handle it? Until I heard Beth talk about anxiety I hadn't truly considered how it was impacting me. Here's what she said: Anxiety is a continual simmering of unbelief. It leaves us unguarded because it shows we are not in authority in that matter, and it shows the enemy we aren't trusting God. She said anxiety makes reasonable people unreasonable because it causes us to panic and make knee-jerk decisions.
This next statement really got me. Beth reminded us anxiety draws on human strength alone, because God will never help us worry. Think about it. We are the ones doing all the worrying. Would you ever pray something like, O God, this worrying really has me worn out. I need Your help to worry more. Please give me the strength to fret over this situation some more. Maybe You're big enough to handle this situation, but I'm just not sure. Granted, You created the universe and have somehow managed to hold it all in perfect balance since the beginning of time, but this situation I'm facing is so huge, and I just don't know if You can take care of it. So please, I'm begging You, give me the strength I need to simmer in this unbelief a little longer.
Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? When Beth defined anxiety as she did, and when she made the statement God will never help us worry, I thought, Duh! Why do I ever allow myself to be anxious for anything???
God has promised our Is To Come is going to be wonderful. Why allow fear and anxiety to cheat us?

I wrote one other statement from Beth in my notes which I want to share with you. It deals with fear, and I'll write about it next time.

VBS is going well. Day Two is always smoother than Day One. Whew!
I am working with fifth grade girls and am loving it. Today we gathered in a large circle (there are about 32-36 girls in my class) to pray at the end, and I talked to the girls about God's incredible love for them. They are so precious in His eyes and my heart's desire is for them to grasp that reality through this week.

I'll check back in with more from Beth in a day or two!

Ahhhh!

Thank you so much for each of your comments, kind words, and prayers for me while I was at the Women of Faith conference this weekend. I truly did have a wonderful, refreshing time.

I attended the Pre-Conference Friday morning and afternoon, which was led by Beth Moore. Prior to Friday I had heard tons about Beth but had never seen her in person or even read one of her books. Let me tell you, I now fully agree with all the wonderful things I've ever heard people say about her. God is all over that woman!
While I would love to share with you everything she said, in the interest of time (I just put dinner in the oven!) I'm going to share one of her statements that really spoke to me, and let you chew on it for awhile. Over the course of my next few posts I'll probably share more.
Beth talked about our "Is" our "Was" and our "Is to come." She said two of the things that cheat our "Is" are regrets and grudges. Then she shared about a time she and her husband were talking about regret and he told her he wishes so desperately he wasn't broken - that he hadn't made the choices he made in the past. That's when she made the statement I loved so much. She told him, "But you are such a neater person healed than you would be just well."
Do you have regrets over your past? Even though God has brought you through and healed you, do you let your past (your WAS) rob you of joy in your present (your IS)? I believe with all my heart God is a Redeeming God, a Healer and a Restorer. Whatever is in your WAS, can you find joy in knowing God has used it to make you the person you are today?
You are such a neater person healed than you would be just well. I love that!!!

I am volunteering at VBS this week and expect to be quite busy, so my posting may be scarce. We'll see...But I will share more from Beth and the conference in general.

Have a great IS!

The Need to Get Away

Ahhh, tomorrow at this time I will be in Cleveland, Ohio settling into my hotel room and getting ready to enjoy attending the Women of Faith conference on Friday and Saturday.
Two years ago my husband was at a conference for work and somehow he managed to find himself in a hotel room all by himself for three days. When he called to tell me about it, he was actually disappointed at the lack of a roommate. I, on the other hand, thought my husband was the luckiest person in the world! As I considered his situation further I began to think, Hey, if Brian can be gone and in a hotel room for a few days by himself, why can't I? And I began to do a little research on the Internet.
I discovered the Women of Faith conference was coming to Michigan in five weeks. I checked out the details of hotels and costs, and when Brian got home I presented him with my proposal. How about I go away by myself for a few days, Honey??? I had just served on a jury (for a triple murder case. Eewww!) and had a garage sale, so it was easy for me to say how I'd pay for the conference. Brian agreed right away and I began the count down.
I had such a great experience at the conference and I have such a wonderful husband, that we decided I could make the Women of Faith conference an annual "Me Time" event. Women of Faith hasn't been back in Michigan since 2005, so last year and this year I'm attending in Ohio, but I don't mind. It just means more "Me Time" while I'm traveling!

