Have you read this post? I followed a link to it on Facebook last week. It's gone viral and lots of moms have been responding to it. So - while I don't usually post "outside" information on my blog - when I received an email asking me to publicize this post, I had to agree. Had to, that is, because I so completely understand this mom and agree with her conclusion.
The post is rather lengthy, therefore, I'll be quiet now so you can pop over there to read. And respond!
Joy can be found in the mundane.
Do you enjoy weeding? How about fixing broken down-spouts? Picking up trash? Yeah. They aren't on my list of 'Fun things to do', either. But over the past couple of weeks, I have been delighted to watch a certain man at Edgewood finding joy in those exact activities. E is a great guy. Will talk your ear off if you let him! And in recent days he has busied himself doing all these tasks outside. Nearly every day, he comes into the Activity Room and gives me the latest report on the things he's done. With a great big smile on his face. And I walk to the window with him so he can point out his progress. I think it's great that E is doing these little beautification projects, but the joy he radiates is 100 times more beautiful. So, tomorrow when I'm doing yard work I believe I will think of E and smile. Because, joy can be found in the mundane.
Sunday toward the end of the conference I invited the women to spend some "couch time" with God - processing the things we'd been discussing, listening to what HE had to say to their hearts. And when we had done that, one woman shared with the group what she'd heard Him say to her heart. She gave me permission to share it with you here. Be encouraged!
I KnowI know you are broken, but I can heal your brokenness! I know you are hurting, but I can take your pain away! I know you are afraid of what will happen, but don’t try to predict the future… it hasn’t happened yet! I know you feel you are amidst a battle, but the battle is not yours! I know you think you need to have control of things, but I’ve got this! I know you want to be at peace, but I am the peace you seek! I know you want to be with me, but I have never left your side! I know you feel lost in the darkness, but I am the light to find your way! I know you feel hopeless, but I am the hope for the world… I am your hope! I know you are tired and weary, but I will give you strength and perseverance! I know you feel unworthy, but you are worthy of all my love, and I love you! I know you are seeking, but I am what you seek! I know you are disappointed in yourself, but I have forgiven you and given you a new life! I know you are concerned and worried, but you will be okay… I’ve got this! Connie Shaler, September 30, 2012
So, I had this thing to which I was really looking forward. Might have been obsessing about it a bit. Maybe. And then, just like that, it was over before it even started. Not gonna happen the way I had imagined. At all. And I was tempted to be disappointed.
But then it was as if God asked my heart, Why should you be disappointed with My best? Why? Indeed! God used that moment to remind me this "thing" is not about me. It's about HIM. HE knows what's best. HE's working out what's best. And HIS best is still best - even if it isn't what I wanted. Honestly, I was almost in tears because of the initial disappointment. But after God had that little talk with my heart, I was almost in tears for an altogether different reason. HE cares enough about me - about my holiness and my relationship with Himself - to do the hard thing. To say NO to me. To risk me being upset with Him. That is, God loves me too much to give me everything I want. Because HE knows what's best. And I'm learning to trust HIS best. Are you?
Ahhhhh. *happy sigh*
I had a fabulous weekend at Cran-Hill Ranch with the Fall Women's Conference. What a delight to be with those women to share life and struggles and the goodness of God. It was the first time I had presented the Don't Make Decisions While You're Running Uphill material in a conference setting, and I was pleased with how it went. God was present - speaking to hearts and touching lives. And I am forever thankful.Looking forward to the opportunity to do it again! Here's a picture of the group from Saturday night. Aren't they lovely?
I can't do it all.
