Even in the Darkest Valley

It's My Pleasure

Sometimes I feel rather momish when I'm at work. Looking after the needs of guests and co-workers, making sure they are well-cared-for and prepared for obstacles which might come their way.
That's why I always put a hand wipe in the bag when somebody asks for honey.
Because, you know, sticky hands.
Anyway, I was feeling particularly momish yesterday. The snow was falling steadily, and although folks were telling me early on that the roads were fine, as the morning progressed reports were changing. So I routinely asked if the guest at my window had a lot of driving ahead of them, we typically had a brief discussion about road conditions, and as I sent them on their way with yummy food I lovingly beckoned them to "Drive safely!"

Then there was the guest who gave me the opportunity to move from momish to sisterhood-of-moms-ish. That is, I was handing a chocolate milk out the window and I knew it was accompanying a kids' meal. So I called to the young boy in the back seat, "Oooo, chocolate milk? Who has the best mom in the world???" The soon-to-be-a-chocolate-milk-drinker smiled and said, "I do!"
"That's right," I said (also smiling), "and it's important for you to remember that."
At which point Mom looked at me and said, "Thanks. I need all the help I can get."
And I smiled at her, too, as I said, "I understand," praying a little bit of grace from the mom in the drive-thru would help make her day just a little bit more hopeful.

Whether my role is that of a need-meeter, saftey-cautioner, or spirit-lifter, it truly is my pleasure.

Here's Looking at You, Kid!

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with my girl.
Except shortly into the incident I realized I was not accompanying a "girl."
Rather, she was a woman.
With responsibilities and maturity and a whole host of grown-up behaviors.
That is, Elizabeth showed me around where she works - let me see the things she's doing, explained processes and future plans, and gave me insights into her passions. She introduced me to her supervisor, and discussed a couple of issues with her while we were there. And as I observed my daughter talking about work-related needs and questions, I realized she was operating at a level I have never seen her on before. I mean, Elizabeth is wonderful and responsible and all that. I've known as much for a long time. But yesterday I got to see her doing these things with my own eyes. And suddenly I felt as though I wasn't just with my girl, but with another woman.
It was kind of strange.
And wonderful.
Wonderful to see my daughter respected and valued by another adult.
Delightful to witness her blossoming before my eyes.
There's just something so enjoyable about watching your child excel, and grow into the person God has created them to be.

As we drove between errands we talked about life and decision-making. I shared with Elizabeth how I have been praying for her and heard how she's been seeking God, too.
In this regard I had another opportunity to see how my girl has grown into a woman. I got to look at the beautiful work God has been doing - the work in which I once played a significant role, and which now finds me as more of an observer.
And while there is a tinge of sadness at missing what was, I realized I have a whole lot of joy in seeing what IS.

Come and Be with HIM

So yesterday we ended our Precept study time by listening to this song as we reflected on Jesus - our High Priest.
The One who fulfilled God's plan for our redemption.
The One who knows our every need, and meets each one of them perfectly.
The One in whom we confess our faith, the anchor of our eternal hope.
It was such a blessing and I want to share the blessing with you. I know you have the time - because you're here. So please take the next 3 minutes and 17 seconds to sit in His presence, reflecting on His love and enjoying just being with Him.

I Don't Wanna

"I don't wanna!"