So I've been looking forward to this event, at times reminding myself it's coming just so I can make it through particularly stressful situations at home. Like last Saturday.
I was deep in the trenches of mothering - with kids who wanted to sell snacks during neighborhood garage and yard sales. My kids and the neighbor kids set up shop at my brother's house two blocks away and I was there to monitor and make sure they didn't kill each other. (Which I fear they may have if I hadn't stepped in a time or two.) They started off really cute and were having fun. But as time wore on and the temperature rose, so did their tempers with one another. They got competitive and bossy. The little guy was annoying the bigger kids. One group didn't think it was fair that the other group had a certain table. The quarrelling escalated and they kept wanting me to resolve the fights. I wasn't biting.
Needless to say, after three hours when they had finally sold out of treats, I was more than ready to pack it up and bring every one home. But when we got home, my adult neighbors weren't home so I continued to have the responsibility of all the kids. And the kids continued with their bickering. Grrr.
When my husband got home I said, "Brian, I am ready to cry, and I'm not even PMSing!" He asked if I needed to leave for awhile. I think I was gone before he finished asking the question! I didn't get anything accomplished while I was out. Tried on some shorts and a few shirts, but didn't like anything. It didn't really matter to me, though. More than new clothes (which I really could use!), I just needed some of my own air to breathe.

That evening after we put the kids to bed I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items I needed for Sunday. As I was driving along and breathing deeply, enjoying the peace and quiet, I began to feel awful. I realized how relieved I was to be away from my kids, and I felt terrible for feeling so good. These children are gifts God has given to me. They are His creation. He loves them. I love them! How could I feel so good to be away from them? It was a terrible feeling and I was in tears by the time I got home.
Brian and I sat down to talk about it. He is a voice of reason for me and I am so thankful to God for my husband. As we talked Brian reminded me we're all adjusting to school being out for the summer and it was perfectly reasonable for me to be stressed after the day I'd had with all the kids. He reminded me I'm human - imperfect and needy in my own ways - and it's OK for me to enjoy time alone. I felt so much better after we talked.
A conversation I had the next day with my sister-in-law helped an awful lot, too. She suggested perhaps God uses these situations to alert me to my need to get away - to focus on Him, and enjoy His presence alone. I love how He speaks through my family to me!

So tomorrow I'm going away for a couple of days. I fully expect to be refreshed and renewed. From past experience, I know I'll be missing my family by Saturday afternoon and will be anxious to get home and hug them and tell them of the goodness of God I've seen while I was at the conference.
Yes. I need this time away for awhile. It is going to be a good thing, and I am going to enjoy every minute of it!

Time Travel Tuesday ~ Cooking Experience Edition

Today, we're cooking! Or at least we're thinking about it...Annie is asking us to recall our first cooking experience, and if we can't remember that far back we're allowed to share something else memorable from the kitchen.
I remember my first cooking experience - making dinner for the family when I was in elementary school - but today I'm opting for my most memorable baking experience.

