Thursday, April 17, 2008

We Made It!

While I am quite sure every hour today lasted only 60 minutes, and each minute lasted only 60 seconds, there was one hour which seemed like a lifetime to me. In the midst of it, I wasn't sure if either Joshua or I would come out intact. At one point I wanted to pinch his head off, and at another time I thought I might pull out all my hair.
Joshua came home from school with an assignment which is due tomorrow, and a desire to do it right away so he could play with a particular friend. He got to work rather quickly, but the assignment was not going to be completed with as much speed. In fact, it required time and significant effort - neither of which Joshua wanted to give.
In his rush, he made some careless mistakes and became angry when I told him about the corrections he needed to make. I will spare you the details - partly because I really don't want to re-live them. Let's just say, it wasn't pretty. I honestly haven't seen Joshua that angry and upset in a very long time.
So there I was, trying to get dinner ready. Trying to help my frustrated, furious son with his report. Trying to answer my daughter's questions. Trying not to totally lose my temper and start yelling back.
I prayed, Lord, I know You are with me. I know You are here right now. Father, please help me through this moment. Please help me, Lord. I need You! And I breathed deeply.
Oh, I did a lot of deep breathing.
And I shed a few tears.

In spite of fits and yelling and crumbling paper, Joshua finally finished his assignment. In fact, once he managed to regain his self-control he completed the work rather quickly.
When he was finished I called for him to come into the kitchen with me. I hugged him and said, "We had a pretty rough time there, didn't we? But we made it through. I love you, Joshua." After how angry Joshua was with me and how frustrated I was with him, I felt it was important for us to reconcile and for me to remind him of my love. (I say this not so I will get comments about what a "good" mom I am - my level of frustration with Joshua today would clearly disqualify me from "good" mom status - but because the reconciliation was sweet, and I always want to encourage this in relationships.)
In the midst of the storm this afternoon, I honestly didn't know how we were going to make it through. But we made it. We really made it!

God is still in the business of performing miracles. *grin*

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Jodi said...

What a mighty God we serve!! I have had many, many of these same struggles in the last few weeks with my youngest.

Sheila said...

These are the kind of everyday struggles we all experience as moms and it's good to hear you share it and point out the sweetness of reconciliation!


Rachel said...

In moments like this for me, I throw dinner out the window. Since I can't throw my kids out the window, I get rid of the one thing I can. Ordering pizza or picking up something quick and cheap is what I fall back on. I'm proud of you for sticking with it tears and all!!

JanMary said...

Sounds very like an afternoon at our house. Every now and then we too have "happy hours" like that, when my eldest daughter and I clash. Thanks for sharing with us - a real encouragement that it's not just me!

luvmy4sons said...

I can so relate. I did a post this week about the very same kind of thing. Mine involved teaching my dyslexic, ADHD son that also has a language processing disorder. But those moments are SO hard. I also like to be sure to go back to a good place. I never can quite get rid of the condemnation that I wasn't such a great mom though when the rubber met the road!

Jean said...

I believe many of us have moments like that. I know I do and I thank you for sharing with us and for the reminder we all need.

Susan Kelly Skitt said...

Praise God, He is in the miracle business :) Smiling with you dear Mommy. I know the feeling :)

Rochelle said...

Oh did this bring back memories of homeschooling... Thankfully, we have not had a struggle with school work for a couple of months. Not if I could get her to pick up her clothes off her floor...

Shawna said...

My husband said one of the best things he remembers as a child was that when either of his parents disciplined him (or the other three siblings), they would always hold and comfort him after the fact even if he tried to pull away. They always reconciled the relationship, and I think that is so important. We both try to do that with Scamp, and I hope we continue to the older she gets. Thank you so much for sharing.