At least once a week those are the words I hear coming from my husband's mouth with regard to doing his workout. And I immediately know I've gotten my cue to spur him on with encouragement to do what he doesn't want to do. To get up anyway, or get dressed anyway, or get out the door anyway - and go to the gym. He and I both know he's happier when he's done a workout.
So, I respond the same way, every time.
"That's OK. You don't hafta wanna. You've just gotta do it."
And here's where I admit that I am a frequent utterer of that phrase, too. When my alarm goes off and it's a workout day, I often roll over and groan, "But I don't wanna!"
And the other day when I found myself in that position - protesting to no one in particular, because Brian was already out of bed and at the gym - I had to provide the encouragement myself. But by the time I made it to my workout space, I was already thinking about calling it quits. So as I got down on my knees to stretch I prayed, I don't wanna do this, God. But if You'll help me, I can do it.
For the next 20-30 seconds I just kept repeating, If You'll help me, I can do it.
And there - stretched out on the floor, repeating my petition, being completely honest about my inability to carry out the task in my own strength - I realized I was in a position where I need to put myself a lot more often.
That is, it occurred to me that every time God is leading me to do a hard thing, whenever He is asking me to take an uncomfortable stance, or when I think I know a better way than the way He is guiding me - and I have a desire to say to HIM, "I don't wanna!" - I need to get on my knees and confess, I don't wanna do this, God. But if You'll help me, I can do it. Because I know, just like He has gotten me through every difficult thing I have ever faced before, so He will take me through each one I've yet to encounter.
God is faithful like that.
And when I surrender my weakness to His strength, oh, what a wonderful outcome HE produces.
Do you know what I mean???

HIS Agenda

Say That Again?

Yesterday as I walked into the grocery store to do my weekly shopping I was met with a smile.
I returned the gesture, and was anticipating the usual greeting.
"Welcome to Meijer!"
As I passed the greeter I did, indeed, hear the expected words. But then she said something I've never heard her (or any of the other greeters) say.

"Enjoy your shopping."

If it's possible to do a double-take with your ears, that is exactly what I did next.
I thought, What? Did she really just say that?? Enjoy my shopping??? And I went on to label the greeting as silly.
Non-sense.
Ridiculous, even.
Because I hadn't come into the store for enjoyment. I was simply fulfilling a duty. Collecting a list of items which would allow me to go home and fulfill another duty - making meals for my guys.
And she wanted me to "enjoy my shopping"?
I mean, really. What's fun about getting groceries???
Yet as I walked on, another Voice whispered to my heart, Why not? Why not enjoy shopping? What's so silly about finding joy in mundane things?And before I could do anything about it, I found myself agreeing with that Voice.
Then my spirit was saying, Yeah. Enjoy your shopping! What the heck. Enjoy everything!
Thus, my attitude changed on a dime.

I chuckled to myself as I considered how quickly the Spirit of God can convict mine. And I smiled at the thought that He knows what is best. That He knows exactly what my heart needs to hear.
Yes, Lord. Please keep telling me the things I need to hear!

And, as it would go - I did find joy. I encourage you today to enjoy yourself in every little thing you do.

HE Will Speak. You Can Listen.

It's My Pleasure

Yesterday when the clock said 6:28, I punched in - so I could make my way to the front of the store, unlock the window, sign on to the register, and flip the lights to "green" at 6:30-on-the-dot.
We were ready to begin serving guests with grace and a smile.
And yummy chicken, of course!
As the dark sky became lighter and more guests came for breakfast, I was enjoying opportunities for fun chatter and a few moments of deeper conversation. I truly delight in the comments which lead to philosophical ponderings, which ultimately leave both of us commentators scratching our heads and smiling about some deep thought we'd never thunk before.
One woman asked me about the training we go through during orientation, because she wanted to know how Chick-fil-A employees seem so consistent in pursuing excellent customer relations.
I enjoyed playful banter with another guest who was "an hour away from leaving for Cancun." The very cold air emboldened me to feign jealousy of his trip (I mean, I only had to pretend a little. *wink*) and he promised to bring back a full report his wonderful and warm vacation.
And then, there was the young mom with a two-year-old - who was having a crying fit because he "wanted to go to Meijer." When I came back to the window with their order, said crying child had calmed down and was peeking at me from the back seat. I said, "Hi there!" And he smiled and waved. So I asked, "Are you having a great day?" And he giggled and said, "Yeah!" At which point Mom and I exchanged knowing looks, and I wished her peace in the midst of toddler-moods-which-can-turn-on-a-dime, as she drove off into the day.
Indeed, there were a lot of things which were going right in the drive-thru yesterday.
But there were also less-than-stellar moments.
Orders which weren't heard correctly or said right or entered accurately, or something - which had to be refunded or remade or re-ordered. (And caused delays which, of course, nobody wants.) Other details (to which I am not privy, because I'm just trying to manage the window...) sometimes got confused and attitudes were affected, frustrations were expressed, and a feeling of gloom lurked in the air. To the extent that - at one point - I felt like just plopping down and having a little cry.
And just about exactly at that point, as I was handing an order out the window, the guest in the car said, "You guys are amazing. You do such a great job here. Thank you!"
I paused for a moment.
I closed my eyes and smiled.
Then I looked right into her eyes and said, "Thank you. Thank you."
And I realized that encouragement doesn't only go out of the Chick-fil-A window.
Sometimes it comes rushing in through the gracious words of a kind soul who doesn't know she just delivered a kiss from the King.