This memory takes me back about seven or eight years when my grandmother taught me how to bake a pie crust. Regardless of what you may have thought of your grandma's pies, I feel obligated to let you in on the fact my grandma makes the best pies. And it all comes down to the crust. So I was eager to receive my pie crust lesson from her!
First we measured out the flour in the bowl. Exactly two cups. Then grandma measured exactly a quarter a cup of water and added butter flavored Crisco until the water reached the one cup mark. Exactly. She told me it was crucial to measure precise amounts in order for the pie crust to come out *just right.* Then she poured a small amount of salt into her hand, tossed it into the flour, and said that was the right amount of salt. I always chuckle when I think of her preciseness in everything and then the way she just "eye-balled" the salt.
When it was time to cut the Crisco into the flour my grandma told me some people use knives or a special kitchen tool, but she advised me it's *much better* to use your hands. She got things started, then let me get in and get my hands messy. We mixed and crumbled the flour and Crisco until it was sticky and formed pea-sized balls. Then it was time to add the water and mix just until the water was absorbed.
She taught me how to divide and roll the dough and how to fold it and put it into the pie plates, making sure to poke it several times before baking so it wouldn't get air bubbles.
We baked the crusts, peeled peaches and made delicious fresh peach pies. I was so proud of my first pie. More than that, I was delighted to share the experience with my grandmother. It was fun to spend the time together and to listen to her share the ins and outs of her pie crust knowledge and experience.
When I made my first pie without her help I was so excited and invited her over to sample. She said, "It isn't too bad. Remember, you can touch the dough all you want before you add the water, but you shouldn't mix it much after the water is absorbed." I filed that comment away under, "What to do differently the next time I bake a pie crust."
Since then, I have been more careful not to mix too much after adding the water. Grandma has approved of my pie crusts, and my mom says, "I think you have Grandma's touch." I have even been chosen to bake the pies for Christmas a couple times...when Grandma was going to be there. Oooo! Pressure!
Though my grandma taught me valuable things about baking pie crusts, I cannot roll it and get it into the pie plate like she does, without breaking it. I have since learned to roll it out between floured pieces of waxed paper. But I'll never tell her that's how I do it! I also measure my Crisco in my favorite "good-for-things-like-shortening-and-peanut butter" measuring cup, instead of displacing a quarter cup of water. I'll keep that fact a secret, too.
My grandma is approaching her 90th birthday and I love the memory I have of baking my first pie crust with her. Someday I hope to pass the tradition along to my granddaughter!

Please visit Annie to Time Travel with other bloggers.

I'm Soooo Impressive

My kids, especially Joshua, are sooooo impressed with me right now.

Wanna know why?

It started a couple days ago when a little friend of theirs from down the street brought over his PacMan game. It's really cool. There are little cords attatched to a joy stick which plug into the DVD player, then you just have to press a button on the remote (I have no idea which one!) and, Whammo! you can play PacMan on the TV.
My kids thought this new toy was the coolest thing and when I walked into the room they asked if I wanted to "try" this game they'd just discovered. I said, "Sure," and sat down to play. The kids were explaining the rules and goals of the game, as if I hadn't played PacMan hundreds times when I was their age. I just said, "OK," and hit the start button.
I wish I could have taken my eyes off the screen long enough to observe the looks on their faces as I cleared one board after another. Their comments were great. "Mom can really play this game!" "Look! Mom is making a new high score!" "Wow! Mom's really good at this!"
Later that night I overheard Joshua telling my husband I got the high score on PacMan. He's even telling other kids about it when they come over and see the game. It cracks me up to know how excited my kids are that I am "so good" at PacMan.

If they only knew how many quarters it cost Grandpa Sheaffer during my youth for me to obtain this valuable skill!!!

Right on Cue

I wonder if your house is anything like mine. Being the "homemaker" it seems like I'm the one who does most of the work to keep this family fed, clothed, and clean. Though the kids take their dishes to the kitchen (with occasional reminders) it seems I'm the only one who can put cereal boxes away. Somehow, no one else seems to notice milk puddles on the table or bits of cereal spilled on the floor, and therefore, no one else cares to clean it up. And why is it no one else (I'm thinking DH here) can put clean dishes away in the cupboards?
Well today is Friday and, in my house, that means laundry day. So this morning as I was folding clothes and taking them upstairs, I put the kids' clothes on their beds or dressers. Sometimes I put their clothes away for them, but I want to get in the habit of getting them in the habit of doing it. After all, that's what my mom did!
I went into my bedroom and sat the laundry basket on the floor so I could make the bed. As I have done before, this morning while I was making the bed I wondered, Why is it I'm the only one in this marriage who seems able to make the bed? I decided after I was finished and put my folded clothes away, I would set Brian's clothes on the bed for him to put away. (Reading a little sassiness into that last statement would be entirely appropriate.)
Just after I'd completed that thought, the phone rang. It was Brian. He was at Home Depot to buy carpet for recovering the steps leading up to our front porch. Just wanted to know what color I wanted before he made the purchase. We settled on gray, I thanked him for checking, hung up the phone and went back to making the bed.
As I was tucking in the sheets I considered how thoughtful it was for Brian to get my input on the carpet. I reminded myself how nice it's going to be to have those steps fixed - a job I certainly cannot do, which I'm so glad Brian is doing. Then I thought of how much work he put into making our porch look nice.
The other day I asked him to take the seat out of the van so I could bring home the boys' new dresser. Then I asked him to put the seat back in.
And every time I have a problem with my computer, or don't understand how to do something on it, I ask for his help. He always helps.
Oh yeah, and it's summer, which means I like to have more things for dinner on the grill. I don't even know how to light the grill. Brian always takes on grilling responsibilities.
All of a sudden, I found myself thanking God for this wonderful man who loves me and serves me and takes care of our family - even if he doesn't wipe spilled milk or make the bed - and I prayed for him while I put his clothes away.

