Feeling the Love!

Yes, I am certainly feeling the love today.

For one, it is my fifteenth wedding anniversary! It's been a busy day and I've hardly seen my hubby, but we're going to have some quality time here pretty soon. Yep. Going over to one of our rental houses to clean together. Sounds romantic, eh? Well, it's go to be done.
We'll, uh, celebrate later. *wink*

And JanMary is making me feel the love, too. She has given me this award:This award originated from Memoirs of a Mommy, and the rules for sharing the love are simple.
SHARE THE LOVE!!! Share this award with the blogs out there that you love. The people who make you smile, who make you laugh, who make your day, who leave uplifting comments for you! She simply asks you to leave a link to her post with the award, and ask your recipients to do the same.

And now, I am going to share the love with four precious blogging friends who make me feel loved, who make me glad to be in the blogosphere, and who make me wish there was a way I could fly all over the country and be able to meet them in person.

Amanda from I Am Mommy

Dierdre from screamofcontinuousness

Angela from Becoming Me

Stacey from Keep Going

And if I didn't name you, please don't be offended. I love you all and am thankful for your kindness to me, always.

Close to Finding Joy!

I am so close to sending my book to the printer, I can hardly stand it.
*big grin*
Carol Kent read my manuscript and sent me an endorsement last week. Have you ever read Carol's books, or heard her speak? She is an outstanding Christian woman and it thrills me to no end to have her endorsement.
This is what she said:

If you ever feel like being a mother is the best and the worst of all possible jobs, this is the devotional for you! In Finding Joy: More Confessions of an Irritable Mother, Karen Hossink reminds all of us to stop long enough to listen to God’s voice in the middle of frustration, interruptions, household noise, constant questions, and everyday chaos. This book will let you know you are not alone and will give you renewed hope and courage as you face the daily challenges of being a mom. Don’t miss it!

Carol Kent, Speaker and Author
When I Lay My Isaac Down (NavPress)
A New Kind of Normal (Thomas Nelson)

At this point, it looks like Finding Joy will be available in October. I'll keep you posted!

HE Watches

He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
Psalm 121:3-4

It is the desire of my heart to become holy. I want to be a godly woman - to be a reflection of Him to the world around me. But last night I found myself thinking, No, God. I don't want to be like You in this way!

The "this way" to which I was referring was the neither-slumber-nor-sleep way.

(For those of you with infants who are not sleeping through the night yet, please forgive my whining. But I did my time with that already, and now I just want to sleep when it's nighttime!)

It started right away when I went to bed. Joshua had a friend spend the night and they were up late, making lots of noise. We finally told them it was time to be quiet and go to sleep, because they were keeping Brian and I awake. I thought that would do it.

Ha!

I spent the next hour or so dealing with a nosy little brother who wanted to spy on his big brother's sleep over. Joshua was irritated. By this time I could tell he was quite tired and really wanted to go to sleep, but Matthew was keeping him up. When I finally got smart, I took Matthew's Nintendo DS away. Oooooo, he was not happy with me for that one. But he stayed in bed from that point on!

And I? Finally fell asleep.

Until a very tired and upset Joshua came to me in tears and woke me up again. It seems his friend couldn't fall asleep in his sleeping bag on the floor so Joshua gave up his bed. And now, while his friend was asleep, Joshua was stuck in a state of frustrated awake-ness. He wanted to know if he could come sleep on the floor in my room.
I didn't understand how my floor would be any more comfortable than his own, but he was desperate and I was tired. So I said he could come in.
Joshua lay on my floor sneezing and sniffling and I got up to give him a tissue. (Partly for his own comfort. Mostly because I knew there was no way I was going to fall back to sleep if he continued sniffling.) When I gave him the tissue, he asked for a drink of water. I went and got that for him.
After I gave Joshua the water I sat down on the floor and started scratching his back and playing with his hair. (Two activities which usually serve to relax him and lull him to sleep.) And he was weeping. I said, "I know, honey. I'm having a hard time getting to sleep tonight, too." After a brief pause Joshua said - through increasing tears, "Is it because of me?"
And I regretted making that statement.
I just mumbled something about it not being all because of him, and I began praying. It was as I sat there with Joshua - wondering if I would be able to get any sleep at all - that my ind went to Psalm 121. I thought about the fact that God neither slumbers nor sleeps. Rather, HE watches over us all day and night. He never takes His eyes off of us.
I knew at that very moment God was watching over me as I was trying to calm and comfort my uptight little boy. I knew He was going to give me - somehow - the rest I needed. And I prayed over and over, Please, Father, bring sleep to Joshua tonight. Please calm him and comfort him, and bring him peace.
In spite of my sleepiness I found comfort in knowing God was awake with me, watching over Joshua and me, and not wishing I would go to sleep soon so that HE could go to bed Himself.
He lovingly and patiently watched us all night long.
And He did bring sleep over both of us. *relieved sigh*

The LORD watches over you -
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm -
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Psalm 121:5-8

He's watching you today. Rejoice!

HE Runs

It has delighted my heart to have God show Himself to me in so many ways - thus leading to this "HE" series, which I never intended to start...but I have to go where He leads me! I have been so grateful to God for the ways He has spoken through my most recent post, HE Comforts. If you missed it, click on over and let God speak His love to you.

I woke up this morning, knowing I needed to go running. I have sort of been too lazy busy to run much over the past week or so, and before not running becomes a habit again I knew I needed to get going.
So I did.
As I ran, and enjoyed my iPod, I prayed, and realized how much I was enjoying being with God. Really. I talked with Him and just knew He was running with me.
When I was getting tired and wanted to quit I prayed and asked Him to give me strength, and - seeing the parallel - I asked Him to strengthen me in mothering when I'm tired and I want to quit there, too.
As I was going up a hill, and really wanted to quit, I asked God to call me onward and push me forward. I prayed, Be before me and behind me. Then I smiled and added, And beside me.
I continued on and God brought several people to my mind for whom I needed to pray. As I was getting more tired and thought more about quitting, God was reminding me of friends in tiring situations who are having a hard time persevering. So I prayed for them. God reminded me His power is made perfect in our weakness, so I prayed that He would display His power in the lives and circumstances of these friends of mine - in the midst of their weakness.

I ran a little bit longer than a 5K this morning, and it delighted my heart to consider that HE runs. God was with me every step of the way. It was a sweet time of fellowship as His Spirit prompted me to pray for people and as I truly sensed Him giving me the strength to continue on. And the thing is, God doesn't just run.
HE cleans bathrooms.
HE goes shopping.
HE changes diapers.
HE prepares meals.
HE goes to work.
Whatever you are doing, no matter how mundane, no matter how "nonspiritual," God is right there with you. And I believe He longs to have fellowship with you in every.single.moment.
God is before you, behind you, and beside you. Enjoy His presence today!

E-mailing with Joshua

For at least a year, Joshua had been asking us if he could have an email account. I kept putting him off, telling him he didn't need it and coming up with any excuse I could to avoid the subject. Don't know why I was against it - except that I'm a little slow, remember?
Anyway, a friend of ours told us about an email account especially for kids called Zoobuh. We looked into it, liked it, tried it, and are happily using it now. There are all kinds of safety controls with Zoobuh - my favorite being that Brian gets a copy of every single email Joshua sends or receives.
So we got him all set up and, in spite of my reluctance in the beginning, I absolutely love that Joshua has email. For one, he loves to correspond with my grandma via email. (Yes, my 90-year-old grandmother is a savvy internet user.) She sends him jokes and cute attachments almost every day and he just loves it. He also has fun sending and receiving email with his grandma Hossink.
One day recently, I was remembering that I used to write letters to my grandpa when I was a little girl and I loved getting mail from him. I thought, Gee, wouldn't it be fun if my kids did that with their grandparents? And then I realized that correspondence is happening. A la 2008!

But the thing I love most about Joshua having email is the messages he and I send to each other. Like this one I wrote after we'd had a rough nighttime.

Hi Joshua,

I know you like to get email, so I am hoping you will be willing to read these words carefully.