Late-40s Wisdom

I couldn't help myself.
Matthew came into the house bemoaning the fact that he'd forgotten to stop by the tire store to get his tire pressure checked. "I was going to do it," he said, "but I drove right by. Forgot all about it!"
And I really understood his pain. Because my very-less-than-stellar memory often sees me forgetting to do the things I was sure I'd remember to do.
Often.
Waaaaay too often.
Which is why I was so eager to share my hard-earned wisdom with my son.
I said, "I've learned a strategy to remember when I need to do something out of the ordinary. It really helps. I do something out of the ordinary right away, which I'll see later. So when I see it later I'll remember there was something I needed to do, and I do it!"
For example, Monday I needed to stop by the bread store after I got groceries.
I wrote that need on my grocery list, but I knew by the time I put the groceries on the belt, paid for everything, got out of the store and had my bags loaded into the van - I would not be thinking about that one remaining item on my list. Sooooo, when I was getting out of the van to go into the store - when I picked up the list and saw "bread store" on it, I thought, Aha! Time to use my memory strategy!
I reached down, picked up the snow brush, and placed it on my seat as I got out.
Because when I finished shopping and put the groceries in the back of the van, then came around to get in and go home - well, I'd have to move the brush out of my way.
Which would be unusual.
Which would cause me to wonder why I had put it there.
Which would remind me that I needed to do something out of the ordinary.
Which would cause me to recall that unusual thing.
Which - of course - was: go to the bread store!
So I went, and *Voila!* now my guys have yummy bread to eat with dinner.

Truth be told, I am not sure how inspiring my tale of wisdom was for Matthew.
I mean, I really hope he tries my strategy and finds it helpful.
But I realize he may think it's silly, and he may never benefit from utilize my idea.
And that's his loss okay, I guess. At least I tried to help him!
Just, please, do me one favor: If you ever pass by my van and see the snow brush on the driver's seat, don't put it away for me. Chances are there's something out of the ordinary I'm trying to remember! *grin*

Exactly

It's My Pleasure

True story: Words simply cannot convey the very real pleasure my job is to me.

Yesterday included one of many occasions I have had to serve someone who is eating at Chick-fil-A for the first time. Now, whenever I learn that a person is making their initial visit, I make a point of welcoming them and letting them know I am glad they've come. And I take extra care to explain the way we do things - like the table markers, and sauces, and beverage re-fills.
But yesterday when "Sam" came in, he brought additional opportunities for me to pour out kindness. First, he had come quite a distance to get to us, so I showered him with love for making the drive. Second, he had no clue what he was doing or what to order, so I was able to "hold his hand" though the process and make him feel comfortable. And, third, he was taking lunch back home to his wife, so I let him know what a great guy he was for thinking of her - and I was able to help him pick things she might like.
That entire interaction was a joy to me. And to him, too, I hope!