This morning I was reading in the Gospel of Mark and noted Jesus' ability to know the hearts and thoughts of men. He knew when the teachers of the law were questioning His deity. (Mark 2:8) He heard the Pharisees question His disciples about the company Jesus was keeping. (Mark 2:16-17) When they were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus on the Sabbath, He knew that, too. (Mark 3:1-6) And Jesus spoke Truth into each of these situations.
I couldn't help but notice this morning when I was grumbling in my spirit as I made the bed how, right on cue, the phone rang and God spoke Truth to me as He reminded me what a wonderful servant-husband I have.

Thanks, Brian. I love you and I appreciate everything you do!

But what about...?

Yesterday I wrote about dreams. I wrote about my desire to be close to God and how that desire has fueled my dream to speak and write. The things He's already done through this ministry He's given me have been wonderful, and it delights my heart to anticipate what God may do next in this part of my life. The joy He's given me by allowing me this opportunity is almost impossible for me to put into words. I absolutely love that God has redeemed my mothering struggles and used them to bring hope and encouragement to others.
At times when I'm reflecting on the year gone by and the lives I've seen God touch, I am filled with gratitude in my heart for God. When I have a "good" writing session, or when I schedule a talk with a new group of moms it's easy for me to be thankful and praise God for what He's doing and will do. When things are going well I have no difficulty remembering God is good. I'm guessing the same is true for you, is it not?
But what about the times when our circumstances aren't "good"? What about the times when it seems God isn't listening to us, or He's listening but He isn't answering? What about broken dreams? How can we praise Him with any sense of integrity when our hearts feel like they're crushing under the weight of our worry and sorrow? What do we do then?

Some of you may remember my friend Renee and her daughter Allie. Allie is sick and last September Renee took leave from her job as a preschool teacher to stay home and care for her daughter. This family has been on a roller coaster ride of ups and downs over the past nine months, searching for the right medicines and visiting different doctors. Allie has gotten her finger poked nearly every week to check her platelet counts and sometimes they've rejoiced at a good number, while other times it's been dangerously low. Originally, Renee thought Allie would be healed of her sickness by now. But she isn't.
Just yesterday Renee sent me an e-mail telling me she was going in to clean out her room at the school, because it was clear she wouldn't be going back to teach again next year. Renee taught at the preschool for ten years and told me, "Besides being a mom, being a preschool teacher was my dream job!" But now, because her daughter needs her at home, that dream has to be tucked away.
I know God is able to heal Allie. I know there are people all over the country going before His throne on Allie's behalf, asking Him to make her well again. But He hasn't done it yet. And now Renee has a broken dream as well as a frustrated little girl who is tired of being sick.
In spite of her circumstances, however, Renee chooses to remain faithful and to believe God is good. In fact she spoke for her MOPS group to share her testimony about this trial and the HOPE she still has in God even in the face of hard times. She closed out her message to me saying, "We really believe He is listening and He is using sweet Allie to reach others for Him."

I know there are many more stories like Renee's.
~ The infertile woman who prays and trusts, but still has no baby in her womb.
~ The father and husband who earnestly seeks God's will, but still cannot find employment.
~ The mother who faithfully prays for her prodigal, but has yet to see him return.
~ You can fill in your own circumstance here.
I love the example Renee provides, which I have also seen in other faithful believers who are suffering, of what to do when God isn't making sense to us. When our circumstance is hard, when we can't see if (or how) God is working, when we're just plain tired of waiting, we can choose to remember and believe in what is True.
God is sovereign and good.
He knows our circumstance and is able to manage it.
Though we may not be able to see, He is working.
In His perfect timing, God will deliver us from our trials.