I told you today it isn’t easy being a mom. I want to be wise and make right decisions in how I am raising you. Sometimes I will make mistakes. I know I won’t always get it right. But I want you to know I will always do my best.
Every decision I make for you, every time I discipline you for something, please know I am trying to do what is best for you. It is NOT my goal to ruin your life or to waste your time by talking to you about your behavior or attitude. I love you, Joshua, and I always want the very best for you.

Love,
Mom

And this was his reply.

YES I READ YOUR MESSAGE CAREFULLY AND I KNOW YOU DONT WANT TO RUIN MY LIFE AND YOU ARE DOING A GOOD JOB I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER LOVE ME AND YOU ROCK MORE THAN ME.
LOVE, JOSHUA

OK, he needs to work on punctuation, but I can see his heart even without periods and commas.
The thing is, in the heat of the moment it usually isn't a good time to say the things I really want to say. But when I send an email - since he loves to receive email - he is happy to read what's on my heart. It's a good thing. *grin*
Joshua frequently asks me to send him an email, so I have been typing out lots of memory verses or short testimonies of how God is showing Himself to me. Yes, I am seeing this "modern mode" of communication can be a really good thing. Some may say it's cold and impersonal. I disagree. (Joshua usually takes time to personalize his emails to me in pretty colors!) Besides, it works. We're in the computer age and that's how my son likes to "talk." So I'm going to meet him where he's at.

My Job Description

OK, I freely admit I am not always, er, often, er, ever the quickest to catch on to things. It usually takes me a while to get into what's "new" - to the extent that I tend to get into what's "been around." All that to say, I finally got myself onto Facebook last week.
I must say, it's been fun getting in touch with some friends from high school. (Hard to believe my 20th class reunion will take place next summer!) But the most fun for me was in writing my job description. What do you think?

On duty 24/7; limited breaks, two days vacation per year guaranteed.
Must be willing to love short people who will insult you (or compliment you, depending on how you look at it...) by calling you "mean."
Cooking, cleaning, laundering, helping with homework, moderating, board-game playing, and occasional tree climbing are required activities.
KEY RESPONSIBILITY IS TRAINING OF THE NEXT GENERATION. You would do well to realize early on that you are incapable of successfully executing this requirement. Fall fully into the arms of God, knowing His grace is sufficient and trusting Him to lead you.

So there you have it! I'm a mom. That's what I "do."

And soon, I will tell you about a great way I have "gotten with the times" in communicating with my son. Fun stuff!

HE Comforts

This morning as I was getting dressed, I put my hand in my pocket and found a verse which I had left there the last time I wore these shorts. As it always is, God's timing was perfect. I read these words and knew God was speaking to my heart today - just as He did the day I choose to carry this verse the first time.

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.
Psalm 94:19

I don't know about you, but I am quite familiar with anxiety. No need for me to study that word any further.
But consolation? When I hear that word, I think consolation prize - loser. And I began to wonder how being a loser applies to this verse, so I grabbed my handy Webster's Dictionary and looked up "consolation." This is what it said: the act or an instance of consoling: the state of being consoled: COMFORT.
And I put the definition into the verse. What do you think about this?

When anxiety was great within me, your act of comforting me brought joy to my soul.

I read this verse and am reminded that our concerns matter to God. When we are anxious about something, God doesn't turn His head away and expect us to figure out a solution. According to this verse, He comforts us.
What do you suppose He might say? Imagine with me.

My precious child, I know you are concerned about this situation. I know you have been waiting for an answer. I know it doesn't seem like I'm moving, and sometimes you wonder if I have forgotten you. Beloved, I have not forgotten. And I am moving. Dear one, though My timing does not make sense to you right now, though you are having a hard time waiting because you cannot see the end - as I can, though you doubt if you are going to make it through this trial, I am asking you to trust Me. Be anxious for nothing, child, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to Me. (Phil. 4:6) I am listening. I love you. And in My perfect time, I will bring an end to your waiting. Just trust Me, darling. Trust My love for you.

Are you needing this comfort today? I have several friends who are in waiting patterns right now. One friend has a daughter with a blood disease - which they thought would be healed by now. Another friend is waiting to adopt her daughter and is facing one obstacle after another. There is a family at my church whose son is suffering from a brain illness and they have been watching inch-worm-slow progress over the past year, waiting for this boy's full recovery. Some of you may be familiar with Leslie's story. (If you aren't, click over there are pray for her!)
I pray for each of these families regularly. Yes, I pray for healing and the resolution of their situations. But today I am reminded God will comfort them in the middle of their waiting - their anxiety - and I know He will work good from the waiting through which they must go, as He comforts them and brings joy to their souls.

And you, my friend? Are you waiting for something today? Is anxiety great within you? Please receive the comfort God is offering to you. He loves you so much, and I know He will bring the waiting to an end. In His perfect time.

Today I'm a Guest Writer!

My friend, Angela, has set up a website for the women at her church. One of the features of the site is a weekly devotion, and Angela asked me if I would like to be a guest writer for them. I think it was the very next day when God gave me an idea for my first devotion for Gateway Girlfriends Unlimited. And it's been posted. Go on over and take a look!

Back to Reality - Refreshed!

Women of Faith was super. I'm home now. Back to reality. Today's laundry is almost finished. (I should be folding rather than blogging, but I have confidence the clothes will still be waiting for me when I'm finished here.) Been to the grocery store. Need to return a phone call. Hold on!

OK. That's done.

Yes - I'm back to reality. For fifty-seven hours I did not have to answer to anyone else or be concerned with anything other than finding my way to the hotel, the arena, and my seat. And it was wonderful. I am refreshed.

*satisfied sigh*

I laughed a lot over the weekend. I heard godly wisdom coming from the mouths of wonderful speakers. And the music? Was fabulous!
But more than the fine presentations and catchy songs, I was taken by the women who stood upon that platform. Specifically, I was drawn to God who has done amazing things in the lives of these women.
First, there was Pasty Clairmont: a hilariously funny woman who speaks God's Truth clearly and effectively, and with authority - even though she was a high school drop-out, she doesn't have any seminary degrees, and she is a recovering agoraphobic who knows what it means to be paralyzed by fear. In spite of her "lack of credentials" and her past fear of open spaces, this child of God takes the stage and proclaims His Word. Patsy's testimony of what God has done in her intensifies the godly things that come out of her mouth.
Second, there was Nicole C. Mullen. I had heard her music on the radio before, and liked it. And music is very big with me. But forget the music for just a moment. I love Nicole C. Mullen's heart! She has a mentoring program in which she reaches out to kids. She's teaching them to dance and sing. She's teaching them the Word of God and is helping these kids grow in love and knowledge of the Lord. Six of them were with her at the conference this weekend and I simply loved seeing these kids dancing and singing their hearts out for God.
Then there was Ayiesha Woods. Again - I've heard her music before. I've liked it. Yes, I enjoyed hearing it this weekend and singing along. But what struck me about Ayiesha wasn't the music. It was the relationship I could see between her and her "little brother." (That's what she called him, though he was not smaller.) Just by watching them sing and dance and worship God together, it was clear Donald and Ayiesha love the Lord and love each other.

As I observed these women (and Donald!) I was reminded God can do amazing things. Our credentials don't matter. Pasty reminded me that God does extraordinary things through ordinary people. And this is a lesson with which I constantly need to be reminded. When I start thinking, Who am I to be speaking or writing? Who am I to think I have anything of worth to offer anyone? God assures me who I am doesn't matter. He is the only One who matters. And He is Enough.
Nicole reminded me how fun it is to dance. As I considered what a cool Mom she must be (She has several kids!) my commitment to loving my kids right where they are - and my desire to build into them - was renewed. God reminded me, though I am not perfect and not as "cool," He will use me to bless and train up my children.
And Ayiesha and Donald gave me hope for my own kids. They have me praying that God will grow Elizabeth, Joshua, and Matthew in their love for one another.