Then there was "Will." He wasn't having the best of days, but something I said led to him responding with a smile. And I said, "Ahhhh, you smiled!" And his smile grew a bit more, even with a small chuckle. I told him then, "I want to take your order and get you the meal you desire, but my greater goal is for your day to be brighter." "You have accomplished your goal," he said with another smile.
And my heart beamed.

Near the end of the day I was beginning to worry because I had been given one of our cow mascot plush toys to give away to someone, and I had yet to meet the child to whom I felt led to give it. But then my co-worker saw some siblings come in with (I'm guessing) their grandma and he said, "Maybe that's them!"
After Grandma placed their order I said, "OK. Now I'm hoping you can help me with a little problem I'm having," and I brought the cow into their view. "My cow is very lonely, and I need to find friends for him who will love him and take very good care of him. Can you please help me? I really need somebody to take care of my cow and love him well." And I'm telling you, the eyes in these kids just lit up.
Initially I had a slight concern about whether "sharing" the cow would be a problem, but as we interacted I could see that this brother and sister would work well together in giving my cow a good home - and I believe the delight in my heart matched the happiness in theirs as I handed "Chick-fil-A" over to them. (That's what they decided to name him. Chick-fil-A.)

I could go on with stories just from yesterday which bring me joy, but I'll stop with these three.
The thing is, every day I want to be where God wants me to be, doing what HE wants me to do. I just want to be a conduit of His love to this world in which I'm living. And each day I'm at work I have the very real sense that HE is giving me those opportunities.
Ahhhh, it's my pleasure!!!

The Current Contents of my Bathroom Cabinet

My husband and I have a running joke about "making Grandma Hossink proud."
That is, Brian's grandmother was known for her dutch-ness.
For being frugal.
For using every last drop of a thing before throwing it away.
Thus, when I refuse to dispose of an item because I am convinced there is at least one more serving or portion or usage or bit in it, I joyfully defend myself declare, "Grandma Hossink would be so proud!"

And those were precisely the words which went through my mind as I noticed the extent to which I was *ahem* honoring her with my toiletries. Check this out:

This is my current deodorant container. I mean, I have a new bottle, but I'm still using this one because - clearly - it still contains product. Granted, I have to use a cotton swab to extract the product, and my finger to apply it. But this stuff isn't cheap (And I am!!!) and I don't want to throw any of it away. So I'll keep on being thrifty until the last of it is used.

This bottle is my moisturizer. A week or so ago it seemd to be empty, but when I put it away upside down I proved to myself that it wasn't. Actually, both last night and this morning I truly thought I had gotten the last of it. Yet here it still sits, because I have a feeling I can squeeze one more usage out of it.

And finally, there's this. (Which, technically, is from a drawer and not my cabinet. But who's being technical???) Do you see in the lower left corner, the one remaining bit of blush? I could have thrown this make-up away weeks ago when I bought its replacement, but that would have made Grandma sad. And I would much rather make her proud. Which I'm sure I did by crushing that little bit of blush with my tweezers, and capturing the crumbs on my blush brush - to apply one last time to my cheeks.

Ah, yes.
I never had the opportunity to meet Grandma Hossink. She passed many years before I even met Brian. But I'm sure we would have been fast friends, as we compared notes on being frugal, and encouraged one another on in our efforts to use every last drop. *wink*

Unlimited God

It's My Pleasure

What do you do when you make a mistake?

At Chick-fil-A we try to turn our mistakes into blessings.
Specifically, what I mean is, when our dessert maker accidentally prepares the wrong shake - or when a guest changes their mind about what kind of iced coffee they want, after their original order has already been prepared - or something along those lines, which leaves us with an unwanted tasty treat - we like to "surprise and delight."
Every now and then when I am at the drive-thru window a co-worker will place one of those items at my side with the words, "Here. Surprise and delight someone." And I set out to notice somebody who seems to need a lift in their day, or who simply looks like they would truly be delighted by a treat.
And, can I tell you?
It really is my pleasure when I see the smile on a person's face as I hand them a free goodie.
Indeed, some people are very happy about our mistakes!