I don't know what you may be facing today. Perhaps you're enjoying peaceful circumstances at the moment. But if times are tough, if you've been asking yourself, "How can I praise Him in this situation?" I pray you have found encouragement here to help carry you through.

P.S.If you would like to join others who are praying for Allie, you can visit this website.

What is Your Dream?

I've been tagged by Karen for a meme called "What is Your Dream."
According to Karen,

Leigh from Speaking Thru Me got to thinking about a sermon her Pastor recently gave about promises and speaking the Word and Believing!! And came up with this meme: What are your dreams? Not things that God has promised you, but things you dream about or things that you whisper in His ear. What are you believing God for? Be bold, Be Honest, Be courageous!

I think God's timing is so interesting. Karen let me know early last week that she'd tagged me for this meme and I knew I wanted to participate, but I also knew I wouldn't be able to "get to it" right away. So it's been in the back of my mind for several days, and God's been mixing it up with another new thing for me.
You see, the same day I heard from Karen I had just started a book my mentor encouraged me to read. This new book is called Developing Intimacy with God. It is an eight-week prayer guide based upon the Spiritual Exercises of St.Ignatius, and the very first exercise was determining our "Basic Want." The objective for that day was to, "Determine what you want at the core of your being." For me it is simply to be close to God. Over the course of this week, working through the spiritual exercises and contemplating the idea of this dream, I have enjoyed seeing how they can work together.
I have realized that when I am speaking and writing, I feel especially close to God because I am even more aware of my dependence on Him. I pray for the women who are present listening to me. I pray for the women who will read my words. I ask God what He wants me to say. My desire to be an instrument He uses for His glory increases with each opportunity He gives me. So I'm seeing my basic want - to be close to God, has fueled my dream - to have more opportunities to speak and write.
As far as speaking goes, I absolutely love going to MOPS groups and sharing with the moms there. But as a dreamer I would love to speak for larger audiences, perhaps in conference or arena settings. Actually I am going to be speaking in November for a break-out session for a small women's conference here in Michigan. I guess that's a start!
Another part of the speaking dream would be to go places where some of my blogging friends live so I could meet you personally.
Regarding the writing, my dream is that more and more women would find and read Confessions of an Irritable Mother, and find the hope within it which God has given to me. I'm also starting another book which I'm praying will be an encouragement for women to seek and enjoy God in the daily-ness of every day.
When I'm speaking and writing I really feel like I'm participating with God by ministering hope to mothers. My dream, to speak for larger audiences and to publish another book, is to be an instrument He uses for His glory.

I couldn't find any specific directions for tagging on this meme, so I'll just leave it to you. If you would like to particiapte, please leave me a comment so I know to come by and read about your dreams!

Time Travel Tuesday ~ Vacation Edition

Today Annie is asking us to think about vacation. (Maybe because her trip just got cancelled???) She asked if we have any special vacation memories. Wow, this could take awhile. I have lots of great vacation memories to which I'd love to travel with you. I'll pick a few highlights.


...When I was a kid we drove a car on all our vacations. We had a travel game with dice to pass the time. Sometimes we watched for farms with horses in the pasture and would keep track to see who said, "Mine!" first or most often. Whoever "claimed" the most horses won. But my favorite way to pass the time was playing the Alphabet Game. The way to play is to look at road sings and be the first to collect all the letters in the alphabet (in order!). But you can only get one letter per sign, and letters off vehicles don't count. When we were coming home from Washington, DC in April I taught my kids this game. Gotta keep it going from generation to generation!
...We went camping just about every weekend in the summers when I was a kid. Saturday morning was the best because that's when my mom made donuts (which I) covered with lots of sugar. Yummmmmmm!
...I remember a trip out west when I was six. My whole family went on a trail ride and when we went through one gate, my pony took off at a full gallop. Apparently the trail leader was scared for me, but I was having a blast!
...The yucky part of that trip was my older brother, Chuck, had some problem with his knee and couldn't have his leg bent for long periods of time. So he had to stretch out his leg across my and my sister's lap for nearly the entire trip. Not even the Alphabet Game made that part of the trip more enjoyable.
...Chuck was more fun on another trip. After my freshman year of college Chuck, my mom, dad, and I went on a trip to Scotland and England. I don't remember where we were at this particular time, but I told my mom to watch while I made Chuck pose like a statue. I think the statue was of Julius Caesar and I told Chuck to imitate the pose and I was going to take a picture of him. Then I pretended there was something wrong with the camera and I kept saying, "Wait, Chuck! Hold that pose! I'm almost ready." I got him to stay that way for quite awhile. Finally, when I was sure enough onlookers had laughed at him, I snapped the picture. I looked for the picture to share with you, but it has mysteriously disappeared. Chuck!
...Of all my vacation memories, my favorite occurred just a couple of months ago. We went to Washington, DC for spring break, and God reminded me of His love.