Yep. It was a great weekend. God was present and active - loving me, and every other woman in that arena.
And now? I'm ready to tackle the laundry. *grin*

That Was Fun!

Did you hear it???

Last night I did my interview on We Love Girl Talk, and had a great time. I hope you were able to join us for the live broadcast but in case you missed it, here's the link you can use to download the interview or listen to it on your computer.

Now I'm off to the Women of Faith conference. Have a blessed day!

Time to Get Away

In less than twenty-four hours, I am outta here!!! Yes, tomorrow at this time I will be in the middle of a four-hour car trip by.my.self. I will be on my way to heaven Cleveland, OH, where I am attending the Women of Faith conference.

Four years ago Brian was at a conference for work and was placed in a hotel room all by himself. *sniff, sniff* When he told me about it on the phone I could not understand the disappointment in his voice. I thought a couple nights in a hotel room alone sounded wonderful. My mind started working and I started searching the internet.
I discovered that in a few weeks Women of Faith was coming to Michigan. Though I had never been to Women of Faith I had heard good things about it, and I really needed to get away for a while. So I did some checking around for information and when Brian came home I had a proposal for him. I said, since he got to have a few days away and a hotel room all to himself, I thought I should get to go away, too. My husband is wonderful and he agreed. *grin*
I went to the conference and had such a great time that we decided it would be an annual "thing" for me. Once a year I get to go away - completely by myself - and I love it. Don't get me wrong. I love being with other people. But there is just something wonderful about going away by myself that really picks me up.
It may seem strange, but somehow I feel even closer to God when I'm alone. I talk with Him more. I am more aware of His presence. Since there is no one else "looking out" for me, I think I rely on Him more. It's like everywhere I go I am mindful of His arm around my shoulders - guiding me.

Is it time to go yet???

So, anyway, dinners for the next three nights are in the fridge, ready for Brian and the kids. I have printed out directions to the hotel and have my tickets. Still need to pack. Can't wait to go!

And, shortly after I get settled in my hotel room I'll be calling in to do my interview on WLGT. Remember to click the BlogTalkRadio button and join me Thursday night at 8:00. Even though I am going to be having my "alone time," I would love to talk with you on the show! (Just don't call me "Mom" or ask me if you can have a snack. *grin*)

It's Happening!

**If you live in New York, Massechusetts, Pennsylvania or New Jersey and you didn't see yesterday's post please take a moment to read it now. Thanks!**

I stayed up way too late last night. But it was for a good cause, and I just couldn't go to bed.
I met with my book designer this morning to give her my manuscript for Finding Joy, so she can work her magic and turn it into a book. Which means, last night I had to give it one more read-through. I wanted to make sure everything was just right before turning it over. And, as any mom knows, it's hard to concentrate with little people around, so I didn't get much work done until everyone was in bed.
But I got it done, and now Suzette is doing her thing.
And my cover designer expects to have two book covers for me to look at any day now. I can't wait to see what he's come up with!
I have two endorsement statements and am waiting on one more.
The ISBN and Library of Congress Control Number are secure.
And I already know which printer I'm going to use - the same one who did Confessions. So as soon as Suzette has the lay-out done and I know how many pages the book will be, I'll be in contact with the printer.

Everything is coming together, and I am getting so excited. Many people have likened publishing a book to having a baby, and I fully agree with the analogy. This baby is growing and I can't wait until it's born!
I'm even thinking about a fun "birth announcement" to share with you. Stay tuned! *grin*

Can You Help a Child Next Month?

I just received an email from a representative of The Fresh Air Fund. This is an organization which provides free summer vacations to inner-city children, and they are desperately in need of host families for their August camps. A website has been set up here with all the details.
This sounds like such a great opportunity to make a difference in the life of a child. I was already going through August in my mind, wondering if we could host one of these children. Then I saw the camp locations and realized Michigan isn't an option. *sigh*
But, if you're in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, or New York, and you have room in your heart to love on a child in need next month, please visit this link and consider hosting a child.

He Has an Answer

Perhaps you recall my delay in the Atlanta airport on Mother's Day. I told you about a man I met, named Mick. His son had been serving in Iraq, and had been missing for an entire year.
Laura gave me a link to a news article which has the report that Byron's body has been located. So now Mick has an answer. Surely not the one he was hoping for, but an answer nonetheless.
Please join me in praying that God would make His presence very real to Mick - and the rest of Byron's family - and that He would comfort all of them with His love.
Thank you.

What NOT To Do

If you are a mother prone to irritability, with tendencies pointing toward perfectionism; and if these conditions are intensified by 8 and 10 year-old boys who act like, um, 8 and 10 year-old boys, I have some very specific instructions for things you should not do.

If you are a mother like the one mentioned above, and your husband owns a personal training studio, and he has an idea that it would be a nice touch to have you and your boys come in and wash his clients' vehicles while they are doing their work-out, don't agree to it.
Your boys might be excited that their dad is going to pay them for washing these vehicles, but you really don't want to do it. Because what will likely happen is the boys will think the work is fun the first time around. In fact, they'll probably work at it really hard and do a great job, and make you think the day you spend washing cars is going to be great.
But chances are, they'll lose interest by the time you start the second car. They might start arguing with each other and complaining that their brother is not working hard enough. And when one brother accidentally gets some of the wash water on the other, the offended brother will likely throw an angry fit. He will throw the fit about his "wet-ness" in spite of the fact he purposely gets in the way of the water you spray out of the hose - even when you expressly tell him to get out of the way.

And when these things occur, you will question your state of mind at the time you agreed to this car-washing bit. So you probably just shouldn't do it.

Because later in the day these boys will likely need to use the restroom. And even if you allow them to enter the studio one at a time, so as not to disturb the clients who are trying to endure enjoy their personal training session, they will find a way to be disruptive (By hiding around the corner and shooting off their pretend gun, or something.) and make you regret letting them go in. Surely, one of the bushes out back would have worked just as well. So, don't let them go in.

And if you need to leave momentarily to drive the client's sparkling clean car to the front of the building, even if you tell the boys to sit on the stoop and behave, don't do it. Ask your husband to do the driving. Because, even if the boys say they'll behave, they'll probably grab the hose and start spraying the dumpster and whatever else catches their fancy. But if you're lucky there will be no additional cars parked nearby to receive the random sprays.
Of course, each boy will be eager to point out the misdeeds of the other and you will tire of hearing it. So just don't leave them alone. You'll regret it.

Finally, at the end of the day, when you're home and hurrying to get the finishing touches put on dinner so everyone can eat, when you've been reminding the boys they need to set the table, when you're tired of answering questions, tired of listening to bickering, and just plain tired, and your son says, "Mom?" by all means - Don't answer him abruptly and with a short temper. Because, chances are he just wants you to turn around so he can hug you and say, "I love you."

That was my day. How was yours???

HE Forgives

When I wrote HE Speaks, I was not intending to start a series. But my plans are not always His plans. (Oh, that could be another post ~ HE Decides!) I have found His plans are always better.

And last night God spoke to me about another post to write for you.

HE Forgives.

It was after 10 o'clock and I was trying to get the boys to bed. Joshua went rather willingly, but Matthew put up a fight. He complained that he wasn't tired and wouldn't be able to fall asleep. He said it wasn't fair for me to make him stay in bed. He got out of bed several times to protest.
We stood in the kitchen and Matthew was yelling at me. I interrupted him to make a statement and he yelled at me for interrupting. He said he had wasn't finished talking and I "had to listen." I informed my defiant little friend that I was finished listening to him, and nothing he was going to say would change his bed time. I reminded him clearly and firmly that his summer bed time is 10 o'clock, he must listen to me and obey, and if he got out of bed again there would be consequences to pay.
With that, Matthew turned to go to his room and on the way he yelled, "I am not going to listen to you tomorrow or the next day, either!"

And with that, I went to my room to get myself ready for bed.