So, this whole making lemonade out of lemons thing (Hey, did you know we do that at Chick-fil-A, too???) has had me thinking this week: When unexpected events pop up, when things aren't going as we intended, how can we turn the situation around to surprise and delight someone???

We Made It. (You will, too!)

It's My Pleasure

Last week an elderly gentleman approached my register to order lunch. He was standing alone but was ordering for two, and he wasn't sure which menu item he was supposed to select. He said, "Last time we shared a salad. It was big enough for both of us, it was very tasty, and it was around $8. Do you know which one that would be?"
"Well," I said, "we have several tasty salads."
I glanced at the wall behind me where the menu is located but quickly realized referring to it would be useless. The salads were on the opposite end from where we were standing, and besides, this gentleman seemed a bit hard of hearing. I knew he wouldn't be able to understand me while I read the menu, because I would have to be turned away from him so I could see it...
I happen to know, however, that we have printed menus in a little cubby on the wall. So I walked around the counter and grabbed one, then went to the gentleman who wanted to order a salad to share with his wife. We stood side by side and I showed him the descriptions of each of the salads on our menu. And when we read about the Market Salad he said, "Yes! That's the one!"
Satisfied that we had solved the mystery, I put the menu away and went back behind the counter to put his order into the register. As I was entering the information we decided on a salad dressing, and discussed how the lid from the salad could be used as a second plate. We also agreed they would probably both like to have a cup of water for a drink. And as we were finishing up, this very sweet gentleman said to me, "I am 94 years old. Thank you for being so gentle with me today."

True statement: The memory of that interaction still delights my heart. And the sincere gratitude expressed by that 94-year-old man inspires me to seek more ways to be gentle with everyone I meet.

When Your Adult Child "Gets It"

Josh came over for dinner Monday night, and - I'm telling you - he had some of the most delightful things to say. That is, I found great joy in *almost* hearing him say, "Mom, you were right all along!"
It went a little like this:
While talking about his roommate's cleaning habits, "I don't think he has ever emptied the trash. Sometimes I think I just won't do it, because eventually he has to see that it needs to be done. But he doesn't! Mom, I think I feel like you have felt."
Regarding cleaning the kitchen, "He doesn't even wipe the counter. Ever. I scrub the dishes, but he just leaves food all over them. I'm the only one who cares!"
And as I'm listening, I'm thinking, Yes, son. I know exactly how you're feeling. Exactly. And can I just say? What goes around comes around...
Those observations made me chuckle to myself, but it was his final adulting-is-hard comment which made me laugh out loud. Josh was telling us about an opportunity he might have in the coming year to go on a fishing trip, but which would cost upward of $200 for an airplane ticket. And while he was sharing his story - actually all through dinner - Cleo was making lots of noise by dropping her ball on the floor.
Thud.
Over and over and over.
Thud.
Matthew, who has been working lots of hours, saving his money (and happily updating his computer with those savings) asked with a sense of disbelief, "What? Why can't you come up with $200?"
With equal disbelief Josh looked at his you-have-no-idea-what-it's-like-to-do-this-adulting-thing brother and said, "Do you hear that ball dropping? That's why I can't save up $200."
And I just burst out laughing.
You see, my husband used to mock his dad's infamous statement, "You can't have nice things when you have kids!" But sometime in the past 23 years - between the simple cost of having kids, and the amount of damage those darlings do to household items - Brian has come to understand why his dad lamented as he did. In fact, more than once I have heard Brian make the same claim. So I couldn't help but display my amusement when I witnessed the baton being passed to the next generation.
Ahhh, Josh loves his pup. But he's facing the reality that loving and caring for another living being has a literal cost. (And I love seeing the sacrifice he's willing to make for his sweet companion.)
But I also have to laugh, because there is a real sense of satisfaction in seeing your adult child finally understanding the things you've been saying and feeling for years!