Of course, I know this lesson is true. But this past week, I lived it. I stayed late at work Wednesday, getting things ready for the rest of the week because I wasn't going to be there Friday. (Taking the morning off to finish getting ready for the conference at Cran-Hill this weekend.) As I was driving home, I remembered something I didn't do and figured I would need to work that into Thursday's plans. Then I remembered I had a voice mail on my phone, so I grabbed my phone and listened to the message. It was Elizabeth - asking me to stop at the store and pick up a couple things for her. Which reminded me of other things I needed to do and... The result is, I was quite late getting home from work, my feet were aching, and my mood was less than pleasant. I pondered why things were so hectic and my first inclination was to "blame" Edgewood. After all, I had just spent the entire day at work and was still thinking about things I needed to do. But I quickly realized, the reason I had all this extra stuff to consider was because I was taking time off for the conference. If I wasn't going away to speak this weekend, I wouldn't have the added pressure to get work things lined up and family things situated. BUT, then I thought, If I didn't have to work at Edgewood, I would have all kinds of time to do the other things I need to do when I'm going to be gone for a weekend. And the back-and-forth battle began. It's Edgewood's fault. No, it's because of the conference. No, it's because of work. Speaking! Until I realized this week's lesson: I can't do it all. And I began to think differently. I stopped dead in my tracks and started to pray, asking God to show me where HE wants me to be. *I love the men and women at Edgewood. Love loving them! *But my passion is speaking the heart of God to mothers and women. And if I could make a living doing that, I would turn in my Activity Director's hat in a heartbeat. So my prayer is that God would lead me. That HE would open or close doors according to His perfect knowledge. And I would welcome your prayers for me in this regard. I need to hear from Him, because - truly - I can't do it all. ************************************************************************************ Would also welcome your prayers for this weekend's conference - that God would speak through me, and the women in attendance would have an undeniable encounter with HIM. Thanks!
Last weekend was the youth hunt in Michigan. The weekend when kids aged 16 and under can go hunting before the official deer season opens. And Brian took the boys out. Joshua has gone hunting with Brian for the past two years, but this was the first time for Matthew, and the first youth hunt ever. And the first time Joshua got a deer.
He was so excited! And I'm a proud momma. :) Looking forward to cooking up some venison this winter!
I am so looking forward to traveling to Crete, Illinois on October 12 to speak at Crete Reformed Church. These evening events are one of my absolute.favorite.things.to.do!
If you're in the area, I would love to see you there. If you know other moms in the Crete/Chicago area, please invite them to attend.
When Joshua was younger we often got into it with one another. He would stomp off to his room in anger. I pretty much stayed put in anger. Sometimes it took a few hours, and other times it was a day or more, but typically Joshua would realize his error and apologize to me. And it always surprised me when I saw what happened to my heart in those moments. His sincere apology was all it took for me to forgive, and remember my love for him. And in a weird sort of way, those moments made our spats OK. Because I got to see my son's tender, humble side. And it is so beautiful.
We recently had a disagreement which went the same direction. We just couldn't see eye to eye. Try as I might, I couldn't convince him it is OK to bend for the good of the family. Couldn't get him to think outside of himself. And, as per usual, he stomped past me mumbling about how annoying I am. Moments later I heard the shower going and started to sputter inside about him wasting water. The next thing I knew, Joshua was walking into the kitchen. He stopped as he was passing me and said, "I'm sorry for yelling earlier." Seemed his time in the shower did more than clean his stinky body. It also gave him some time to think. And, just like that, all was forgiven. His sincere and gentle words did a number on my heart and we were reconciled. Once again his tender, humble side surfaced. And I realized - it still gets me.
There's more than one way to enjoy a song.
Today is a special day at Edgewood. Three of our residents are celebrating birthdays. One of those three is turning 105!!! And H - the one who is 105 years old today - is the one who taught me this week's lesson. H loves music. She sings all the time. Only, her singing is more like a high pitched, slightly-out-of-tune oooooo-ing/humming sound. And - to be quite honest - it annoys some residents sometimes. Because she's quite loud and they don't like it. But she loves to sing! And I love her high pitched, slightly-out-of-tune oooooo-ing/humming sound, because I know it is a reflection of the joy in her heart. Well, the other day, I saw H enjoying music in another way. She was sitting in the atrium while one of our favorite entertainers was playing the piano and singing. H was in her wheel chair, slightly slouched to the side, kind of staring at the floor. (She has very poor eye-sight so it isn't often that she really focuses on anything.) I began to wonder if she was listening to the music, or if she was lost in her own little world. Then I glimpsed her feet. And I wasn't wondering anymore. H's feet were tapping along with the beat of the music, and I was quite sure - if her body would let her - she would have been on her feet dancing. I stood for several minutes just staring at H's dancing feet, taking in the joy they expressed. And that's when I learned, there's more than one way to enjoy a song.