Four or five minutes had passed since Matthew's proclamation and I was in my bathroom washing my face. Suddenly I noticed a visitor at my door.
I looked down, and there was Matthew. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and simply said, "I'm sorry." And as he spoke I could hear the tears in his voice. It was very obvious to me that the Holy Spirit had been operating on the heart of my defiant little friend for the past four or five minutes, and I felt my own tears coming as I savored his repentant heart.
I returned his embrace, rubbed his head and assured him, "I forgive you."
Five words exchanged. Not much of a conversation. But so much went between us in those moments. It was wonderful.

As I stood there with Matthew holding tightly to me - and he was holding tightly! - I couldn't help but recognize the picture God was painting for me of Himself.
Just as I didn't stop loving Matthew when he was fighting me on bedtime, God doesn't stop loving us when we are rebelling against Him. And just as I was willing to forgive his defiance and rebellion when Matthew approached me with a repentant heart, God freely forgives us, too.
The trembling in Matthew's voice as he apologized and the tension which left him when I said, "I forgive you," told me how sorry he was and how much he wanted reconciliation. In my mind I was thinking, Matthew, of course I will forgive you. You are my son and I love you. I will always forgive you, my child.

And I smiled as I realized my ability to forgive is so far superseded by God's. I can forgive an offense, but God? HE really forgives.

***I don't want to ruin the "mood" of this post, but I do want to give you a bit more information about the interview I am doing on WLGT Blog TalkRadio on July 17. You can click on the blog talkradio button in my sidebar at 8:00 pm EST (Better yet, make it 7:55 so you have time to get acquainted with their site!) to listen in. And you will notice a call in number...I hope lots of you will pick up your telephones and call in to participate in the interview. I think it would be so much fun to talk with you!!!

HE Knows What We Need

Recently my children have been saying things like, "You don't care about me!" when Brian or I are disciplining them. Sometimes they have been getting angry with us for not giving in to their ways.
On occasion I find myself considering whether I should just "let them be kids" and turn my eyes away from childish behavior, or stand firm and require them to respond obediently. I wonder if I am expecting too much, if I am being too rigid, if I just need to loosen up a bit. Then I read things like Proverbs 19:18.

Discipline your son, for in that there is hope;
do not be a willing party to his death.

And I know the loving thing to do is to train my children in the ways that are right. Sometimes it will be hard and they won't like the things I say or make them do, but I do not want to be a willing party to their death.

Well, this afternoon the "You don't care about me!" lines were flying around again. So I decided to take an opportunity we had this evening before going to church, and we had attempted to have a family discussion. I had my Bible opened up to Proverbs 19:18 and hoped to talk about it together with Brian and my children. With all my heart, I just wanted my kids to understand that the reason Brian and I discipline them is because we want to raise them well. We don't want to be a willing party to their death. (And I truly thought that particular illustration would help them understand.)
However, Joshua and Matthew couldn't stop looking at each other. And seeing each other made them laugh. They could not control their silliness. Brian and I took turns telling them to listen and stop looking at each other. Conveying this lesson was so important to me and I was getting very frustrated. I wanted to stop mid-sentence and send them to their rooms, but at the same time I wanted them to be there because the lesson was for them. Talk about being torn!
Many times I prayed that God would help me say the right thing, help the boys listen, help them stop being silly, just help!

We somewhat finished talking about the verse, and I knew we needed to pray. But I couldn't do it. I was too close to tears. So as we gathered in a circle, Brian prayed for Elizabeth, Joshua, and Matthew - as children, and the two of us - as parents.
And I? Stood there crying. Telling Jesus how much I love my children and how desperately I want to raise them well. I begged Him for wisdom and reminded Him one more time how much I love my children and how desperately I want to raise them well.

Then we went to church, and God showed me that He knows what we need.

Our pastor was preaching from Philippians 4:13.

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Right away he got us thinking about that situation in our lives which causes us to think, I can't! and confirmed the truth of our evaluation. That is, I can't.
On my own, I cannot do it - whatever it may be. (And for me, the "it" which was fresh on my mind was training my children.)
But I am not on my own. The Holy Spirit is living in me, and by His strength I can do everything.
I sat listening to my pastor's words, and I am sure God was speaking right to my heart - because He knows what I need. God very clearly reminded me of the fact He loves my children more than I do, and He will give me the strength and wisdom and endurance I need as a mother to raise these children He has entrusted to me.

I know for sure I cannot do this mothering thing alone. But that's okay. Because I am not alone. God is with me. And I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

How about you, my friend? Is there a situation in your life right now which has you saying, "I can't"?
Well, you're right.
You can't.
But God can, and He knows what you need. Will you trust Him?

**Updated to add**
Saturday night during "Family Prayer Time" we talked about Proverbs 19:18 again. The kids seemed to remember what we talked about earlier, and I do believe an understanding is coming. Whew!

HE Laughs

For several weeks now I have been saying I think I could "handle" running so much better if I had an ipod. Something about music makes painful things tolerable to me.
Well, my dear husband had an ipod at work and last night he brought it home. We sat on the couch and loaded some songs from my favorite CDs and a couple more from itunes, and this morning I found out how much music truly helps me run.
I got up, got my running gear on, figured out the ipod and was on my way. And Sandi Patty, Keith Green, and Barry Manilow came with me. We had a blast!
As I was running and listening to some of my favorite tunes, I was reminded God laughs. I had the ipod set to play the songs randomly and I am just sure God was picking the order of play. I imagine He was smiling as He watched me gliding along listening to Sandi Patty sing "You Set Me Free," and when I was laughing at Keith Green's silliness in "He'll Take Care of the Rest."
Then there was Barry Manilow singing "Chatanooga Choo Choo." I love this song and as I ran I sort of moved my arms like a kid pretending to be a train. I am such a dork! But it was early enough - I'm sure God was the only one watching. And HE laughs.
As I turned the corner to begin a long, straight stretch, Keith started singing, "Oh, you can run to the end of the highway and not find what you're looking for." I'm sure I heard Him laugh at that one, and simply said, "Thanks for the encouragement!"
But the best laugh came as I finished running up a fairly long hill. I had turned around to head home and literally as I began the downhill descent Keith's voice rang through my ears, "Thank You, Jesus!" I laughed out loud, and echoed Keith's words.

Many times God uses music to lift me up when I am down, to minister hope to me, or to speak His love. Today I am sure He was using it to laugh with me.

And I am sure of one other thing. Having an ipod is going to help me enjoy running!

Mark Your Calendar!

I am so excited!

On July 17 I am doing a live interview on We Love Girl Talk, BlogTalkradio. (See the button in my sidebar to the right!) I will post a bit more information about it in the days to come, but I wanted to get it "on your screen" today. You'll be able to call in during the show and we can talk with each other.

It's going to be fun, and I hope you'll join me!

HE Speaks

*great big, satisfied sigh*

*peaceful grin*

I have just had a wonderful weekend.

Wonderful.

The house was quiet, and I got tons of scrapbooking done. (I'm now working on events from 14 months ago, but I feel good about it. Really. I was back-logged 26 months when I got started!)
But that isn't the part of the weekend which has me smiling today. The part of my weekend bringing me this joy is the time I spent with Brian.
We went to dinner and a movie Friday night. Went out to dinner again Saturday (Using up gift cards we received for Christmas...) and took a nice walk around our neighborhood. Surrounding those events, we spent a fair amount of time just sitting and talking.
As we sat talking after our walk Saturday, Brian said, "It's been nice just hanging out with you this weekend."
I smiled at him and agreed, but he wasn't finished talking and what he said next rather took me by surprise. He said for the past couple weeks he has felt neglected by me. Brian said sometimes he wondered if I even noticed him.
I'm sure my mouth was hanging open as I was listening to these words, because it just wasn't clicking with me. I know I don't always give him all the attention he wants, but I do my best and to hear him say he wondered if I even noticed him seemed a little extreme. It wasn't making sense to me.
We spent the next little while talking about his thoughts. I apologized and tried to explain my perspective. In the end, Brian said he knew he shouldn't have kept this all to himself for so long. He said he had told God, "She listens to You. You tell her!" And God answered (as Brian put it), "I'm not talking to her about this, buddy. You've got to do it."
So he did.
And I was glad.
But after our conversation had ended I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wondered, How can I be enough? How can I be all the mom my children need, and all the wife Brian needs? I'm trying, but I'm not enough. And then His Spirit reminded me we've been over this very thing before, and I prayed, Lord, I need You to make me enough. I know I cannot do this without You. Please help me to be all they need me to be.
That night, every time I woke up (which seemed to happen more often than usual...) I was thinking about Brian and about the conversation we had. God was reminding me that, yes, I do need to be more intentional about loving Brian.
I think about him and pray for him all day. (The kids have posted papers all over the house which say "11:11," and they point it out whenever it's on the clock. Sometimes Matthew will even say something like, "Mom, look at the clock in 1 hour and 5 minutes so you can pray for Dad.") I realized that because of how much Brian is on my mind when he isn't around the house, it simply never occured to me that I may be neglecting him when he is home. Though I didn't mean to shut Brian out, God was showing me I had been doing it.