Laughter is Good Medicine

So, I "might" have spent too much time Sunday afteroon reading old blog posts while I was searaching for the one I shared yesterday.
Maybe.
But so many of them made me laugh, I just couldn't stop!
And the two which follow are quick reads. So I hope you'll enjoy a laugh with me today. *grin*

From May 7, 2007:
Matthew is my youngest child. He'll be seven in less than two weeks. YIKES!!! That's hard to believe.
When he was a toddler and my husband and I were introducing him to someone new, it was not uncommon for Matthew to approach the person and climb right up onto their lap or give them a big hug. Brian and I would usually smile and say something like, "He's really shy. We're trying to work with him on that!" He is such an outgoing little guy, and that is one of the things I love about him.

I have recently noticed another area in which I think Matthew is excelling. Let me describe the situation and see if you agree with me.
When I pick the kids up from school, Matthew is usually the first to get to the van. Since Elizabeth is the oldest (and somewhat bossy when it comes to things like seating in the van) she has eternal dibs on the front seat. However, since Matthew gets there first he usually climbs in front with me until Elizabeth arrives. With the weather being so nice recently I often have the windows rolled down, and this situation has prompted Matthew to display his self-confidence.
This is how it goes:
Matthew hops in the van and kisses me. I ask how his day was, he says, "Good!" and jumps into the front seat. Then it is as if he doesn't notice me anymore because he gets nose-to-nose with himself in the side mirror and starts saying, "Hi, Handsome! You're handsome! Wow! Look at you, Handsome!" And today he added a new one. "There isn't even one speck of un-handsome in you!"
So, tell me. Do you think I need to work with him on developiing his self-esteem???

From September 24, 2015:
Me: (as Matthew is picking up the fruit bowl for a second serving) Uh, make sure you leave enough for Josh to have some.
Matthew: (groaning) But he isn't here.
Me: Leave enough for Josh.
Matthew: He doesn't even have to know we had any.
Me: Matthew, if you were the one at work and Josh was going for the rest of the fruit, wouldn't you want me to stick up for you?
Brian: Yeah, Matthew. What would Jesus do?
Matthew: (shrugging) Make more fruit?

Inviting HIM Into Our Emotions

Sunday we began a new series at church in which we will be exploring emotionally healthy spirituality. Our pastor told a story about an experience he had recently with his son when he was at first upset - until the Holy Spirit spoke to his heart and showed him his own need.
As Pastor was telling the story I was remembering a time many years ago when a similar thing happened between me and my son. And I was eager to find the post, that I might share the story again.
Because there is huge blessing when we invite the Holy Spirit into our everyday lives, when we listen to Jesus as He speaks to our emotions.
So, here's my story. From May 6, 2010.

The other night I scurried home from work, got dinner ready as quickly as I could, told Matthew to get ready for soccer practice, and rushed him out the door so we could get there on time. It was hectic, to be sure, but I was glad we were going to make it.
However, just as Matthew got out of the van and I was about to exhale, he let out a howl. "Ooohhh! I forgot my water bottle!" And then he pleaded with me, "Will you go home and get it for me?"

Honest moment:
I did not want to go home and get that water bottle. I mean, I did want to go home, but I didn't want to turn around and go back to the soccer field. I wanted to curl up in a heap and hide.
I have told Matthew enough times to make sure he has everything he needs before we walk out the door. He knows a water bottle is necessary at soccer practice. This is not new information. Oh, I did not want to go get that water bottle.

But there I was, driving home with every intention of finding a water bottle for my son and taking it back to soccer practice for him.
Arghhhh! What was going on with me? He didn't deserve this kindness!
(Could I really call it kindness when I was grumbling about it???)

In an attempt to make some sense of the situation, I asked myself, "Why am I doing this for him?" *Read that: The Holy Spirit asked me, Do you realize why I arranged for you to do this for him?*
And as I pondered what reason could possibly explain why I would do something for someone, which they simply did not deserve to have done, I came to understand.

Why was I doing this for him?

Because I need grace, too.