Thanks, Annie, for coming up with Time Travel Tuesday. This is always so fun to do. To share in more vacation memories, visit Annie.

Learning Joshua

I can hardly believe it. I think I did two things right in Joshua's eyes! Those of you who've been around here for awhile know my biggest struggle is with Joshua and I am constantly trying to learn the best ways to interact with and love him. Some days it seems my only goal is to maintain peaceful interaction with him, as I'm pretty consistently watching for and trying to avoid the things which tend to set him off.
So, as we're heading into summer and I want to be sure the kids are practicing their reading, I wondered how I was going to get Joshua to read without a fight. Each of the kids' teachers had sent home a summer reading list and when I read Joshua's list I saw a ray of hope. One of the suggested books is called 101 Ways to Bug Your Parents. As soon as I read that title I thought, Joshua would like this book! Then I remembered Elizabeth's bit of genius when she got the boys to help find things for her birthday party, and decided I'd try to emulate it.
When Joshua was within hearing distance I said to Brian, "There's a book on Joshua's summer reading list that I'm not so sure I want him to read." Of course Joshua's ears perked up, and Brian said, "Oh yea? What is it?" When I announced the book title, Joshua's eyes lit up and I knew my plan was working. He wanted to read it! In fact today he asked me if he could go to the library and get it. Without living with this boy, you can have no idea how significant of an event it is for him to ask to go and get the book himself! I wrote down the title and author for him and sent him off. Apparently it's a pretty popular book, because he had to get on a waiting list for it!
No worries, because he has something else to read while he waits. That's the subject of the other thing I did right today.
Some time ago, Joshua left his Bible at church, and we have been unable to find it. (One of the consequences of the blessing of everyone getting the same Bible in first grade!) We have enough Bibles around our house that it hasn't really been an issue, but today I decided I was going to get Joshua a new one. (And his old one will probably show up Sunday. Isn't that the way it usually goes?)
Anyway, when I was reminding Joshua this morning how important it is to me to have quiet time with God each morning (and, therefore, why I had asked him to not turn on the computer), I told him I was going to get him a new Bible today so he could read it each morning, too. His response didn't tell me whether he really wanted it or not, but when I was out this morning I went to Family Christian Store and found the Boy's Bible. I know God's Truth is the same for boys and girls, but this Bible has some special graphics and features to appeal to young boys, so I bought it.
When I got home with the Bible, Joshua was gone and soon the day's activities led us all on another course and I forgot to give Joshua his new Bible. Late this afternoon he came to me and asked, "Mom, did you get me a Bible today?" I thought I almost saw a glimmer of delight in his eyes when I said I did get it. I went out to the other room and brought it back, saying, "How's this?"
Joshua wrote his name and phone number inside the front cover and "Date I got this Bibel (that's how he spelled it!) 6-11-07." He's been carrying it around, calling it his new friend, and telling me over and again, "I like my Bible!" He even sat it on a pillow beside him at dinner tonight. I pray Joshua will grow in his enthusiasm to read and apply God's word! I wonder if he'll hold on to this Bible, and years from now will open the cover, look at the date, and thank God for the work He was doing in Joshua even at the age of nine.

Yes, bit by bit I think I'm learning my son. In a sly way - to get him excited about reading, and in a practical way - to celebrate the fact he's a boy. And as I learn to understand him, I love him more and more.
This evening I was making dinner and he went outside to play on the swing. The kitchen window looks out into the back yard and as Joshua was going out he said, "Look outside every now and then and see what I'm doing." So I did. Every couple of minutes I stopped what I was doing and just watched him maneuver the swing from side to side. (Going side to side is so much more fun than back and forth!) Standing there watching him, I prayed and thanked God for this precious boy. And I think each time I looked out at him, I loved him just a little more.