Sunday morning as Brian and I were getting ready for church, God had one more thing to say to me about the matter. I was reaching into the pocket of my skirt (Which I haven't worn since last summer, or maybe the summer before!) and I found a scripture verse I'd left there. Or, which God had placed there "for such a time as this." It was 1 Timothy 6:20, "Guard what has been entrusted to your care."
I smiled at Him and said, Yes, Lord. I will guard this marriage. I will love my husband. Thank You for making me enough.

A little while later I told Brian, "He's speaking to me about you now. I think you just needed to go first." And I gave him a great big kiss.

*grin*

You already knew I am not a perfect mom. Well, I am not a perfect wife, either. That's why I am so glad I serve a perfect God. He knows just what we need, and He brings it about at the perfect time.

Mom's Off Duty - The Final Report

Yes, this is the final report. Mom's Off Duty has been cut short by one day. And we're going right into Mom's Having a Party!

Not sure if the kids secretly placed a call to Grandma for help, but she has taken them for a long weekend at her house. (I'm kidding - I know they didn't call her. It's just this weekend was the only time which would work out for her to take them, unless she waited until August. And since you've been reading about how great my kids are, you can understand why she didn't want to wait that long. *grin*)

So I've had a week of no housework, and now I have a long weekend of no one calling me Mom. Yep, hubby and I are going to party. *wink*

But, about today - the final day of Boot Camp for my kids. I'm telling you, I was totally blessed. As they have been all week, they got right into their morning chores - mostly taking care of dishes. And today they also took care of laundry.
That was all great, but it was our afternoon which really pleased me. The work was all done and I suggested taking a walk. Elizabeth and Matthew were interested, (Most likely because I said we could walk to Seven-Eleven and get an ice cream treat. Elizabeth will do anything for ice cream.) but Joshua was not.
I said he could stay home if he wanted but I hoped he would come.
He said if he came, he wanted to bring his DS along to play with while he was walking.
I said, "No deal." I said I hoped he would come along, but he couldn't bring the DS.
We argued it out a bit and I simply said he needed to choose. Joshua, of course, thought I was being unreasonable and didn't understand why he couldn't bring the DS on our walk. I held my ground.
And, boy, was I ever glad.
Joshua decided to come with us, without the DS, and my heart delighted in watching him walk next to Elizabeth all the way to the store. They were talking and laughing and enjoying each other. I saw my two oldest children - who so often fight with each other - having a good time together. As I watched them I prayed for them, asking God to deepen their friendship and grow their love for one another.
I couldn't help but wonder, too, if the things they went through this week - in being responsible for things around the house - may have contributed to improving their relationship. From what I could see, they really did work together well. Sure, there were moments of bickering, times when one would complain that another wasn't helping enough. But over all, I got the sense they were in this thing together.
And I couldn't be happier.
Yes, it was a long and hot walk to the store, and I didn't even get ice cream, but it was the best walk I have taken in a very long time. We made a memory, the kids enjoyed a special treat, and I took tremendous delight in seeing the growing relationships between my kids.

So, this is how I see it:
My kids are able to actively participate in household responsibilities.
Their contribution seems to build their confidence, and they actually appear to enjoy the work. (We've even talked about how we'll continue, and they are agreeable. Not that I would have changed my mind if they didn't agree. LOL)
They are learning to work together.
I have confidence they will love each other when they're grown up, because they're showing signs of it now!

My kids are far from being perfect (just like their mom!!!) but they're wonderful to me. And because of what I have seen in them over the past four days, I am officially declaring my little Mom's Off Duty exercise a success.

Now it's time to party!

Mom's Off Duty - Day Three Report

Today's proverb:

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6

This is the reason I am doing what I am doing, and my kids say they "get it." We talked about it this morning - the responsibilities around the house, learning how to be a little more self-sufficient, learning the proverbs, accepting their parents' authority - these are all aspects of my kids' training, and it is all for their good. (And it's pretty nice for me, too. *grin*) They say they understand, and I believe them. I still expect we'll go through times when they will resist the guidance my husband and I give, and when they'll rebel against our requirements, but I do believe they understand.
And I am hopeful.
I have chuckled along with you regarding some of the comments I have received about my Mom's Off Duty Reports. Yes, I am sure part of the reason this experiment is going well has to do with the "newness" of it. Elizabeth told me she actually likes the jobs because they keep her from being "bored." (Yeah, and keeping her supplied with library books helps that problem, too. The girl has read three books in the past 36 hours!) And I am sure some of the boys' enthusiasm will wear off as time goes on. For now, though, doing laundry is fun.
But what happens when this week is over? Hmmm, I still have to come to a certain conclusion on that question. This much I know - we will not be going back to "where we were."

And for today, I know this: my house got dusted, the dishes are done, and the trash has been emptied. I am satisfied. *grin*

Mom's Off Duty - Day Two Report

Once again, I must say I have great kids.

With the list of "Tuesday Jobs" on the table, and the kids already tackling them I went out to the post office.
When I was finished there I decided it was too early for me to return home, so I called to check on the kids and let them know I was going to a park for a little while. I had brought my Bible with me, and found a nice bench in the park on which to sit and meet with God. I fully enjoyed the peace and the presence of the Holy Spirit, and as I sat there He gave me the idea to bring the kids back for a picnic lunch and play time.
So with a satisfied heart, I hopped back in the van and made my way home to find...The floors were vacuumed, (I had to supervise a few touch-ups, but that's OK!) the walls were washed, the dishwasher was emptied and re-loaded, and the counters were wiped. (No pictures today. I got entirely too frustrated with the process of posting them yesterday. Not sure if it was Blogger, my ISP, my computer, or what. But it took too long, and I'm not going to try again until I have forgotten how frustrated it made me. Ha!)

I had to take care of a few things here (No housework, mind you! *grin*) then we packed lunches and went to the park. There was a pond to visit and lots of turtles and bugs to admire. Even a frog for Joshua to catch. We really had a fun time, and I am hoping the kids will recognize (if my not-so-subtle-hints don't make it obvious enough...) how much their help around the house allows us to do more fun things, because of how it frees me up. Teamwork is such a good thing.
After the park, we went to the library and came home with plenty of good reading material. Tomorrows "chores" will include 30 minutes of quiet reading - for sure! And, I think the kids will be dusting, too. Yeah, that sounds like a good Wednesday Job for them to accomplish.

I also had them memorize Proverbs 19:20 today. Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Had to remind them of these wise words a few times throughout the day, and I am praying the wisdom within the proverb will make its way into their hearts.

My Day Two evaluation - This experiment of making the kids fully responsible for carrying out household chores for a week - is going even better than I'd hoped. I am proud of them for their work. I am humbled because part of me didn't expect them to do this well. I am hopeful for the future and how we can work together as a family unit. For those of you who have thought of trying something like this, but have been afraid to actually do it - I say, Go for it!

Mom's Off Duty - Day One Report

Last night before I went to bed I left a list on the table with the kids' house-keeping chores for today. And this morning I was up and ready to go before Elizabeth and Joshua were even awake. Matthew, however, was up and ready to go. My little eager beaver got to work right away, unloading the dishwasher.

