I was writing an email message last week and - after spending a few minutes laboring over a couple sentences - I deleted everything I'd just typed. It wasn't that my words were unkind, or untrue, or anything like that. But as I re-read them I asked myself, Do I really need to say this? And the answer was, No.
The thing is, last week's experience wasn't unique. Whether it's in an email or a blog post, sometimes I find myself saying things I just don't need to say. Maybe I re-read what I've written and realize I'm trying to justify myself or prove myself right and I don't like my motive. So I delete. Other times my review reveals a sense of pride which needs to be reigned in. Or a pity party which needs some truth-talk. *wink* Whatever problem I discover, I am always thankful for my delete button, and the ability to move forward as if I'd never written those words. Now, if only I could find a delete button for the times when I speak before I think. *ahem* Or maybe I should just write everything down before I say it. Hmmmm. I'm not alone in this issue, am I?
10 comments:
No dear sweet friend, you are not alone. My mouth gets me in more trouble. My daddy used to tell me that my mouth writes checks my butt can't cash. Kind of crude but oh so true! Hope you have a great week!
Karen, I definitely relate to the "delete" button issue. Don't you find though it can be a difficult thing to separate our own motives with wholesome truth advice? At least I notice in my own experiences, that is where I have got into trouble. Sometimes, I think it is a matter of our heart. If we are telling people something and it is coming from a place of good intention and a loving heart, then those we are communicating too should be more understanding (and forgiving if they are offended). Yet I do agree with you, sometimes it takes us stopping and checking ourselves, "do I really need to say that?" I have found that sometimes, it is better to not say anything at all, but just be there to listen. Sometimes I need to just be a friend and listen. However, it is hard for me because I think I'm similar to you, where I'm a communicator, so I like people's advice and feedback. When you discover the speaking delete button invention, he he....send me one too! ok, now Im really off to my studies! hugs***chera
You are SO not alone in this one and I know you've had enough conversations with me to recognize that I need to do the same thing. :)
This is part of what it means to take captive every thought. Sometimes it is SOOOOO hard. LOL!
I found your post through Edie's FB link.
Just had to share this awesome quote with you because it goes along 100% with what you have said.
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." (Dorothy Nevill)
Ginny - Oh, the image you have just put into my head. LOL!
Chera - Finding the balance, that is the challenge. To be sure.
I was a communication major in college and often laugh at what a pathetic communicator I can be. *sigh* But getting into the habit of speaking slowly is a great help.
Yeah. If I find that button I'll be so rich I can personally deliver yours. haha!
Edie - Taking the thoughts captive is hard enough. Sometimes keeping our words captive is another game altogether. *sigh*
Patti - So glad you stopped by. Thanks for sharing that quote. It's a keeper!
Amen, Karen! I know I have deleted my fair share of emails, FB posts, etc. I am VERY grateful for that delete button!
I really like the quote Patti shared. Now THAT'S worthy of a FB post. :-)
You are definitely NOT alone. I need to just zip my lips more often and write everything down before I speak. Love this post.
I was just worked up in aggravation over a situation and I wrote a blog post about it. I use my blog to process thoughts frequently so posting about this topic wasn't out of the ordinary for me. That said, I was just in the bathroom (one of the only places I can think in peace some days) and this post of yours came to mind. And I came back and I deleted my post. I trashed it because your question of "Do I really need to say this?" struck me. I don't know if my motives were pure in my posting. I highly doubt the other party would ever see that post but I can't be sure. And though I'm worked up a bit *right this second*, I do realize that I can wait until I can get good advice privately. Patience is a virtue, right?
Thanks for posting on this topic. Now if you can post about wounded egos and taking offense next... ;)
Beth - Grateful, yes!
And, thanks be to GOD, there are times when I don't say something, and moments later I am thanking HIM for holding my tongue.
Leah - I heard of a woman who had some condition which caused her to loose her voice for a long time. Had to write down every.thing.she.wanted.to.say. Wow! How much paper would I crumble up and throw away? Sounds like a good exercise.
Kaira - Actually, writing can be therapeutic for me. Sometimes I NEED to write out my frustration/aggravation so it gets out in a constructive manner. Better to hit the delete button than plow someone over with my words.
I'll work on that wounded ego/taking offense thing. *wink*
Writing that post did help me to get through the overwhelming frustration I was feeling. It was pretty much consuming my thoughts and writing about it helped. But deleting it was the right thing to do too, I didn't feel worse for deleting it. Keeping it posted on the web didn't make things any better. I'm thankful for your timely post that came to memory at just the right time. :)
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