I had a chance to go shopping Saturday afternoon.
That isn't the sad part. The thing which made me sad happened while I was looking through the racks. I overheard a conversation between two friends who hadn't seen each other in a while. They chatted for a few seconds before their conversation grabbed my attention. When one of them started complaining about her college-aged daughter, I couldn't keep myself from
So, the other night I tried to protect God.
Have you ever heard of a sillier thing??? Joshua came running into the kitchen in a panic. "Mom! Help me look for Butters!!!" And he yelled for the rest of the family to do the same thing. Joshua had just looked into his hamster's cage and discovered the little guy had escaped. And since he hadn't played with Butters in a couple of days, Joshua wasn't sure how long he'd been out of his cage. The only thing of which he was sure is that everybody needed to drop what we were doing and help him find that rodent. We all got to work. Unsuccessfully. And it hurt my heart to see Joshua so upset. I mean, really. There were tears and frantic movements, moans and breathing which bordered on hyperventilation. The boy was beside himself with worry for Butters. As I looked in closets and under beds I was fully aware that God knew exactly where Joshua's hamster was hiding. I knew HE could bring him out into the open. Could lead us right to that little guy's location. And I prayed HE would.It occurred to me that I ought to pray with Joshua. Or at least encourage Joshua to pray. But then I was overcome with the thought, What if we never find Butters? What if he has been missing for a couple days and is dead in some corner somewhere? What if God, in His sovereignty, doesn't lead us to him - alive? Thinking about how devastated Joshua would be under those circumstances, I couldn't bring myself to suggest that he pray. Because I didn't want him to be upset with God for not answering his prayer the way he wanted. Instead, I prayed more for our search. And even more for Joshua. When I became convinced there was nothing more we could do, I told Joshua it was time for us all to go to bed. (The scene produced by that statement could fill another whole post...) And as I lay in bed, replaying the previous 45 minutes, trying to understand why I couldn't get myself to encourage Joshua to pray, I understood my hang-up. I was too concerned by how Joshua might respond if God didn't answer his prayer affirmatively. I was afraid Joshua might not like God. I was anxious about how he would view a God who lets hamsters die. I simply didn't want Joshua to be upset with God, and somehow I thought - by not praying - he wouldn't hold God responsible for a sad outcome. That's when I realized the foolishness of my actions. I realized I was trying to protect God; trying to establish Him in a favorable way in my son's eyes. Only, God doesn't need protecting. He is big enough to manage His own image. No assistance from me necessary. So I am officially resigning as God's PR girl. Returning to my appropriate position of humbly trusting that He knows what He's doing. Aiming to model such a faith for my children, so they may learn to pray without ceasing - trusting a good GOD to work all things out for our good and HIS glory. BTW, Butters showed up the next morning. Caught in a live trap Joshua had set in the basement. Thankful for a happy ending!
I was writing an email message last week and - after spending a few minutes laboring over a couple sentences - I deleted everything I'd just typed. It wasn't that my words were unkind, or untrue, or anything like that. But as I re-read them I asked myself, Do I really need to say this? And the answer was, No.