I have been mentoring a dear friend for about a year and a half, and I spent the morning with her today. While I was at her house, I received four or five calls from the kids. They ranged from, "The dryer won't start," to, "Do we really need to wait until after lunch to turn on electronics?" to, "Joshua just kicked me in the leg really hard, for no reason." (As if having a reason would make it OK...)
Needless to say, by the time I got the last phone call, my confidence that "all was well" at home was diminishing.
I had a couple errands to run and needed to do my weekly grocery shopping before I went home. So when Amber and I were finished, I took a deep breath, hoped for the best and headed off to accomplish my tasks.
Shopping took me quite awhile today and when I finished I called home just to let the kids know I was on my way. Call it reassurance. Call it a warning. I just wanted to let them know I'd be home soon.

When I got home, I opened the door and heard Josh Groban on the stereo. (Nice touch, kids!) I stepped in and saw this:

Then I looked around and saw this:
Ladies, the house never looks this good when I'm in charge! Straightening up the family room wasn't even on the "To Do" list today.
The laundry was finished and put away. They had made lunch for themselves and cleaned up the kitchen and table.
I'm telling you, I have great kids. *very big grin*

After I was finished with my lunch, the kids asked if I would take them to Caesarland. Normally my immediate answer would have been "No." Because it wasn't raining and they should have been playing outside. And because normally I would have laundry to fold and messes to clean up.
But today, since the kids had done such a great job - since "my" work was all done - I said "yes." And besides, there was a chance of rain.
So we piled into the van and spent a couple hours at Caesarland. The kids played and I did some writing. It was great for everyone. In the end, the kids were full of hugs and "Thank You's" and I was just full of joy.

Once back at home, Joshua was eager to help me get dinner ready. Along the way he told me he kind of likes the work I'm having them do. Music to my ears! Oh, sure, there have been some complaints and bad attitudes creeping in a couple of times, but for the most part my kids have exceeded my expectations for them and this little experiment. I am delighted!

Hoping tomorrow goes as well as today.

P.S. I am also having the kids memorize a proverb each day. Today it was Proverbs 16:24, Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Hoping to teach them some wisdom along with housekeeping...

Here We Go!!!

I've made my list. (Or would that be their list?)
The kids have received a pep-talk from me.
We've gone over guidelines and expectations.
I just supervised them sorting laundry and getting a load put into the washer.

I think we're ready to get started!

You may recall, I am not "working" this week. Mom's off duty when it comes to house-work!!! And I have a lot of mixed feelings about it.
Will the kids work well together?
Will they learn a valuable lesson, or is it going to back-fire on me?
Am I going to be able to stick to my commitment to not pick up and wipe up and clean up?
Are the kids going to rise to the occasion - as I know they can - and completely amaze me with their diligence and positive attitudes?
In being responsible for keeping up the house this week, will they realize how much I do every day, and decide to take better care of their own stuff?
Or will they resent me for making them work so hard?

I truly see potential for wonderful benefits this week. I know it could foster teamwork. My kids have already had some fun doing laundry during "training" last week, and at the moment they are all running around playing tag together. I know it is not beyond God to use this week of "Mom's Off Duty" to create fun memories for my kids and strengthen their relationships. And I am praying He'll do just that.

As for me, I have finished going through my Finding Joy manuscript. I have sent it to a couple other speaker/authors to obtain their endorsement. I have made copies for the women in my small group to read and offer feedback. This process went much quicker than I had anticipated, which means my work is on hold, until I get this feedback from my friends.

Sooooo, my kids are taking care of household chores this week. My book is on hold again. This leaves me with only one question.

What am I going to do all week?????

Oh, the possibilities. I'll keep you posted! *grin*

Irritable Mother Meets Contemplative Mom...

That's the joke we made when we "met" in the blogging world.

Ann Kroeker, author of The Contemplative Mom, also writes a blog. I had read her book and when I started blogging, I found her blog. It didn't take long for us to find the humor in our contrasting book titles and start imagining a comic strip for mommies. Ha!

As I was thinking about collecting endorsements for my new book - in which I hope the reader will find herself drawing nearer to God - it seemed appropriate to have some words from The Contemplative Mom. So I asked Ann if she would be willing to read my manuscript and give her endorsement.
This is what she had to say:

Karen Hossink, the self-proclaimed “Irritable Mother,” walks readers through her personal parenting moments, both high and low. Those moments are the vehicle through which she discovers a deeper relationship with the Lord. God has used Hossink’s own children to transform her and reveal Himself to her more fully—now, through this devotional, she passes on insights and personal revelations to the reader. Walk with her to a place of prayerful introspection and deeper faith in Jesus Christ.

Ann Kroeker, author of The Contemplative Mom, and another book on parenting to be released in 2009

I am thankful for Ann's words and hope many women will come to "a place of prayerful introspection and deeper faith in Jesus Christ" as they read Finding Joy.

I just received my manuscript back from my editor yesterday and will be spending the next several days pouring over it and incorporating more feedback. So it may be "quiet" here at Surviving Motherhood for awhile. I do have one or two other devotions which didn't make it into the book. Maybe I'll post them for you.

Until then, please remember God cherishes you!

I Hate Love PMS

I used to hear women talk about PMS and had no idea what they were talking about. I didn't understand what was the big deal. And there were guys at the business where I worked before I had kids, who complained about their wives' PMSing. They talked about it, too, like it was a major deal which one should avoid at all costs.
And I continued in my bewilderment. Not "getting it." Not understanding why those three little letters incited such fear in the hearts of my co-workers. Wondering if everyone was making something out of nothing.
A few years ago, something happened in this body of mine and the reality of these horror stories was suddenly very clear to me. And I was agreeing PMS is something which a person may very well want to avoid at all costs.
The hormone roller coaster rides and resulting mood swings make me feel like a totally different person. And I don't like her.

Last night I could almost hear the click, click, click of cars climbing the first hill of the roller coaster.
Stupid little things were annoying me.
Noises which weren't really that loud were driving me to the edge.
Normal, imperfect behavior from my children was angering me.
Thoughts of running far, far away were appealing.

Click. Click. Click.

I listened to my husband playing a game with my daughter in the other room and started thinking things like, If I were a really good mom, I would be in there playing that game and laughing like they are. I'm no good.
Fortunately the Holy Spirit reminded me that statement was a lie. Even with the Truth, however, I was still feeling rotten. And my crabby mood remained through the rest of the night.
When I finally made it to bed, I just laid there and prayed. I was telling God exactly how I felt (As if He didn't already know...) and I was asking Him to hold me and love me as I slept. I was sure of my disdain for myself and my mood, but somehow I was more sure of God's love for me and my desperate need for Him. I fell asleep talking to Him, and I am confident Jesus wrapped His arms around me and held me in His love as I slept.
And I did feel better when I awoke this morning.

But as the morning hours faded and the day wore on, the indicators of PMS became more pronounced. I got to the point when talking to my boys (about something I would be able to handle on a "normal" day) that I couldn't get a word out without tears escaping as well.
Joshua asked, "Mom, are you crying?"
I just said, "Honey, do you remember what I told you about girls and their hormones, and how sometimes they cry at simple things?"
He nodded.
"That's what is happening with me right now. It's OK. Ignore the tears, but please listen to the words."
Joshua seemed to understand, and Matthew just hugged me. I finished what I needed to say then went into my room and just cried some more.

I feel so pathetic putting this event into words. I've already had second and third thoughts about publishing this post. But God has put it on my heart to write this, so - trusting there is someone who needs to read it - I will click on "publish" in a few minutes.

Back to me crying in my bathroom...I did a little Pull-it-together-Karen pep talk and determined to move on with my day. Don't know why it is but usually after I have myself a good cry life seems a little easier to manage, and I can face the rest of the day with greater confidence. Maybe excess hormones are released through my tear ducts? LOL
So it was today. I am feeling much better now.

