When Trusting God isn't Easy

***As a general rule, I always try to keep my posts on the short side. But today there is much on my heart I need to share. Please, please - take your time in reading and allow God to speak to your heart.***

Sometimes it is easy to trust God, isn't it?
Sometimes He shows Himself so clearly and we cannot deny His presence. We see Him moving and we cannot help but rejoice and give Him praise. I love it when He moves like that, and you know I love to give testimony every time.

But sometimes trusting God isn't so easy.
Sometimes we don't see Him moving. We don't understand what He's doing and we wonder what's going on.

I have been praying for a few situations which have recently caused me to increase my heavenly petitions. The earthly circumstances had become grim, but God gave me hope anyway.
As He does so often, God had me in just the right scripture on just the right day. I was thinking about these grim circumstances and found myself reading John 11 – the story of Lazarus' death, and Jesus' demonstration of power and authority as He raised Lazarus from the dead.
I read that story and thought about Mary and Martha's belief that it was all over for Lazarus. They thought Jesus had missed the opportunity to help their sick brother, because he was now dead. But Jesus knew the sickness was not going to end in death. He knew the situation was for God's glory. And He told the women if they just believed they would have that for which they asked.
I rejoiced in that story and spent time meditating on the truth that things are not always as they seem. Lazarus' death wasn't the end. It was a resurrection in the making!
And I began praying for these grim situations with the view that – although they appeared to be deaths, they could just be resurrections in the making.
In the following days I continued to be in scripture which pointed to Lazarus' miracle and which reminded me that whatever you ask for in prayer, if you believe you have received it, it will be yours. (Mark 11:24) I felt like God was assuring me He was in the process of working miracles for these situations and I was praying and praying and praying. I was believing God would work a resurrection.

So yesterday I found out one of the situations has been put on hold. It isn't over. My friend is still fighting. But I was praying for a resurrection, not more waiting. And I have to admit I was disappointed.

And this morning I found out the little baby I have been praying for passed away yesterday. Sunday night I joined a bunch of other people – begging God to heal this little boy here on earth. It really looked like he was being healed. Even the doctors thought there was some divine intervention happening. I was sure He was going to bring a resurrection out of what had appeared to be a death.
I was sure of it.
Hadn't the Spirit been confirming these things to me over the past week?
But yesterday the baby died. And this morning I sat in front of my computer reading about it, with tears streaming down my cheeks, my heart breaking, and lots of questions flowing heavenward.
Why, God?
I thought You were giving us a resurrection. What happened?
Have I been hearing You wrong these past few days?
Was my faith not strong enough?
God, I know You have all the power and authority. What's going on here?
And what does this mean for all the other situations about which I have been praying? Can I still have hope for them???

The roads were icy this morning, causing a two-hour delay for school, so my kids were all home while this was going on with me. Thus I retreated to my bedroom to cry with Jesus, to talk with Him, and to let Him comfort me. I curled up with Him just like I told you about in this video, and I just let my tears and thoughts and feelings fall on Him.
And God's Spirit reminded me of this:
* God is still good. Though I do not understand the why's and wherefore's of His actions - God is still good.
* God did heal that baby boy. I wanted him to be healed here on earth, but that was not God's plan. That baby boy is free from all pain and needles and tears, and he is resting in the arms of Jesus right now.
* My friend's situation is not over. God may still resurrect her dream. Things are not always as they appear.
* God is worthy of praise whether He moves in the ways I want Him to, or not.
* And, I can trust Him in every moment of every day - to do what is good and right - whether I understand the reasons, or not.

So what do we do when trusting God isn't easy?
What do we do when we don't understand what's going on?
I have been immersed in these thoughts and I keep coming back to this one thing: I know who God is. I know He is good. I have seen His goodness and faithfulness in the past, and I know He doesn't change. And so...I choose to trust God, even when trusting Him isn't easy.

Where are you today, my friend? If you are in a situation like mine, I trust God has brought you here according to His perfect timing, and I pray He has spoken words of hope to your heart.
You can trust Him!