The thing is, last week's experience wasn't unique. Whether it's in an email or a blog post, sometimes I find myself saying things I just don't need to say. Maybe I re-read what I've written and realize I'm trying to justify myself or prove myself right and I don't like my motive. So I delete. Other times my review reveals a sense of pride which needs to be reigned in. Or a pity party which needs some truth-talk. *wink* Whatever problem I discover, I am always thankful for my delete button, and the ability to move forward as if I'd never written those words. Now, if only I could find a delete button for the times when I speak before I think. *ahem* Or maybe I should just write everything down before I say it. Hmmmm. I'm not alone in this issue, am I?
Little things mean a lot.
C moved back this week! He's been gone for a couple months - first in the hospital and then in rehab - but now he's back. And it was our re-union which taught me this week's lesson. For as long as I can remember, C and I have had a special 'thing' we do every day. It's what we call "close eyes". Actually, it's something Matthew and I used to always do when I said good-bye to him before school. I told C about it one day, and it's been our way of greeting ever since. Anyway, "close eyes" happens when two people put their foreheads together and touch their noses, which results in your eyes being very close! So, back to C's homecoming. As soon as I was able, I went over to him, smiled, and said, "Hello!" But I could tell from his reaction, C didn't remember me. And my heart broke a little bit. I said, "You don't remember me, do you?" He just acknowledged my suspicion by lowering his eyes a little. Then I said, "Wait a minute!" and I moved in close so my forehead rested on his, and our noses touched and I said, "Close eyes!" C smiled and I said, "Now do you remember me?" C let out a little laugh and said, "Yes!" Oh, bless my heart! What a joy to know he remembered our little greeting, and therefore remembered me. I am quite sure I will look forward to "close eyes" more than he does from now on. It's just a little thing, but little things mean a lot.
Last weekend we spent time with friends at their beach house. What fun! Joshua, get ready for it, spent most of his time fishing. I know. Shocker. And he invited me to join him on one of his trips. To be perfectly honest, I would have been content staying at the cottage. Could have napped, or picked up socks, or napped, or played with the baby, or, well - taken a nap. But Joshua had been talking about taking me out fishing for a week or two, so I went.
First, we had to get to our destination. Joshua did the rowing.
I was recently reminded of a post I wrote nearly four years ago. And, while much has changed in four years, I chuckled as I realized how much hasn't changed. I may be four years older and wiser, with four more years of experience. But this motherhood thing is still too much for me to handle.
How Much Can You Handle?I do not remember where I was when I heard this, or who it was that said it, but last week someone made a statement to me which is really ringing true tonight.
She said to me, "You know how some people say, 'God won't give you anything you can't handle?' Well, I don't believe it. God gives me lots of things I can't handle. And He handles it all!"
Can I get an "Amen!" on that one?
How many times has someone tried to encourage you - or have you tried to comfort someone else - with that statement?
God won't give you anything you can't handle.
Really?
Because as I have gone through life - especially since I have been a mom - I have come across more and more circumstances which I simply cannot handle.
Need to love a child who is prone to angry outbursts and fits of rage. Can't do it.
Must be patient with an ADHD child, who simply cannot maintain focus. Can't do that, either.
Compassion required for individuals who have made foolish choices. Don't have it.
Need to serve my family selflessly, even when they don't seem to appreciate the time and effort I put in. Yeah, I don't think so.
Shall I continue?
I could give you the play-by-play of this evening's activities...
The point is, God has given me so much in my roles as wife and mom which I simply cannot handle. And because He is so good He gives me the grace I need, moment by moment, to make it through.
I don't have the capacity to love. My patience is much too thin. Compassion is lacking. And there is still too much of me in me to do much of anything selflessly. I cannot handle all God has called me to be and do!
So I fall at His feet - needy and grateful for His grace in my life, for God's ability to handle all He has called me to be and do.
I leave you now with the final verse I read to the kids before bed tonight. Yeah, this verse which fits me so perfectly, from a psalm I "randomly" chose to read. I soooo do not believe in randomness. Clearly,God picked this psalm out tonight!Yet I am poor and needy;
come quickly to me, O God.
You are my help and my deliverer;
O LORD, do not delay.
Psalm 70:5
