Thursday, March 12, 2009

Write Your Own Psalm, Day Four - Still Lamenting

Back again, I see! I'm so glad you're still hanging on, and I pray God is working in your heart as you write this psalm.
On this third day of lamenting, God lead me to look at myself. I had spent two days crying out to Him about my hurts, concerns, and fears regarding the people in my life and now He was calling me to look inside. Not always a pleasant thing, but I have learned to trust my Father and I know He knows what's best for me, so I looked:

Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am broken.
My heart is consumed with selfishness and pride. Though I want to be like You, there is so much of me to battle that You get pushed out.
My spirit grows weary from the battle. Lord, truly my spirit wants to be conformed to You, but my flesh - O my flesh - puts up such a fight.
I am selfish.
I am stubborn.
I am prideful.
I blame others for my inadequacies.
I am insecure - I care way too much about what other people think of me!
I am weak.
Yes, Lord, I am broken. Broken, indeed. And just thinking about my brokenness - how desperately I fall short of who You want me to be - Lord, those thoughts break me even more.
I want to be who You want me to be. But I am not there yet!
I know I need to change. I want to change. I don't want to be this broken woman anymore, Lord. I am sick and tired of her!

Lord, have I mentioned that I am also impatient?
I want what I want NOW. I want to be holy - like You - NOW.
Have mercy on me, a broken, impatient woman.

Now it's your turn again. How is God leading you today? Where is He asking you to look? Is there a lament in your heart you've been holding back? Spend time sitting with Him and allow God's Spirit to stir your thoughts. Then pour your heart out to Him again. Remember, He is your Safe Place.

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Jessica said...

Oh my gosh, I don't know how He's leading me, unless it's to sit on the couch all day with my sicko kids. Grrrr...
I bet I could make a lament out of that. LOL

Proverbs 27:19 said...

I'm scared Karen!


luvmy4sons said...

You have such a wonderful transparent humble heart!