The Irritable Mother's Survival Kit

Today was my kids' last day of school. Now they are all excited to be on summer vacation. Today my husband also left for the weekend - a work-related trip. Hmmm, this situation is strangely reminiscent of last year at this same time. Last year, though, Brian was gone for five days and this year it's only three.

Brian's absence a year ago, coming right on the heels of my kids being out of school, prompted me to consider how Jesus could possibly have loved the crowds of people who pressed in on Him and made endless demands. I had a crowd of only three, and they were successfully taking me to my wits' end. I wondered how Jesus loved so well.
As I looked at Jesus' habits in dealing with people, I felt I was able to take some of the things He did and apply them to my kids. The ideas were really so simple, and I was amazed at how much they helped me when I was feeling particularly irritable. While I was going through this time of learning, I was also in the midst of writing my book so I wrote down the things I was learning and called it The Irritable Mother's Survival Kit. I intended to include it as an appendix in the book.
Toward the end of the editing process, however, my editor called me and said she thought I should make the Survival Kit "more available." She thought I should include it on my website. So, I did.

As I was thinking about the challenge it is for me sometimes to love my kids as well as I want to, and how much the ideas in the Survival Kit have helped me, I realized I've never talked about the Survival Kit here in my blog. (It's an honest oversight. Really. I wasn't trying to be selfish!) Anyway, if you've never visited my website, please consider yourself invited to stop over. You can sign up for The Irritable Mother's Survival Kit on the homepage and it will be delivered to your inbox shortly.
Here's to loving our kids well this summer!

Time Travel Tuesday ~ Memories with Dad Edition

Today for Time Travel Tuesday, in honor of Father's Day on the horizon, Annie has asked us to share memories about our dad. I am happy to participate, and hesitate for only one reason. I'm sure some of you out there have grown up thinking you had the best dad in the world, and I'm afraid you'll be greatly disappointed when you discover the world's best dad was actually mine!
When you've wiped away your tears, you're welcome to continue reading and discover why my dad is so great.

First, my dad loves me. I never had an opportunity to doubt his love, because he told me about it all the time. We had a little game wherein he would say, "Know what, Karen?" I'd say, "What?" Dad would say, "I love you," and I'd say, "I love you, too." We still play it sometimes. And guess what my favorite game is to play with my kids?
I knew my dad loved me, but I also knew he meant business when it came to obedience. I'm telling you, there was nothing quite like his silhouette in my doorway to make me wish I'd been behaving better. My sister and I shared a room and had a trundle bed, you know, the kind where one bed hides underneath the other. Well, on occasion (very, very, very rarely, I might add!) when we were supposed to be in bed and quiet we might have, accidentally, been jumping on the bed. Our laughter and good time totally overshadowed any thoughts we may have had about going to bed as we were supposed to, until the inevitable happened. The wooden slats holding up the mattress, which were being moved about because of our jumping, would eventually fall out and the matress stood on its end. It made quite a noise and stood very tall. But that was nothing compared to the figure which almost as quickly filled our doorway.
My backside always regretted the fun my feet had jumping on the bed! Yes, my dad had strong arms. And his strong arms play a central role in my best memory of him.
I'm not sure how old I was when this incident happened. I only know I couldn't have been older than seven because I had my own room, so my little brother hadn't been born yet, and I was seven and a half (very important to include the 'half' back then, remember?) when David was born.
So anyway, I was seven or younger. In the middle of the night I heard a very loud crashing sound coming from downstairs. I didn't know if it was aliens breaking in to take me away, a robber coming in to steal my toys, or a monster on his way to eat me, but I was scared! I jumped out of bed and raced down the hallway to my mom and dad's room. My heart was pounding with fear but I knew if I could somehow make it to their room, I would be safe. So I ran. It couldn't have been more than twelve feet from my doorway to theirs, but somehow it felt like I was running forever.
When I got to their room I threw the door open, ready to run and jump onto their bed and cling to safety. But I didn't have to go that far. When I threw the door open I found my dad squatting on the floor with his arms outstretched toward me, waiting for me to jump into them, where I clung to safety. He had heard me coming and was waiting for me. (Kind of reminds me of another Father I have!)
When I was calm enough, my dad went downstairs to investigate. I was confident he could take down any aliens, robbers, or monsters he might encounter. Turns out it was just a metal tray which had been leaning against the wall. It had fallen to the floor and made that terrible noise. So my dad assured me everything was OK and I went back to bed...Safe and sound, knowing my hero was just down the hall.