In the midst of the emotional and hormonal mess of this thing called PMS, I know God was still loving me. And that amazes me.
I was reading a blog post recently about blessings disguised as curses - how sometimes the things which seem just awful to us end up being a tremendous source of God's love and blessing. And as I reflect on my monthly hormone surge, I am learning to see there is blessing in it.
Almost every month I have a hands-on, in-your-face illustration of God's unconditional, un-ending, ever-present love for me.
For a period of 24-48 hours - when I can barely stand to be with myself - God reminds me of my desperate need and desire for Him. He loves me when I feel utterly un-lovable. And He holds me tenderly when, quite honestly, I don't want anyone else to touch me.
How God's love could be so deep and His patience so strong is completely beyond me. But it has brought me to the point of being able to be thankful for this thing called PMS.
Because when I am weak, He is strong.

What Do You Do All Day?

Have you seen this story? It has been passed around from inbox to inbox for a couple of years now.
I love it.
Makes me laugh every time I read it!

What Do You Do All Day?
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Can you relate to the mother in this story? I certainly can! Some days I feel as if the only thing I do is clean up other people's (read: my children's) messes, put away their things, throw away their wrappers, take care of their stuff.
I know - I'm the mom. To some extent I know this is my "job" and I want to serve my family with a glad heart. But I also know my kids are able to take care of their own "stuff" and they can pitch in and help out more than they do. I do want to serve them with a glad heart, but when my glad-ness is so challenged by the I-deserve-your-service-attitude I have gotten too often, I know something has got to change.
One day, somewhere between sweeping up crumbs and tripping over shoes, I decided there was going to come a time when my kids realize how much I do around here, and they were going to learn the importance of helping me out. But I didn't want to wait for the "someday" when they have families of their own and they begin to understand in retrospect. I wanted them to understand sooner, rather than later, so I decided I was going to quit. For awhile.
But I wouldn't do it while school was in session. I didn't want to disrupt their lives too much, and I thought my little object lesson would be much more effective if they were home all day.

Well, school's out. Hee hee hee!

So, my friends, next week - as in, the week of June 23 - I am taking myself off duty. I am not doing laundry. I will not sweep the floor. No one will catch me picking up wrappers and putting them in the garbage. I won't be loading the dishwasher or putting away cereal boxes. No wiping of counters, no hanging of towels, no picking up dirty socks.
Oh, I will take care of my things. I will rinse my own dishes and put them in the dishwasher, and I'll wipe up anything I spill. And dinner? Yeah, I think I'll still cook - I'm not that mean!
But as for everything else I do all day, i.e. the things my kids seem to not even realize I do, and really should be doing themselves - it's going to be all up to them!
I have been working on getting them to take care of their things, but there is still so much they seem to take for granted. My hope is this lesson of mine will truly help open their eyes and aid in making us a family who pitches in and works together peacefully and compassionately.
I'll spend this week preparing them for next week.(I've already told them it's coming.) I'll give them more lessons on doing laundry and I'll make lists of the little things I do all day for their reference. Not that I expect the kids to do it all, but I'll be hopeful.

And by the end of next week, whatever the condition of the house and the kids, I hope they will have learned the value of taking care of their things and messes right away. Maybe they'll appreciate dear ol' Mom a little more. Perhaps they will even decide to help when they see a need - without even being asked.
Yeah, I may be a dreamer. But I do have great kids. I know they are capable of rising to the challenge.
I can't wait to see what happens!

And I will keep you posted. (Pun intended! *grin*)

My Sneaky Resourceful Kids

OK. I've told you about my kids' love for Webkinz, right? Between the three of them, I think they have nine of the little critters. And, boy, do they have nice houses and play-things for their little friends in Webkinz World. They have fun doing their Daily Kinz Care, sending virtual presents to their Kinz friends, and playing games to earn more KinzCash - with which to buy, care for, and send all these wonderful virtual "things."
If I would let them, I bet my kids would spend most of their waking hours in front of the computer, playing in WebKinz World.
But I won't.
We have limits.
So what's a kid to do? If you have an unreasonable a concerned parent who won't let you spend hours a day in front of the computer, how are you supposed to have enough time to do your Daily Kinz Care, spin the Wheel of Wow, buy treats for your pet, play with your pet, send gifts to your friends and cousins, go to the employment office to earn KinzCash, and play games to earn more KinzCash? How can one possibly do all that in half an hour???
My sneaky resourceful kids have found the answer.

Play on your parents' weaknesses and work them to your advantage!

You see, I love word games and there is a really fun one in WebKinz World. And I'm really good at it. So my kids have started asking me if I want to "play that game [I] like" for them. They log me on to their account and get me to the game, and I earn them hundreds of dollars in KinzCash. And it doesn't count toward "their" computer time!
It made me laugh last night when Joshua came over to check on me just as I came up with a word that was worth a lot of points. He looked at me and said, "Wow, Mom. You're really good." That's right, Baby. Don't forget it!
This whole thing about me playing the game for them was fine. I thought it was cute. But then I saw my kids working the system to their advantage even more. One of them discovered there's a Solitaire game in Webkinz World, too, which you can play to earn KinzCash.
And guess who has a Solitaire affection?
Brian.
So last night when Joshua got me set up with my word game, Elizabeth said, "Hey, Daddy, do you want to play Solitaire for me to get KinzCash?" Of course, he obliged.
And there we sat, working away on the computers, earning KinzCash for our kids, impressing them with our word making/card playing skills, listening to their squeals of delight as they watched the "money" roll in, and all without taking away any of their computer time.

Sneaky Resourceful kids!

Call Me Crazy!

Six months ago my daughter came home with a sign on her shirt which said, "I want a rat." Do you remember that event?
Some of you thought I was crazy for getting her said pet. But I did it anyway, and I was glad to delight her heart so much.

Then the little critters started growing on me. I got over the fact that they're rats (Elizabeth always comes to their defense. "They aren't sewer rats. They're domesticated!") I held them and admitted that I think they're kinda cute.
And some of you continued to think I'm crazy.

Well, I've gone and done it again!
Elizabeth decided she wanted to have a party for her rats to celebrate their birthday. We really have no idea the actual date of their birth, but choosing to have a party for them on the last day of school seemed good to Elizabeth, so she declared June 11 as their birthday.
She went to the pet store and bought them a present and she visited her favorite "rat website" to find out what she could give them for a birthday treat. Elizabeth then asked me if I would buy a low-fat muffin she could give the rats as their "birthday cake."
I thought about it for about ten seconds awhile and told her I didn't think the grocery store sold individual muffins - and if they did, I doubted they would be low-fat. But I said I would make muffins for her. So my industrious young lady got online and found a recipe for low-fat muffins which had no dairy in them. (Dairy is a no-no for rats.) And last night I baked "birthday cake" for the rats.
(Of course, the rats only got one of them. The rest are for dinner. When Brian heard what I was doing he said, "You're going to feed us rat food???" "No, Silly! The rats are eating people food!")

So, with all the preparations made - today, we partied!
Joshua's friend also has pet rats and they were invited over for a "play date." Seriously, that's what Elizabeth called it - a rat play date.
They all shared one muffin. There were really four rats, but they wouldn't all get around the muffin at the same time.
Then it was time to open presents. This part was particularly funny to me. Somehow the kids thought the rats would understand what was going on and would "know how" to open their present. They tried to entice them by putting the cake on top, but that didn't work, either.
In the end, the kids wound up opening the toy for the rats - which is how birthdays usually work around here anyway. You know - excited kids, opening each other's presents. The rats went back to playing and enjoying "cake."

