Friday, January 27, 2012

Lessons From the Edge

If you know what to expect, you shouldn't be surprised when it happens.

Seems like a pretty common-sense kind of lesson, doesn't it? Er, one that shouldn't really need to be learned, since it ought to just be a given. But, you know - I'm a little slow. *ahem*

Fortunately, slow as I may be, I do eventually catch on.

There is this woman at Edgewood who tends to drive me a little crazy. She isn't a resident. And this week I had another encounter with her which left me feeling rather annoyed. As I walked away from the interaction I was mumbling to myself, Seriously??? Why does she always do that? Every.single.time!
That's when it hit me. She does that particular thing every time we are in that particular situation. Like clock-work. And it occurred to me, If I know she's going to do that, I shouldn't be surprised when she does it. In fact, I could just plan to go through it, and choose to not get annoyed by it. Yeah! That seems like such a better option!

Think about it with me a minute. Doesn't it make sense to choose a reasonable response ahead of time, if you already know what's going to happen? Why react negatively to a situation, as if you didn't know it was going to take place?
So this is my new resolve with regards to this certain co-worker: Because I know she has this behavior (which annoys me), and because I know when that behavior comes out, I am going to expect it - and I am not going to get annoyed. Period.

Because, if you know what to expect, you shouldn't be surprised when it happens.



angela said...

Omygoodness... I have this exact same situation with someone I have to deal with on a daily basis. My husband was just telling me yesterday the exact same thing. He said "We know that how that person is. They aren't going to do anything different so just accept it and don't get worked up about it..." I hated his advice, because well secretly I want that person to see how wrong they are and how right I am. But, I was thinking about what I always tell my 6 year old son when my 3 yr old son is always trying to argue something he really has no idea what he's talking about that 6 yo knows the truth there's no reason to argue... WHY can't I take my own advice???? For my situation it's my PRIDE!!! I hate humble pie, but I better learn to eat it so I don't choke on it!!! Loved the post... glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this!!! Thanks.

Patricia/NYC said...

Soooo TRUE!!! And like Angela above, my husband has told me this too & deep down I know it, but why can't I get it through my thick head?!? LOL!!! I definitely need more practice & a sincere effort on my part!! I'm going to do this!!

Have a GREAT weekend, Karen!

Jodi@ said... So true! We can't control others, but we can control how we react to them.


Irritable Mother said...

Angela - "but I better learn to eat it so I don't choke on it!!!"
You make a good point there. ;o)
(And sometimes it's easier to hear it from some to whom we are NOT married. *ahem*)

Patricia - It takes time, doesn't it? But eventually, we learn!

Jodi - My former pastor used to say this a lot, "My response is my responsibility." Yeah. But that one is hard to swallow sometimes. *sheepish grin*

gianna said...

Let us know how it goes! Because sometimes it's easy to know it but harder to live it!

The Laundress said...

It's hard for me when I expect stupidity from a certain coworker...and I'm shocked every time she's stupid.

Horrible. But true.

Any suggestions?