So there you have it, my favorite memory of the best dad in the world. Stop on over to Annie's place to read accounts about other great dads.

You've Gotta Have Priorities

If you read the title of this post and thought I was going to be giving a sermonette from Matthew 6:33, But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well, I hope you won't be disappointed. As much as I believe that verse to be true and important, the priorities of which I am presently speaking are not spiritual at all.

This morning Matthew came downstairs for breakfast wearing his pajamas. He ate in his typical slow fashion and I eventually set the timer, telling him he needed to finish up and get dressed. He picked up his clothes and went into the bathroom - to change, I thought.
After a couple of minutes I peeked my head in to see how Matthew was progressing with getting dressed for school. He was sitting on the toilet with his pants around his ankles. That's when I saw he had pooped in his pull-up last night. (I honestly pondered my phrasing of that last sentence for a minute, but then I figured, We're all moms here, and decided you could probably handle my word choice!) Seeing his pull-up, I pretty well knew what his behind looked like, and determined he would need to hop in the shower before he got dressed. Soooo, I *encouraged* him to finish up and get in the shower.
Have I ever complained here about how slowly Matthew moves sometimes? OK, I realize some things can't be rushed, but as I looked at the clock and considered the fact we now had to add a shower to the morning routine before the car pool arrived, I just had to rush him along. So, into the shower he went.
Just as I turned the water off, Joshua called, "The carpool is here!" Ahhh! Matthew isn't dressed! "Please ask them to wait just a minute or two!" I called back.
Quickly, I helped Matthew dry off and get dressed. Well, his clothes helped a little too, by soaking up the drips the towel missed...As we got his shoes on and he stood up I looked at his hair, which was desperately in need of water and a comb, and realized he hadn't brushed his teeth yet either. Oh, forget it, I thought. I walked him to the door and wished him a good day as I kissed him goodbye.

Yes, I sent my son to school with bedhead and un-brushed teeth. But he was dressed, and he didn't smell like poop. And, hey, you've gotta have priorities!

The Centurion

When Jesus had finished saying all this in the hearing of the people, he entered Capernum. There a centurion's servant, whom his master valued highly, was sick and about to die. The centurion heard of Jesus and sent some elders of the Jews to him, asking him to come and heal his servant. When they came to Jesus, they pleaded earnestly with him, "This man deserves to have you do this, because he loves our nation and has built our synagogue." So Jesus went with them.
He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: "Lord, don't trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."
When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, "I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel." Then the men who had been sent returned to the house and found the servant well.
Luke 7:1-10

This passage from Luke is what I read during my quiet time this morning. I am familiar with this passage and have always been impressed by the centurion for having such great faith. This morning, however, I wondered why Jesus went to him in the first place.
When the Jewish elders came to Jesus, they said the centurion "deserved" to have Jesus come and heal his servant. Surely Jesus knew no one deserved to have Him come, but He went with them anyway. I wondered what motivated Him to go. Did He know what was going to happen next? Did He know the centurion would send others to say, "I'm not worthy!" and that he would display great faith? Did Jesus know He would be amazed by this man's faith?
As I continued to read this passage, I continued to ponder Jesus' motivation. I don't think it was the smooth talking of the Jewish elders. I wondered, was it foreknowledge of the man's faith, or was it Jesus' selfless love?

Then I had to turn the question onto myself. Jesus, why do You respond to me? I am a broken, unworthy woman. In my heart I desire to please You. I want to have a faith which amazes you. But Lord, I know I fall short! I believe it is Your selfless, stubborn love which causes You to respond to me. There is nothing worthy about me. I know that full well. Thank You, Jesus, for your perfect love!

So I walked through my day today dwelling on the truth that Jesus loves me, not because of anything I've done, but because it's what He's chosen to do. Ahhhh!

And, my friend, He's done the same for you. Isn't He wonderful?