So, there you have it. Today I was a willing participant in a birthday party for rats. Call me crazy if you must, but we had a good time. *grin*

She Held My Hand

My daughter has two days left in the sixth grade. She turned twelve years old two months ago. She's almost a teenager.
Many people have said something to me like, "Yeah, Karen, you may think girls are easy now. But wait until she's a teen!" Part of me - thinking back to what I was like when I was a teen - has considered their threats words of warning, and contemplated finding a nice closet in which to lock her up until she passes adolescence.
Then I have experiences with Elizabeth like the ones over the past few days, and I think, Ahhh, this is sweet. These years aren't going to be so scary!
Sure, she's a little weird sometimes. She skips around the house, flopping her arms around, making strange noises, and I look at her wondering, Where did she come from??!!
Other times my dear daughter will start crying at the stupidest most insignificant little thing and I am reminded her hormones are working overtime, and things may start getting crazy around here soon.

But when my fear starts setting in, I will choose to remember her holding my hand.

Friday night Brian and the boys were gone, so Elizabeth and I went to Subway to split a $5 footlong. As we got out of the van and were walking into the store, she reached out and held my hand. And what really happened is she was holding my heart.
After we came home and ate, we watched a movie together. And my nearly-teenage daughter cuddled up with me on the couch and shared her Whoppers with me.

Sunday we were at my mother-in-law's church and Elizabeth didn't want to go to the junior high group, so she sat with us during the service. And when we were walking out, she reached over and held my hand again.

Today I was a chaperon for the sixth grade field trip to the YMCA. The first thing Elizabeth said to me this morning was, "Mom, will you do everything with me today?" I told her I would probably have other responsibilities but I would do my best to spend time with her, and she seemed OK with that answer.
I knew she was happy to have me attending the field trip, but I did wonder how she would relate to me in the presence of her friends.
She was just as sweet.
When I was released from my exchange-shoes-for-skates duty, I donned a pair of roller skates and joined Elizabeth in the rink. And, sure enough, she held my hand again. Because she loves me, or to keep me from falling, I am not sure.

But she held my hand in front of all her friends and classmates.

And many times walking through the Y, she came up behind me, slipped her arm through mine, and walked along beside me.

Yes. My daughter is almost a teenager. She acts rather strange at times, and tends toward being over-emotional other times.
But I will not fear the years ahead. I will not dread her journey through adolescence.

Because she is still willing to hold my hand.

He's in the Details and Right On Time

I absolutely love it when God shows off!

This morning I had just come in the door from walking to the bus stop when the phone rang. It was my husband, wanting me to look for something in his files downstairs. So I went, and I looked, and it wasn't there.
I took out a different folder and I looked in it, and it wasn't there either. So I looked in the first folder again, but it still wasn't there. And my hubby was a bit concerned. He really needed this paper.
Then I put him on the speakerphone so I could use both hands to make the searching go a little faster, and I wondered how long this was going to take - because I had things I needed and wanted to do this morning (Like reading my Bible before going off to do my other stuff. I really wanted to get to that.) and looking through a pile of folders was not.on.my.list.
Hubby wondered if he should just come home and look for himself (Great idea! I think, hoping he doesn't hear my exasperated sigh - knowing I should really just put my stuff aside and look for him.)
So I took out another folder - a big, thick one - which wasn't labeled correctly, but was near where the papers should have been, and I started going through it.
I was sort of leafing through, sort of skimming, sort of grumbling, sort of praying, sort of trying to do a thorough search in spite of my desire to be elsewhere - so as not to be wasting my time, sort of trying to sound like I was happy to be serving my dear husband in this way, completely aware my attitude needed an adjustment.
Then I realized I had forgotten the names I was looking for on these papers and I asked Brian to remind me. And I am not kidding you when I tell you this is exactly how it happened: Brian told me the names, I flipped over a paper, and there was the lease he needed.
My face turned into a huge smile and I simply said, "Do you know God loves you? Here it is. I found it!"

I know there are some who would call it all a coincidence. They would say it was purely chance that the lease had been filed wrong in the first place, and that I just "happened" to pick up the right folder with the wrong label. Some would say it was a fluke for Brian and I to be talking so long that I forgot the names for which I was looking, and simply luck that he told me the names immediately before I found the lease.

Yes. I know. Some would call it all a twist of fate.

But I say it was God showing off. Flexing His muscles. Reminding me He is in the details and right on time.
In this simple act of hiding a lease and bringing it forth, God reminded me He is Lord of everything - the big and the small. It was as if He were saying to me this morning, Sweetheart, I have a little something I want you to do before we have our quiet time together. I want you to let Brian interrupt your plans. I want you to put his needs before your own. Don't worry. I want to spend that time with you, too - I'll protect it - but I want to show you something first.
I want you to search for something. And when you think you cannot find it, and you're letting yourself become anxious, and you're focusing on circumstances rather than Me, I'm going to give you a glimpse of My power. I'm going to remind you that I will always come through for you because I love you. I'm going to show you again that you can trust Me.
And then, dear one, when your heart is set on loving Me - not on keeping to your schedule - I want you to come back upstairs and allow Me to love you through My Word.

Maybe you think I'm over-spiritualizing a misplaced lease, but I'm telling you - That's the message God spoke to my heart this morning.

And I love Him so much!!!

Where He Met Me

Have you ever met Heather from Desperately Seeking Sanity? The title of her blog alone should be enough to get you to pay her a visit. She is a precious woman and I simply love her. Last week she shared her faith story in four posts (which is well worth reading!) and has now opened the door for other bloggers to share about a time when God met them. So today I am excited to share with you about a time God met me.

In this particular instance, the location for me under the You are here arrow would have read, "Atlanta, Georgia." Specifically, the airport in Atlanta on May 11, 2008.
I already told you about this adventure here
and here. But at the time of my re-telling of the story, I didn't realize there was still more God had to show me.

More meeting we needed to do over the subject.

As you may recall, a large part of the time I was sitting in that airport in Atlanta I was reading through voraciously consuming my Bible. For nearly five hours I studied Psalms 22 and 77 (Among other things - but those two Psalms were my focus that day.) and I was thoroughly enjoying the time God and I spent together. At one time I wondered if the whole point of my delay was so that God and I could have this uninterrupted time together. Quoting my post about the event, I wondered:

Was this simply a gift to me, Lord? Time You set aside for me with nothing but You and my Bible? In an airport? A little odd, but, OK - if that's how You want it. A retreat center might be nice next time. If You're looking for suggestions, that is.

I really did wonder if the day was a gift to me. But when I met Mick and learned about his son, and talked with him and prayed for him, I believed I learned the real reason God had me delayed in coming home. I believed He wanted to use me in Mick's life.

I still believe it was God's desire to use me in that way.

But I have realized there was so much more to it.

A couple weeks after my Southern Adventure I was meeting with my mentor, and told her all about it. And this is when God opened my eyes to the Truth of the situation.
Jenni asked me if I thought it possible that day alone in the airport was a gift from God? An opportunity for Him to love on me? She asked - if I hadn't met Mick - is it possible God would have been delighted to simply spend time with me?
The thought was almost too much for me, but I knew she was leading me in the Truth. Though I, myself, had wondered if the day was a gift to me - when I met Mick I thought, OK. Now it all makes sense! I hadn't put it into these words before, but when Jenni and I were talking I realized what I had assumed. I thought - Somehow it would delight God's heart more if He was using me to minister to someone, than if He was just spending time with me.

But as Jenni and I talked that day, it was as if God were saying to me, Karen, if I hadn't wheeled Mick over to that seat next to you, if you hadn't met him and prayed for him, if the only thing significant which happened that day was the time you spent with Me in gate C11, My heart would be just as delighted. I love spending time with just you. I love it!

On May 11, 2008, God stranded met me at the airport in Atlanta, Georgia just to show me that it delights His heart to spend time with me.

It delights Him!!!

And I am not on an ego trip, Friends. Because I know it is just as true that God's heart is delighted every time He gets to be with you, too. In fact, this whole adventure and the Truth of delighting God's heart with our presence is going to be the subject of a new talk I intend to write this summer. (Actually, God's already writing it on my heart. I just plan to type it out this summer...) This one won't be a "MOPS talk" but I trust if God has put it on my heart, He will also lead me to the group of women with whom He wants me to share it.

So that's my story of where God met me. I pray you are blessed as you consider the Truth that God delights being with you, too!